


Blut ist dicker als Wasser

by LadyAttie



Category: 12th Century CE RPF, British Royalty RPF, Historical RPF
Genre: 12th Century, Angst and Romance, Arranged Marriage, Cousin Incest, F/M, Forbidden Love, Historical Inaccuracy, Historical References, Non-Canon Relationship, Rumors
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-05
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-02-28 07:25:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 22
Words: 46,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2723771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyAttie/pseuds/LadyAttie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>"</b> There is an ancient proverb the Germans would convey by their tongues: <i><b>Blut ist dicker als Wasser.</b></i> Blood is thicker than water. These words are used to imply family ties are always stronger and more important than friendship ties, no matter how close you are to the friend. In a situation when a friend betrays you, you could always have a shoulder to cry upon in your family circle. If family was supposed to love you no matter the circumstance, why did my very own cousin Stephen of Blois shatter my heart and betray me to usurp the English crown? <b>"</b></p><p>You may think you know the story of a tale of two cousins who contended for their claims for the English throne. But what very few know is the forbidden love between the cousins. While there had been gossip of their close connection before and after “The Anarchy,” their ambition and revenge doomed their romance to a civil war leaving untold thousands of dead.</p><p>In her very own point of view, Empress Matilda chronicles her relationship with her cousin Stephen of Blois and why they were fatally destined to become enemies for their hunger for the crown.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've noticed there are barely any fanfics about my favorite rulers - and not one of my favorite pairing - the Empress Matilda and King Stephen of England, despite there are many people who praise the Empress Matilda and by today's standard she is acceptably believed she was the rightful heir.
> 
> There is no evidence whether King Stephen and the Empress Matilda were actually lovers. This rumored legend has spread in the years after their deaths over centuries and although it may seem utterly ridiculous and unrealistic, I cannot help but ship these two (at least semi-historically or in _The Fatal Crown_.)
> 
> I shall disclaimer that I am no professional historian, and this is only fiction and written for entertainment and fun purposes. Some events will and are only to be products of my imagination and inaccuracy will be involved unintentionally and sometimes intentionally.

✥ **PART I** ✥

✥ **PROLOGUE** ✥ **  
**

* * *

In my youth, my father would always tell me that a great ruler does not lead his own life but the lives of his subjects and personal happiness must be sacrificed for the public good. Since the day of my birth, I was destined for greatness and sacrifice. But these words had no meaning to me until my eighth year.

I am Empress Matilda, daughter of King Henry the First of England, dowager empress consort of the Holy Roman Emperor Heinrich the Fifth of Germany, Countess of Anjou, former Lady of the English and Duchess Regent of Normandy. Regardless of how much I still cringe over my title _Countess_ , from the time I had been betrothed to the Holy Roman Emperor I had always been a martyr for ambition and politics. Recalling everything I had gone through, I would have never believed I would endure so much chaos, broken promises and fortune.  
  
I was born on a chilly seventh day of February in Winchester in the year 1102. My mother, Edith (who was renamed Matilda upon her marriage to Lord Father), was the eldest daughter of King Malcolm the Third of Scotland and his saintly Queen Margaret, a descendant of the great Alfred of Wessex. My parents' marriage collaborated the ties between the ancient Anglo-Saxon line with the Normans, thus strengthening Lord Father's legitimacy for the English crown. The match was by no means a successful one, but Lord Father was notorious for his philandering and numerous bastard children. I was initially raised unaware of his antics, but Lady Mother eventually told me it is acceptable for men to give away their sexual needs outside of marriage. I never asked her if his ways were a bother inside, but she had seemed tolerant to such a view.

I had only one surviving younger full-blooded brother named William Adelin (so-called for his descent from the Wessex line). Lady Mother had two other children; one sister, Euphemia — a year older than I was — and a brother, Richard — a year younger than William — but they all had passed on early. My relationship with William was by no means fairly affable but also quite indifferent. I loved my brother dearly, and would tease him occasionally for being the baby in the family. But for his sex he was heir to the English throne so we did not always see each other. He had his own private tutor while Lady Mother and the clergy would take care of my education. Our distance created a very close relationship and affection I had for my older half-brother, Robert de Caen.

Robert was the result of a liaison my father had with a daughter of Rainald Gayt before his marriage to the Queen. He already had lived in Court ever since I was born. While he was about five years older than I, but nevertheless had always been my closest companion. Whenever I felt melancholy he would always be a safe shoulder to cry and lean on. He was the most loyal person I had known; supported and served for me until his death.

King Henry was not around frequently during my earliest childhood years. He would be located in Normandy across the English Channel to campaign against his revolting older brother Robert. After the mysterious death of the previous king, another older brother named William, Lord Father rushed to claim the treasury and throne of England while Uncle Robert was on a Crusade in the Holy Land. Uncle Robert was known to be weak-willed and unfit for politics but firmly believed his claim for the throne due to being the eldest child and son of Grandfather William the Conqueror. I can recall Papa coming to visit William, Robert, and I in England he would bring us presents and toys, but we did not have many times to construct a close father-daughter relationship.

Lady Mother was famous for her piety and dedication to our religion. I admire her compassion to the poor and sick and giving alms to them. While Lady Mother did spend most of her time fasting and the alms I was entrusted to the care of my wet nurse and her distant kinswoman Aldyth. She proved to be a loving foster mother and another close companion I could confide upon.

I was content with my life, with no major trouble or stress interfering. I did not think too much of my future, and I was spoiled as much as any royal princess would be. But the day when my cousin first walked in my life was something that was completely unforgettable, despite it was still several years ahead before Fate bestowed a significant purpose upon me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The German proverb "Blood is thicker than water" actually first appeared after Empress Matilda's death, but I really think this describes the irony in Matilda and Stephen's familial/romantic relationship perfectly. 
> 
> I will add some references and base some of the storyline from historical fiction novels (such as _The Fatal Crown_ \- Ellen Jones, _The Forgotten Queen_ \- Haley Elizabeth Garwood, and _The Passionate Enemies_ \- Jean Plaidy) dealing with the King Stephen/Empress Matilda romance. 
> 
> Aldyth is a fictional character created and owned by Ellen Jones in her novel _The Fatal Crown_ , but I will add some of my own original characters as the story goes along.


	2. Chapter 2

✥ **CHAPTER I** ✥

* * *

 There is an ancient proverb the Germans would convey by their tongues: _Blut isr dicker als Wasser_. Blood is thicker than water. These words are used to imply family ties are always stronger and more important than friendship ties, no matter how close you are to the friend. In a situation when a friend betrays you, you could always have a shoulder to cry upon in your family circle. If family was supposed to love you no matter the circumstance, why did my very own cousin Stephen of Blois shatter my heart and betray me to usurp the English crown?

I had forced myself to harden my heart with revenge and absolute hatred for him. As the civil war had raged over the years, however, I had come to realize I never had hated him even when he stole my right. I had often questioned myself: why could I not truly hate him? Was it because he was family? My cousin? One of the first people I had trusted?  
  
No. He left me something so special and deep permanently in to my heart since the very first day he arrived in England.

 **~** ✥ **~ ** **  
******

**WINDSOR**

**APRIL 1106**

I was four years old. Lady Mother summoned William and me to the great hall of Windsor in the midst of my playtime with him. I groaned in agony, believing it was prayers again. Despite I loved her with all my heart she was sometimes overbearing when it came to matters of religion. I still wonder if the King was ever exasperated of the Queen's pious ways.  
  
Aldyth picked up three-year-old William as I held her plump hand, and she led us to the great hall downstairs.  
  
"Matilda! William! About time!" Lady Mother exclaimed. She pulled William to her lap. "Thank you, Aldyth."  
  
I cocked my head, clueless at what she said. "Is something the matter, Mama?" I asked.  
  
"Nothing is amiss, my poppet. Stephen of Blois is coming to Court today."  
  
My expression did not change. "Who is Stephen? Is he going to be our new brother?"  
  
Lady Mother gave a heartfelt laugh. "No, Matilda. He is your cousin coming from France. He is the third son of your papa's older sister, your Aunt Adela. She wants him to become a knight when he is older."  
  
"Cousin? He's almost like a brother to me?"  
  
"In a way, yes."

"Steeeeevieee!" William giggled as he squirmed in her arms.  
  
I giggled too and then squealed delight. It sounded nice to have another person close to our age. I wondered about what he would look like.  
  
"What is he like, Mama?" I asked again.  
  
"Truth be told, I know not what he looks like," Lady Mother replied.  
  
"Is he big?"  
  
"Yes, dearest. He is only three years older than you — seven years old."  
  
"He is probably a giant!" I exclaimed.  
  
"Thweeeee!" William squealed. Lady Mother laughed at him.  
  
"Do you recall learning your numbers, my little one?" She punched his chubby cheeks as he giggled.  
  
"Won... twooo, thwee... far... feeve..." he uttered slowly.  
  
"Close enough. My, you're learning fast, dear!"  
  
A loud horn was suddenly heard from the distance. I was startled but Aldyth took me into her arms to comfort me. "Do not worry, it is only to tell your dear cousin is arriving."  
  
She led me to the courtyard as we followed Mama carrying William. I blew my cheeks up and down as we watched a procession and group of men enter through the large gates. My eyes darted around to find a boy who was supposed to me my cousin.  
  
As I looked about, a boy with hair the color of the golden sun dismounted from his brown horse. He was tall - about a foot taller than I - and was adorned in a simple brown tunic reaching to his knees, a hose a colour of tan engulfing his legs with matching boots and a forest green mantle clasped around his neck. His eyes — oh yes — his eyes were bright green with gold flecks dancing around, giving the vivid reflection of green fire. Streaks of dust swerved to side of his high cheekbones but did not diminish the beauty of his face.  
  
I stared at him with a mix of curiosity and awe, but timidity engulfed all over me. As he caught my gaze onto him, I backed behind Aldyth's back.  
  
To my astonishment, the boy extended a hand to me. I gave him an anxious look but he returned to me a grin.  
  
"Matilda," Aldyth begun gently, loosening her grip on my back, "greet your cousin."  
  
She let go of her arm as I approached the boy slowly. I took his hand and shook it politely.  
  
"Nice to greet you, Cousin," I said softly.  
  
The boy gave a small chuckle. "Meet. Nice to meet you too, Cousin. My name is Stephen of Blois. You must be the Princess Matilda."  
  
Suddenly, all my anxiety wore away. I know not what just happened but I felt very eager to know my cousin. "I like you already!" I blurted.  
  
Stephen winked at me as he placed a strong hand around my shoulder. "I like you already too, Cousin." His eyes darted about the courtyard. He pointed to the Queen. "She is your mother? She looks just like you."  
  
I nodded with a grin. While I had inherited my maternal grandfather's russet brown hair and traits, I inherited my mother's figure and physical characteristics, especially her facial ones. "She is very nice. I am her favourite!" I shouted with a glee.  
  
Stephen widened his eyes at me. "What about your young brother William? Isn't he the heir of the throne? Shouldn't he be the favourite?"  
  
I feigned offense. "Stephen! He's supposed to be Papa's favourite, not hers! Shouldn't girls be the favourites to their mamas?"  
  
He merely replied to me with a playful smirk.  
  
On the corner of my eye I spotted Lady Mother catching our conversation and walked towards us. Still holding young William who is staring at Stephen with curiosity, the Queen smiled at the fact Stephen and I have been getting along right away.  
  
"So my daughter has finally met the dashing Stephen of Blois?" she said in a teasing tone.  
  
We both blushed. "Yes. He's very kind," I responded.  
  
"Steeeevieee!" William exclaimed again.  
  
Stephen smiled at him and tickled his neck as my brother giggled in delight. "Hello Prince William. I am your cousin Stephen." He chuckled. "It is nice you call me Stevie."  
  
"Stevie sounds rather odd, don't you think?" I piped in.  
  
"Indeed."  
  
"Come, children. Let us come inside. Aldyth, follow," Lady Mother beckoned.  
  
I pouted. "I am not a child! I am a princess of England!"  
  
Stephen laughed at my frivolity as the five us of walked back inside Windsor Castle.

  **~✥~ ** **  
******

"If we're cousins, does this mean we are brothers and sisters?" I asked dumbly, while we were dining at the great hall in the evening.

He gave a hearty laugh. Sweet Marie, his laugh was very beautiful. "No, Matilda. Didn't your mother tell you already I'm the son of your aunt? A cousin is a child of a parent's sibling." He proceeded to take a bite from a chicken wing.  
  
I smacked a hand on my face in embarrassment. "Forgive me, I had forgotten Mama had told me earlier before your arrival what were cousins were. Mathilde of Boulogne is the daughter of my Aunt Mary, Mama's sister. So she is my cousin too?" I wanted to confirm.  
  
"Yes,” he replied barely with his mouth full.

“Stephen! Manners!” Lady Mother scolded next to him.  
  
"Is she your cousin too as we are cousins?" I proceeded to ask more questions.  
  
"No. She is not related to me, to my siblings, to my mother or to my father."  
  
I nodded as I swallowed my bread. "How many brothers and sisters do you have?"  
  
Stephen pondered in silence for a moment. "I have three brothers. The oldest is William — like your brother. He is mad and has problems. Do not ask me about him, it's a long story. My second oldest brother is Theobald, the heir to Blois. Then there is Henry, my younger brother. He is a year older than you, and is at the monastery for his education."  
  
"He's planning to become a monk?"  
  
"Yes, Matti. My, you’re a very curious little girl"  
  
"Matti..." I grinned at him for giving me a new pet name, "it's a nice name to call me. You are only the one permitted to call me that." I poked at his shoulder playfully.  
  
"Well, I am honored and lucky, Lady Matti." Stephen mock-bowed at me.  
  
I turned the subject back to his siblings. "What about your sisters?"  
  
"I have 3 sisters; Adela, after my mother whom I call Addi; Mahaut and Agnes. They're all older than you. I was close to Addi before my arrival here in England. As for Mahaut and Agnes, I love them as my sisters but I am not very close to them as I am with Addi. My sisters are destined to be married off to counts when they are old enough."  
  
"Do you want to get married?" I suddenly questioned Stephen.  
  
He smirked again. "I suppose why not. Girls are lovely company to acquaint with - like you."  
  
I blushed furiously at his response. I felt a strange sensation arising from the depths of my chest. My heart begun pounding faster. Sweet Marie, why was he making me feel like that?! I stared at him blankly as he smiled down at me.  
  
"I... That is very sweet of you to say. I suppose I love acquainting w-with boys like you too," I stammered.  
  
Now it was his turn for his cheeks to blush pink. "Pleasure." He turned away and returned to finishing his vegetables.  
  
As I continued eating in silence also, I continually gave him long glances as my mother decided to strike a conversation with him. While I was only a small child when I first met my cousin and had no knowledge of what love was, I could not help but admire this charming Stephen of Blois greatly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The exact date of when Stephen of Blois first visited England depends on the chronicler. Wikipedia says in either the years 1111 (from Adela of Normandy's article), 1113 or 1115. Some books say 1106. I've chosen 1106 to facilitate the story and plot.
> 
> Stephen's oldest brother William apparently was intellectually disabled and had quarrels with their mother, hence why the second son Theobald was proclaimed heir to the Blesevin lands.
> 
> Matilda's nickname "Matti" comes from the Stephen/Matilda novel _The Forgotten Queen_ by Haley Elizabeth Garwood. I know it is considered too modern of a nickname for 12th century Europe, but I've done this solely for entertaining purposes.


	3. Chapter 3

✥ **CHAPTER II** ✥

**JULY 1106**

* * *

When Cousin Stephen of Blois had made his debut at Court, life became more exciting having him as a companion as the months passed. Now at this period, no one had paid the slightest attention about how friendly we were to each other. Lady Mother was happy for me - I did not have much of friends aside from my brother Robert. Prior to his arrival, she would had arrange girls near my age to accommodate with me occasionally but in about every case, they had ended with indifference.

I loathe to admit this, but I would seldom lose my impatience when a girl did not speak so much. They were either quiet or they did not have the same interests like I did.  
  
But I can recall a unique once upon a time when a girl named Elfrida was invited to accompany me. Unlike the others, this one had ended in complete disaster.  
  
It was six months before Stephen arrived. The Queen thought since meek, timid girls were not my appeal to befriend, a spirited girl would satisfy my empty void - according to her observations of course. So she arranged with a distant Saxon kin of hers from Northumbria to invite a girl close to my age to come to Court.  
  
She was about year older than I, with dark hair, blue eyes and a pale complexion. She had a round, chubby face with thick eyebrows and full pink lips. Her nose was tremendous but long and straight.  
  
"Hello," I had greeted her politely.  
  
Her first response was a timid smile. Needless to say, I had become immediately unimpressed.  
  
"Elfrida, greet your new friend," Lady Mother had beckoned, "your parents have told me how you wild and vivacious you are."  
  
Elfrida only had stared at me. I warily had returned at her a stare, but I had given the Queen a desperate look.  
  
Lady Mother had cleared her throat. "Would you girls care to accommodate each other with a walk in the gardens?"  
  
"Elfrida, what do you say?"  
  
"S-sounds pleasant, my lady," Elfrida had uttered softly.  
  
Oh, she does speak! I had taken her arm and led her to the gardens of Windsor and showed her kinds of flowers. Many times I did the talking. Frequently Elfrida would reply one or two words, but I had figured if I showed her much enthusiasm hers would appear too.  
  
When I had led her to the pond near the far end of the gardens, I had sworn I had seen a glint in overpowering her dull blue eyes. I did not pay much attention to them as I wouldn't keep my mouth shut.  
  
"... This pond is the very where Papa and Mama had first met. He was dazzled by her peaceful beauty of her face as she sat on the stone," I had beckoned at the stone bench facing the waters, "and he sat next to her to charm her. It is a beautiful love story, I must say."  
  
"The King and Queen..." Elfrida murmured.  
  
"Yes, the King and Queen! They are a charming pair, are they not?" I turned my head to glance at her. "Elfrida. Elfrida?"  
  
A long silence flooded the air, with the exception of insects buzzing about the gardens and the pond rippling. I had felt my impatience and temper rising from the depths within me; I struggled to keep in control. I had managed to maintain an impassive façade but as I was about to open my mouth to kill then silence, I felt warm forceful hands behind me as my small frame fell into the pond.  
  
An involuntary shriek had escaped my throat. I opened my eyes as I saw Elfrida paddling through the waters. A sinister smile had begun to frame her plump face as a hand was pressed on my rust-coloured head and fell back underwater. Fear had overwhelmed my entire body. Sweet Marie, what was this girl doing?! I had smacked my hands on her hand and tried to remove it from my hair, but she had more strength than I did. I managed to poke my nose on the surface to gather some air, but water engulfed my mouth. I had cried out and begged Elfrida to stop, but my responses from her were in the Saxon language.  
  
Norman French may be my first language, but I had some knowledge in my mother's native tongue. I had realised she refused to let go because of her grudge over the Normans.  
  
"Damn you bloody Normans!" she shouted.  
  
I was astonished because I never heard of a girl this age speak such disgusting words — and I was confused. "I'm half Saxon myself, what is it to you?! You were invited here as a friendly guest!" I had screamed.  
  
"Your damned bastard grandfather stole our lands and savaged our homes in his conquest! My parents are still carrying the pain they have gone through when they were children, and their anger has become more bitter because your traitorous mother married his son! Mark my words, _Princess_ \- your family will die soon after you and we Saxons will rise up to eliminate every last Norman!"  
  
Her words had wounded my pride because she seemed to be far more intelligent for her age and knowledge, and she insulted my heritage. What five-year-old would say such? It was not until years later I had realized she was brought up in a family hungry for bloodshed and revenge, thus explaining her character.  
  
But I did not want to die. I kicked her shins as she cried out in pain. I was about to swim ashore as she grabbed my leg and pulled me back underwater. I had managed to scream and cry for help before her hand wrapped around my throat. Elfrida had kept muttering and cursing in Saxon as I started to choke.  
  
_Mama, Aldyth... Robert... where are you?_  
  
"SWEET SAINT ETHELBURGA!" a familiar voice had hollered.  
  
Elfrida suddenly released her hand off me as darkness engulfed my eyes and head. The last thing I had remembered was Aldyth cursing in Saxon to Elfrida and hearing the horrifying scream of my mother.  
  
Lady Mother was absolutely furious that she banned Elfrida and his family from Court permanently. As King Henry had returned for a visit, he became so uneasy and untrustworthy with Saxon noblemen due to the incident. The event was hushed discreetly in order to avoid any Saxon uprisings, chaos and scandal, but he did not want to invite the Queen Saxon relatives again other than her brother David or her sister Mary as he would never know who could be treacherous to dare to go against his family, especially his own Saxon-Scottish wife and half-blooded children.  
  
I was quite relieved Lady Mother had stopped inviting girls I could acquaint with unless there was an absolutely purpose to because of this horrific incident with Elfrida. I would not have to force myself to like someone unless I had wanted to anymore. Ever since that unfortunate incident, I had decided to spend more time with boys near my age - and that was alright for the Queen.

And I grew a fear of deep waters and drowning because of Elfrida.

When I finished telling Stephen about the incident, he was not only shocked but intrigued of why the distant kin of my Saxon mother wanted to assassinate a half-Saxon.  
  
"I never thought of a child five years of age to be so outrageously violent," Stephen responded after the end of the tale, "but I never have heard of a girl to behave far differently from her sex."  
  
"Who knew a seemingly friendly girl would turn out to be a murderer," I muttered  
  
The two of us were sitting alone on a stone bench under a blossom tree in a courtyard. The bright sunshine streaming over us and the gentle breeze gave me relieving feeling as I tasted the peacefulness within myself.  
  
"Elfrida's family seems to have an obsession in cleansing this island from barbarians. You may have Saxon blood running through your veins, but they see you as someone below them," Stephen said.  
  
I stood up with fury and stamped my foot. "How dare they look down on me like a common peasant! I'm a granddaughter of William the Conqueror and Alfred the Great!"  
  
Stephen chuckled. "Alfred the Great is your ancestor, not your grandfather. Was Malcom Canmore not your mother's father? Now that I think of it, I believe your saintly Grandmother Margaret inherited the great Alfred's blood."  
  
He arose from the bench and placed his hands on my shoulders. Somehow, the warmth calmed me.  
  
"I am Princess Matilda, daughter of King Henry and Queen Matilda," I proudly proclaimed.  
  
"And I Stephen of Blois, son of Adela of Normandy, daughter of William the Conqueror, and Count Stephen of Blois."  
  
I widened my eyes. "You're named after a parent too?" I innocently asked.  
  
"Indeed."  
  
"I must say I have never heard of anyone named Stephen. Many noble girls share my name - I don't see how is it a favourite. Mama was originally named Edith before he married Papa. Her niece - my other cousin - is named Mathilde of Boulogne."  
  
"They should have named you differently," Stephen pointed out.  
  
I walked towards the big patch of green grass where the sun streamed the brightest and laid myself down facing the sky. "I suppose so. Sometimes I am called 'Maud' to distinguish from other Matildas. Or they would refer me by my title Princess." I turned my eyes back at Stephen, smirking. "But I am most pleased you call me Matti."  
  
Stephen laid himself down next to me, placing his hands behind his gold head. "My mother named me after my father because I have a strong resemblance to him. I don't remember my father because he died at Crusade when I was three years of age."  
  
I signed myself after hearing that. "May God rest him in peace. I heard of the Crusades, but Mama would not talk to me of them because she says I'm too young." I frowned at the memory.  
  
"You are only four, of course you are."  
  
"Don't mock me!"  
  
My cousin allowed the silence to lengthen for a few moments. "My Lady Mother would sometimes tell me stories of our grandfather, The Conqueror. I always have found him and his righteous rule fascinating. His conquest has started a new dynasty, and as his grandchildren we should have pride over our heritage. I may be a son of the former Count of Blois but Madam has sent me to England to fulfill her and my ambitions to reach higher in position."  
  
"Papa would tell me stories of Grandfather. His right for the crown comes from his great-aunt Emma," I chirped.  
  
"Madam never had told me about that. Tell me what you know." Stephen's green eyes met mine, glinting with amusement and excitement.  
  
I smiled at him, my eyes equivalent to the same intrigue. "Emma of Normandy was the daughter of Duke Richard - 'the Fearless' as we call him. She married the Saxon King Æthelread. They had three children but Æthelread died when the Danes came to England for conquest. To survive she married the Danish king's son to maintain the Saxon ties with the Danes. She also did this to save her sons from getting killed."  
  
"What a woman! What happened next?"  
  
"She sent her sons to her brother who became Duke of Normandy after their father died for even more protection. Emma became friends with the Danish monks and priests to keep the ties strong, and she became Queen of Denmark and Norway."  
  
"So she was a queen of three countries? That must explain our grandfather's big ambitions."  
  
"I suppose so."  
  
Stephen remained silent for a moment. "Would you like to be a queen?"  
  
When he asked me that, I felt as a stallion kicked my belly. I stared at the clouds as I tried to picture myself as a queen - a taller, older, more beautiful image of the Princess Matilda walking towards the dais in Westminster Abbey with high dignity. I tried to hold back a smile but I realized what an impossible dream it would be. My brother William is to be the next King of England; such a pity girls cannot take the throne. But Lady Mother is a queen, a wife to a king - perhaps I will marry a king when I am older.  
  
"Why not," I finally responded, "I could marry a king when I am ready. It would be nice to be a queen." I turned to face Stephen again. "What about you, Stephen, would you like to be a king?"  
  
His face suddenly became impassive and froze into a mask. Seemed the question got him too. I thought about how he was a younger son of a count, not a king or a prince. Not being the oldest child in the family lowers his chances to inherit. Considering he was only a nephew of my father, it would be impossible for him to be a king.  
  
Unless he could become a conqueror like our grandfather.  
  
"Having the power to do whatever you want and be rich, it would nice to be a king too. Perhaps I could conquer land like our grandfather did to be a king," he finally replied.  
  
Was he reading my thoughts?  
  
"Seems that we think alike," I giggled with a smile.  
  
"Indeed, Matti."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The incident between Matilda and Elfrida is entirely fictional, as Elfrida is a fictional character. However, Saxons did still hold grudges over the Normans even at the time of Henry I of England as his father conquered their land.


	4. Chapter 4

✥ **CHAPTER III** ✥

**JANUARY 1107**

* * *

While my cousin and I had been very close we did not see each other daily. He had his own ambitions to achieve a high noble status while I had my own studies and education to focus on, being a daughter of a king. Despite Father was not always around he wanted me to have the best education and to follow his love of learning; he did not earn the nickname _Beauclerc_ for nothing after all.

Unlike most girls in my rank, my mother took care of most of my education. The nuns did teach me knowledge but Lady Mother also taught me some. When she was a girl she had a bad experience with her tyrannical Aunt Cristina at an abbey. Understandably, she did not want me to suffer the same as she had.

Being born a female, I had to also follow the feminine etiquette and propriety of society. Attention to the matters of religion was one of the most significant accomplishments for women in the day, and my mother was famous for this. Occasionally I would accompany her to the churches to give alms, some coins and wash the soiled feet of beggars.  
  
"May God be with you," the Queen whispered, kissing a female beggar's foot.  
  
"Thank you, my lady, thank you," the beggar cried joyfully.  
  
I smiled politely as I handed a bag of gold coins to the beggar. Others would reach their bony hands upon my arm as I gave each a loaf of bread.  
  
"Matilda, my daughter, you are very lucky to be born in luxury. Unfortunately, God does not assign everyone to it. While the poor may not be as fortunate as we are, they still deserve kindness," Lady Mother lectured.  
  
"Why does God not assign even some of the kindest poorest people to be rich?" I questioned.  
  
"Because the Father wants us to challenge our abilities of survival and strength."

"Do we the rich have to survive?"

She gave me a long stare. "Of course, my poppet. After all, your father has to still struggle in maintaining his position for the throne in Normandy because of your uncle."

"Are you worried about him? Do you miss him?" I naively asked.

She then gave me a weak smile. "I do miss him but I know for a matter of fact he'll always come back for me - and for you, William and Robert."

"You really do love him." I gave her a thoughtful look. "Mama, when you said we are very lucky to be born into royalty, do you mean we do not have to face any serious problems as we were born into royalty?"

Lady Mother became silent and turned her attention to another beggar to wash his feet. As I handed a loaf to him, I pondered about my mother's words. Why do the most the compassionate people deserve to go through many challenges? Surely they deserved better than that. As far as I had known, not every rich person was kind - I had learned of that experience from Elfrida's murder attempt.  
  
"You shall understand soon, lass," the beggar piped in with a wink.  
  
I only stared at him blankly.

Later that day after returning from Mass, I had decided to see my half-brother Robert. I finally spotted him at the castle grounds practicing sword dueling with Stephen in the cold, brisk air. My cousin attempted thrusting his wooden sword at his chest, but Robert placed a strong hand on his as he flipped him backward onto the ground. He pointed his wooden sword at his chin.  
  
Stephen was inexperienced in the martial arts at the time, of course Robert would constantly defeat him.  
  
"Not bad, Cousin," Robert said with a smile, giving a hand. Stephen chuckled as he was lifted up. He turned his head and caught my gaze. I smiled at him and he grinned in return.  
  
"Greetings Robert, greetings Stephen," I exclaimed as I approached them. I turned to my brother first. "I wish you could teach me how to use a sword."  
  
"Sister, you are too small to lift a sword." He meant to merely tease me but his words were true.  
  
"What about Stephen's wooden sword?" I gestured at it.  
  
"It's heavy."  
  
I smirked as I pulled the wooden sword odd Stephen's hand. I balanced it between my palms. "It's not that heavy, Robert." I swung it around clumsily. "Dare to challenge a _little_ girl?"  
  
Robert stared at me with hesitation while Stephen stared at me with amusement. I lifted the sword and twirled the hilt around my hand.  
  
After a long silence, my brother finally nodded in agreement. He raised his sword as we simultaneously started to duel. Somehow, I managed to avoid his slashes as we moved back and forth. On the corner of my eye I spotted Stephen's mouth drop open. How am I not already defeated by Robert?  
  
I attempted kicking Robert to the ground but my long skirts almost made me trip and fall over. I managed to quickly regain my balance as I avoided another blow. I clashed my sword with his as I tried to muster my strength to force him to lose his grip. To my dismay his vigor caused my hand to drop my sword as it rolled away.

My eyes followed the sword as it stopped in front of two boots.  
  
I looked up and saw a large but stocky man standing to watch us. His dark black hair glistened under the sunlight, his grey eyes sparkling. I recognized the man immediately; the King! I did not expect him to visit today! I had not seen him since a month before Stephen had first arrived to Court.  
  
"Papa," I said, "Mama never told us you were coming."  
  
He walked towards us and darted his eyes between my brother and I.

"Matilda. Robert," he spoke gruffly.  
  
"I... In truth, Papa," my voice sounded like I was strangled, "I was very interested to see how it is like to use a sword." Sweet Marie, that sounded so lame in my ears.  
  
He laughed. "Do not worry, Daughter, I am not going to punish you despite it is very nontraditional for a female to use such a weapon." He placed a large hand on my cheek. "You are the first female I have seen to use a sword, Matilda; your fighting skills are not as bad."  
  
He was obviously complimenting me, but it made me smile. "Really?"  
  
"Really." Lord Father turned to Robert. "My son, you've got fantastic fighting skills too. Keep practicing, my boy." He patted his shoulder affectionately.

"Thank you, Father." Robert bowed his head.  
  
When the King turned to face Stephen, he stared at him curiously as he observed. Stephen gave him a dazzling smile and bowed down in respect.  
  
"I am Stephen of Blois, son of your sister Adela," he introduced.  
  
"Stephen? So it is." The King smiled in return but then frowned. "You do not resemble her."  
  
"My mother named me after my father as I am the spitting image of he. I am sure the Queen has told you already of my arrival here on this beauteous land from almost a year ago."  
  
My father ran his fingers through his black hair. "Ah yes. I can recall your my wife writing to me of your mother's expectations for you and her desire for a noble title bestowed upon you. By God's grace, I must have missed so much while on my campaign. You are her third son, are you not?"  
  
"Indeed, Sire. I may as well be called Stephen Lackland as my older brothers will inherit land of their own."  
  
The King burst in a loud roaring laughter and rolled his neck. I tried holding back my giggles; Robert could not also help himself to chuckle. Who would have known Stephen had a very amusing sense of humour!

"Lackland indeed!" Lord Father managed to regain his composure and place a strong hand on my cousin's shoulder. "So how do you think of England?"

"'Tis very beautiful, Sire. I enjoy the hills and green forests about England."

"Ah, they are the most beautiful really. I myself prefer the forests here than the ones from Normandy. Surely you have seen Normandy on the way of your first arrival here, Nephew."

Stephen nodded. In the background, I gave a loud yawn of boredom and Robert exasperatingly fiddled with his fingers.

"Papa, it grows late. Is it not supposed to be supper now?" I called out.

The King drifted his eyes to the skyline; the sun was about to set. "It seems so you are correct, Daughter. We should all go break our fast."

 **~** ✥ **~**

"Nephew, tell me how was it like to grow up without a father?"

At the high table I watched my father and cousin have an exciting conversation. Sweet Marie, how did the King take a liking to Stephen already?

It was impressive of how Stephen would use his charms to ease the King. To be quite frank I never had seen Lord Father look very pleased - not even with my brothers or I. Lord Father does not like to show affection or a sunny disposition, being infamous for his cunning streak and lack of mercy. As seldom as he had showered love for his children he was still a tough lion; either it was his tough disposition or the lack of time he had with us.

"I wish I would have been older enough to have some memories of the Count before he was killed. I have heard he was an honorable man but also a coward." Stephen's green eyes fell as he stared at his lap.

"A kind man I have heard. Do you know why he was referred to as a coward?"

"I... Needless to say is he, err, he abandoned his men at a battle in the Crusade. Lady Mother loathes to talk of the story but despite he died a respectable death, the Blesevins would continue to whisper stories of him."

I observed Stephen's face closely, and it was clear he was uncomfortable with the talk. I recalled he would not enjoy talking too much of his late father but he was confident enough to talk of him as a brief footnote.

"I apologise for my rashness, Stephen. I understand you do not want to talk further of your father. May God assoil him." The King signed himself. He darted his grey eyes towards me. "I see you have grown close to my daughter."

Stephen's face resumed normalcy as he grinned brightly. "Yes, Sire, she has a great spirit."

"He has proven to be one of my most trusted friends," I added.

"How did you two grow such a friendship? I am very curious to know."

By God, Lord Father was so nosy!

"When Mama and Aldyth took William and I to the courtyard to meet Stephen, what I first spotted was a tall boy with gold hair and green eyes." I grinned at Stephen. "He caught my eye to approach me. At first I was shy but Aldyth told me to greet my cousin. Then somehow we stroke an exciting conversation."

"So it is," the King replied with his mouth full. He placed his guinea hen leg he was gnawing on down on the trencher and look straight in my eyes. "I am proud of you, Daughter, you have finally found a great friend to confide in with besides your brothers. You were always a difficult child to deal with; the last time we have gotten you to acquaint with someone near your age was a disaster." I knew he was talking about the incident of Elfrida, and I spotted his face begin to turn darker.

The huge double-doors of the great hall suddenly opened as everyone turned to the direction. I recognised my younger brother William enter with his tutor, Nigel. It had been eight months since I had last saw him. A month after Stephen's arrival, William's lessons as heir to the throne were to be taken more seriously. Sad to say is he hardly got the chance to get to know his cousin personally like I. I significantly noticed he had grown taller and his frame had already become stocky. While he had our mother's light blonde hair and blue eyes, he had our father's frame and facial characteristics.

"Ah, William, my son!" the King bellowed as he stood up and stepped down from the dais. His face softened immediately and placed his hands on his shoulders. "How fares my fair boy?"

"Very well, Papa," William replied.

Lady Mother also stood and walked towards him. "My son... you have grown." She embraced him tightly as he caught my gaze and waved.

"The prince has done brilliantly in his lessons, Sire. He now knows how to count to a thousand and is starting to write in Latin," Nigel piped in from behind.

King Henry nodded. "Excellent news, Nigel. You have done wonderfully."

"A far cry from last time when he could not pronounce number five correctly." Lady Mother restrained herself from laughing aloud.

"Mama, I am older now," William stammered, his cheeks blushing.

"Of course, my dear. Continue studying harder. One day you will be King of England and Duke of Normandy, you do not like to be seen as a failure to the people, correct?"

"Yes, Mama, I will work hard." He grinned.

"That's my boy." The King tousled his flaxen hair, then proceeding to speak more in a louder tone. "I have very important news to announce: I am no longer here to visit but to stay here for most of my days, unless of course I am in need for Normandy. What I am saying is the campaign in maintaining my right for the throne is over. Your Uncle Robert is imprisoned in Devizes at this very moment. I have defeated him at the Battle of Tinchebray." He turned to his queen. "Wife, you have done well as regent of England in my absence." He took her hand and kissed her fingertips, then kissed her cheek affectionately.

"So you now have more time to spend with us?" I exclaimed from the high table.

My father nodded with a smile.


	5. Chapter 5

✥ **CHAPTER IV** ✥

**APRIL 1107**

* * *

"Care to go hunting with your father, Daughter?" the King asked me on a brisk April morning.

I whirled around and set my sight on him. His stocky body was dressed in a knee-length black tunic over a surcoat. A thick brown belt adorned across the hip of his tunic along with a sword hanging, placed inside a scabbard. A black mantle cascaded down his back with a gold clasp fastening it over his shoulder. A matching hose dominated his thick legs along with furred riding boots on his large feet. On his massive square hands, he wore leather gauntlets. My father's dark hair blew silently as the spring breeze overwhelmed the air.

"Oh hi Papa," I greeted him.

It had been a few months since his return from the Continent. It seemed he wanted to spend some time with me after his long absences, but I was frequently engrossed in my lessons.

"I can ask your Mother to give you permission to dismiss your lessons for today. We have not accompanied so much because of my battles with your feeble uncle."

At this moment, I was watching Robert practicing archery in the courtyard. He locked his eyes sharply onto his arrow, making sure it would precisely hit the bullseye. After a few long moments, he finally released the bow. Unfortunately, the arrow hit a few inches away from the bullseye. I watched him groan in impatience.

"Ten shots and I still cannot succeed!" Robert threw his arrow onto the ground in frustration. His face started to turn red and he looked like he was about to throw a fit. "This is absurd!"

Our father walked to him and gripped his hands on his shoulders to calm him down. Robert pounded his strong fists on Lord Father's chest angrily as the King attempted restraining him.

"Robert," Lord Father began sternly, "enough with this. You are making matters worse. Keep up with such a behaviour you would only continue to not succeed. Not only that but you are making yourself an embarrassment to your pride."

Robert frowned. "Sire, are you saying I am inept-?"

The King grunted. "No, Son, you are not weak; rather I am saying do not let that foolish behaviour stop your determination. Even the most skilled warriors and archers had to be dedicated to reach to where they are now. That is what your grandfather did to fulfill his ambition."

My brother seemed to be taking his words in thought as he nodded gratefully.

Ambition. That word lingered throughout the waves of my mind. I already knew my grandfather claimed his right for England from his great-aunt; however, a thought appeared that caused me to not help but believe there was more reasons for his ambition.

"Care to join a day of hunting with myself and your sister?" my father asked Robert, interrupting my thoughts.

"I never agreed to it yet!" I called out facetiously.

The King chuckled. "Well do you now?"

"Of course. I am bored anyway!"

Now it was Robert's turn to chuckle. "I'll go too."

Later in the day Lady Mother did permit to dismiss me from lessons. After my ladies changed into my attire for hunting, I ran to the stables. I saw my father already astride on a black palfrey, and if you were to set your sight upon them they could possibly impose fear. This King Henry looked like Pluto, the dark King of the Underworld from the ancient Roman myths.

Meanwhile, Robert was debating to himself of which kinds of arrows to choose. I walked up to him and glanced at the baskets of different arrows.

"How about you choose the lightest arrows?" I suggested. "That way, you can easily catch the beasts. It does not matter which has the sharper tip. And hunting with your bow and arrows can help you practice your archery skills after all."

Robert smiled down at me genuinely. "Never thought about that, Sister. I must credit you for your high intelligence."

"Why thank you, Brother!" I beamed proudly. I was about to place a hand on a large arrow set in a different basket but Robert grabbed my wrist.

"Matilda, don't. It may be too heavy for your delicate age."

"I am five years of age, but I do not look like one!" I rolled my eyes. It was true though; according to others and Stephen I was as tall as a seven-year-old.

"Children!" Lord Father boomed. "Stop wasting time and let us go hunting already. Matilda, by God's teeth, just take the other basket of arrows." He pulled his reins as he rode away.

"Very well," I muttered as I rebelliously grabbed the remaining light arrows Robert had chosen and placed them in a bag to wear over my shoulder and back. A stable boy helped me up a white pony, and I pulled the reins to follow the King into the woods.

After some time I managed to catch up in the company with my father; Robert came along too after me.

"Are the arrows too heavy for you, Daughter?" Lord Father asked.

I snorted. "No, if they were I would not be carrying them right now." Such a comment made him roar in laughter and I scowled. "What was so amusing and hilarious? Don't underestimate my small size and age."

"Matilda, you humour me very interestingly. Your character is very intriguing," he replied.

"And by intriguing, what do you exactly mean?"

"I see a form of strength and a strong will inside you."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "How am I strong? Papa, don't tease me. I'm not strong like Robert or Stephen."

He chuckled. "I'm not talking about physical strength, I'm talking of your inner strength - the strength of your heart and mind."

"That was what Father meant about saying I am not weak," Robert said. "You see, our pride and aspects of our nature defines our stability."

A quick shadow of motion suddenly appeared in the corner of my eye. I turned to see a deer trotting across the forest paths.

"A deer!" I shouted. I pulled my reins as I sped towards the direction of the deer. Behind me, I felt the presence of Lord Father and Robert following.

"Err, Father? Did you bring the hounds along in case we lose track of the doe?" Robert asked the King.

I turned my head around and saw a dark shadow cross my father's face. He groaned. "Damn it! How foolish and reckless I am to forget even my own dogs!" He noticed me staring. "Matilda, girl, face forward!"

I blushed at my temerity. "Yes Sire!"

I swiftly drifted my eyes back to the deer and pulled an arrow from my back, ready to aim. I gasped as I carelessly nearly dropped the arrow. I looked up and saw the deer nearly disappearing behind a large crowd of taller trees. As I was about to pull my bow to point the arrow towards it before it was too late, my fingers unintentionally released the bow as the arrow fell onto the green grass. Suddenly, an arrow behind me already swiftly targeted the doe. To my astonishment, the arrow hit her head and the doe fell down onto the ground.

It was either Lord Father or Robert who killed the doe and when I turned, it was truly the latter.

"Robert..." my voice was full of bewilderment, "you did it!" I gave him a pleased smile. "Told you this could benefit your archery skills. Perhaps next you will finally hit the bullseye!"

He returned a smile as he dismounted his horse to collect the doe.

The King rode his horse beside me and gruffly said, "Perhaps next time you will kill a creature."

In truth, deep inside I wanted to prove my very own self-worth, but I loved Robert and he deserved such praise.

"Yes Papa." I forced a smile. "I know I will some day, mayhap sooner."

I thought back to the conversation of my strong will and the importance of our pride, then I pondered to the conversation he had with Robert of ambition.

"Do you like being king?" I blurted out.

"King? Do I like _being_ king?" Lord Father nearly shouted. "Why do you ask such a sudden question?"

I did not like how he said "being." 

Realising how I had the audacity to ask such, I looked away. What made matters worse was a heat of flushing creeping towards my face. I feared my father's next reaction for asking a question not pertaining to our conversation abruptly and how he responded.

I felt a strong hand grip my shoulder. I slowly turned and faced him, and I found no hint of displeasure written upon him.

"Matilda, do not fear of asking," he said steadily. "You are a Norman, and we Normans have to be bred to the life of the awareness of responsibility. To answer your question, yes, I enjoy being king. I do not like it but I love it - I love my people also. A great ruler does not lead his own life but the lives of his subjects and personal happiness must be sacrificed for the public good. And I must say power is a fantastic feeling."

I shivered; it was like he was reading my mind. I was tempted to ask him if he truly loved his people, why would he drive in great lengths to be very ruthless to men who dared to cross him? Of course, such men deserved punishment but not in a very heinous experience. I decided to spare myself to question him further of it.

"Power does seem to be an interesting concept," I agreed, "and as a princess I want to try it."

He smirked. "You have already used power throughout your life, Daughter, you have the power to order your ladies and servants." He paused in the deep thought. "When you are older, you will learn to use different types of power. However, you will ought to use it fairly."

Different types of power? Fair use?

Seldom I would scold my servants and ladies if they committed mistakes, but I would not intend to thrust harm upon them. I knew power could hurt, but how else could it harm others in other ways?

"So here is she," Robert's voice suddenly came. Sweet Marie, I almost had forgotten he was still around. The doe was slung over his strong shoulder. "Shall we return to Windsor?"

"Oh yes. Fantastic hunting, Son," the King commented.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was really difficult to do but there you go. I just wanted to construct an in-depth POV of Matilda's early familial relationships with her half-brother and father. :P


	6. Chapter 6

✥ **CHAPTER V** ✥

**SEPTEMBER 1107**

* * *

On an ordinary early autumn afternoon, my mother immediately summoned for me to visit. I automatically assumed I was to help accompany her again to the chapel to feed and wash more lepers, but regardless I walked up the steps to her solar.

When I pushed the oak door open I found Lady Mother sitting on a cushioned stool, chatting away with a large hairy man with sandy hair standing. He glanced at me with large blue eyes with intrigue.

I curiously and solemnly stared at him as I waited for Lady Mother to speak.

"Ah Matilda!" she exclaimed, rising from the stool to place her hands on my shoulders behind me. "David, the last time you had seen your niece was on her birth. She is five years old now."

"Uncle David?" I whispered. I turned to look up at Lady Mother. "He is here for...?"

"Why he is here to visit and see you! You hardly had met him when you were born because you were only a babe."

I walked up slowly to the man as he gave me a warm smile. He knelt down to my size and observed at me with scrutiny.

"Your hair, I must say it's extraordinary - the color of my father's actually." His voice was gruff but not harsh. It hinted a slight Norman French accent. "Your eyes, very much like your father's." He poked at my small button nose. "But your nose is very much like your mother's. You resemble her greatly facially."

I grinned. "You look like Mama yourself also."

Uncle David's smile widened. "Yes, I have your mother's hair and eyes. Your smile is your grandmother's, the saintly Queen Margaret. She was known to be very fair." He stroked the curls of my russet hair gently. "You shall truly grow to be a great beauty when you are older."

Heat crept upon my cheeks. "Thank you, Uncle." I kissed both his bristled cheeks affectionately.

"I have a present for you, Niece." He grabbed a leather bag behind him and opened it. He pulled out a two clay figures: one dressed in red satin and silk with yellow hair adorned with a gold tiara and another riding on a clay brown horse and adorned with silver armor and a helm. I gasped in astonishment.

"Toys? For me?" I touched the two poppet dolls. I hugged the female one tightly to my chest while clutching the knight on my hand.

Uncle David pulled a wooden stool nearby and sat down. "So tell me, Niece, how fairs your royal life and studies?"

Lady Mother pulled me to her lap to sit on. "My lessons are well. I actually have a love of learning." 

"Now that is fantastic news! Seems you have inherited your father's love of learning. Speaking of your father, how close you are with each other?"

"I suppose we are close." That was obviously not entirely true, but I did not want my uncle to be concerned. "I am close to my half-brother Robert too. He will make a fine archer and knight."

"I remember I last met him when he was only four years of age. You know he was present at your birth, and he swore to protect you for a lifetime."

"Yes, he has told me. Will you see him and Papa later?"

"I will. I had forgotten to mention but how is the Prince William also? I have yet to meet him."

"He is growing bigger and smarter. Sadly, he is not here right now as he is in London. He is doing his princely duties of touring and learning the city." I sighed. How I wished to spend more time with him like I would see Stephen and Robert frequently, but he would always be my brother

"Lady, I must ask you- oh, am I interrupting?"

The door opened again with Stephen entering. His face was abashed with embarrassment for inadvertently disrupting the conversation.

"Seems so I am. Silly of me, I shall return later."

As he was turning to walk away, Lady Mother said, "No, no, please stay. Stephen. You must meet my brother." Stephen went to stand beside her. "May I present David of Scotland, youngest son and child of the late King Malcolm Canmore and the saintly Queen Margaret. David, this my husband's nephew, Stephen of Blois. He is the third son of his older sister, the Countess Adela."

Stephen bowed respectfully in his presence as Uncle David acknowledged him with a bowing nod. "So it is. It is a pleasure to meet you, Sire." He gave him a dazzling smile and attempted speaking in a strange language I could not understand. I eyed him skeptically.

"So you have learned the Gaelic language, eh?" Uncle David cocked his head in amusement. "Not bad but keep up the good work." He patted my cousin's shoulder.

"I had picked up some Gaelic words from books I have read, so it is nothing really," Stephen replied. "Your accent - are you not supposed to be Scottish?"

"I was exiled to England when I was nine after my father's death and the ascension of my uncle. I stayed at the a English court for some time during the reigns of your uncles, and I have become close to the King Henry."

"Why did my great-uncle exile you?" I asked innocently.

Uncle David sighed. "You're too young to understand, little Matilda."

I felt my temper beginning to boil beneath me, but I managed to restrain myself. "May I be excused? I am hungry and I want to fetch a snack."

That was partly true because I was hungry, but I could not lie to myself that I was really fed up of everyone making excuses I was too young to learn particular things.

Lady Mother nodded. "You may leave."

"I should go too." Stephen volunteered immediately. "Again, it was a pleasure to meet you, my lord." He bowed again, and we left the solar together. He took my arm suddenly as we ran across the hall. "You are growing fast, do not worry about being too young."

I cocked an eyebrow. "So you knew?"

"Why would I not? It's been over a year I have been at Court." He smirked. It was foolish of me not to realize he could read me very well.

"You are only three years my senior but yet, you seem to know everything. Why is that?" I cried.

We stopped walking and he took both my hands. "When you reach the age of seven or eight, that is the time you shall start to know more."

I frowned. "Funny how we are supposed to grow up fast but it feels like an eternity to wait."

He chuckled. "That is true, Matti."

"What was it you were initially planning to do when visiting my mother?"

He suddenly blushed. "N-nothing in importance, just matters of religion."

I raised an eyebrow suspiciously. "You don't seem to be the type to be very concerned in the matters of religion."

He avoided my gaze. "You know my father was a Crusader, and my younger brother is at a monastery. I was just going to ask her about her religious opinions."

I suppose Stephen was going to ask her about what the Bible interprets. We resumed to walk through the hall and down the steps. "So what do you want to do?"

"Whatever you decide, Cousin."

While descending down the stone stairs, I was in deep thought. How should we do our next adventure? Spending time in the forests? It was a lovely day anyhow.

"We could run into the woods." I grinned mischievously.

Stephen stared at me skeptically. "But we shouldn't be out there at this time of hour!" It was already an hour past None and Vespers would had been in two hours.

"You had said we could do whatever I have decided, so I have decided. We can be back by sunset and before Vespers," I whined. I gave him pleading eyes.

He chuckled. "You know I cannot resist you."

**~** ✥ **~**

"Matilda, you're going to get yourself hurt up there," Stephen called out from below.

I rolled my eyes. "I won't get down until I reach for that pomegranate! And you agreed to it."

"I have changed my mind, too risky! That fruit is really high on one of the very top branches."

"Too late! You said you could not resist to agreeing anyway!" I heard Stephen snort as I laughed. I grabbed another branch to climb up on. "Almost there!"

"How long have we been here?" Stephen asked.

"Cousin, stop worrying. I'll get the fruit before Vespers."

As I placed my foot on the branch, my foot got caught on my mauve skirts and I felt myself slipping losing grip. I gave a loud yelp. I tried to grab another branch that was the closest to me but I missed. I used my left hand to have a grip on a bigger branch as I clung to it tightly.

"Are you alright?" Stephen shouted.

"Yes, I am alright." I looked up and felt a huge wave of relief the pomegranate was still close by. I stood up and jumped to grab a branch above me. For the next few moments I climbed and grasped other branches to reach higher. Beads of sweat emerged from my forehead and my arms were sore, but I was determined to get that pomegranate. I nearly fell again when I grabbed a thin branch, but I luckily managed to place a hand on a thicker one above. The pomegranate was only inches away and I reached my hand towards it.

"You can do this, Matti!" my cousin hollered.

"Stop distracting me!" I snapped. "And were you not worried a moment ago?"

I raised my arm and stretched it the farthest I could for my fingers to touch the pomegranate. It took a few tries to reach for it, but I eventually managed to fold it into my palm. Then I heard an unnerving sound coming from my left. Fear overpowered me, and I slowly turned to see the branch cracking. I gasped too late when the branch completely broke and I fell on the branches below.

I heard my cousin yell as I fell on a large branch. I only took a moment to sigh in relief when my body was dangling with my hands firmly clutching the branch. Unfortunately, I felt my fingers about to slip.

"Stephen! You have to catch me because I am about to fall!" I screamed.

"Do not worry, I shall be here!" Stephen ran to the spot right directly beneath me so he could end my fall safely. My fingers lost the gasp just in time he came to the spot, and I shut my eyes tightly.

_THUMP!_

After a couple of moments, I slowly opened my eyes and I saw the familiar green-gold eyes locked into my grey ones. Stephen stared at me for a long time with them while they sparkled. I felt as if I was hypnotized. Our faces were so close to each other, and he leaned forward very slowly.

I eventually realized I was lying on top of him and my mouth was agape. He had turned pink, and I felt my face starting to flush also. I slowly looked at my hand and saw the pomegranate was still there.

"We should get back to the castle," I murmured. I handed the pomegranate to Stephen. "And this is for you; a token of appreciation for saving me."

"I thought you were hungry," he pointed out.

"No, no, I insist you have it."

After a few moments he hesitantly nodded and took the pomegranate. He helped me up on my feet and we started walking in a silence, passing through the trees.

I stared on the horizon of the sky, evidently noticing the skies turning purple and indigo. A loud bong came from the distance, signaling Vespers. I felt myself immediately panic and Stephen seemed to have noticed my response.

"Matti, do not fret, we will get out of here quickly." He clutched my damp palm and I followed him, running across the bushes and tall grasses. The indigo sky began to darken as I spotted the crescent moon ascend.

After a time we slowed down the speed from exhaustion. There was no sign for the meadows to Windsor Castle, and my instincts had started to sense danger. 

"Stephen, I don't like this. We are lost. Surely this was not the way we had passed earlier," I whispered.

A faint rustling came from behind me. I slowly turned and only found thickets and tall grasses. Was there a creature following us? If it was a deer I would not have mind, but deer were big and surely they would conceal themselves behind the trees.

The next I heard was small growl. I felt perspiration falling from my temple as I glanced about, and I grasped Stephen's palm tightly. After several moments passed silence flooded the environment. I felt somewhat relieved but my heart began pounding uncontrollably. We continued to walk forward slowly, doing our best to avoid making any large sounds and maintaining precaution. It was not too dark yet so I was able to observe faraway distances closely. When I looked around, I spotted a dark shadow in the distance. It seemed to be approaching us, and I noticed it was walking on four legs. I caught a glance of ears and sharp teeth.

I involuntarily began to shiver in fear. This was the last animal in my mind to face.

"Stephen," I whispered in a shaky voice, "there is a wolf approaching us." I gestured at the direction.

" _Jesu!_ And I don't have a sword sheathed on my belt!' he muttered under his breath. He took my shoulders and gripped them tightly, locking his eyes into mine again. "I promise I will protect you out of all costs. When we run, do not let go my hand."

I nodded mutely as I took his hand. We sprinted away and I felt the wolf chasing after us. More hot tears fell from my temples and forehead. I prayed we would finally outrun the wolf and find our way back to Windsor. It had seemed likely the King may have noticed our absence and tardiness, but it would be better if he had sent a search party for us.

I at least also prayed he would in case.

Suddenly in a blink of an eye, the wolf pounced onto Stephen, attempting to bite his shoulder. I shrieked and I looked about quickly to find at least a weapon to weaken it. Aha! A long thick fallen branch! I picked it up from the leafy ground and swung it over and over upon the beast.

"No! Matilda, you'll get yourself killed!" Stephen yelled.

The wolf turned around and growled at me. I managed to maintain a calm façade despite I felt my heart was about to burst. I wanted to make a run, but my feet felt as it were suddenly glued onto the ground like stone.

Stephen stood in front of me, shielding me from becoming the wolf's prey.

"Stephen, I don't want you to die!" I cried out. I felt water cramming in my eyes, and I knew I was about to cry.

"I am not allowing a daughter of King Henry to die in a forest! Do you know both of our uncles had died in one?" It took me a moment to realise he was talking about our late Uncles William Rufus and Richard.

Suddenly an arrow flew upon the wolf, penetrating its back. The beast fell down on the ground as dark red blood gushed from the wound. We looked up to see who shot the arrow. For a moment I had thought it was Lord Father or Robert. To my bewilderment there was a tall dark, broad man. Next to him was a boy who looked to be about Robert's age. He resembled the dark man, and he was holding a bow and arrow. Behind him I noticed arrows tucked in a bag slung over his shoulders, so I assumed he shot the arrow. The two males were dressed in surcoats, mantle and tunics, so it seemed likely they were nobles from Court. However, what was strange was I had never seen the boy before. The boy stared down upon us - me especially - with mysterious dark blue eyes, as if he was staring in the depths of our souls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not revealing anything about the mysterious boy at the end! ;) Curious to read your commented theories about who he is though.
> 
> My longest chapter so far though. I have introduced some small fluff between the two cousins, and I had so much fun writing it. Like Anne had commented in the last chapter, aren't young Matilda and Stephen so cuteee?!


	7. Chapter 7

✥ **CHAPTER VI** ✥

* * *

"That was a fair shot, my boy."

The large man patted the mysterious boy's back and darted his eyes back and forth from Stephen and I. He gave a grim smile. "What are you two children doing out at this hour? Should you not be at your evening supper?"  
  
I wanted to explain but I was struck dumb.  
  
"Let me explain," Stephen volunteered, "in truth we went to play here in the woods but the wolf followed us on our way back home."  
  
"You are a member of the King's court, yes?" the blue-eyed boy finally spoke. His husky voice sent chills through my spine.  
  
"Matti, you are cold. Here, take my mantle." Although I was hardly cold, Stephen unclasped his blue mantle and placed it around my shoulders. He turned to the boy. "Yes, I am. And this is the Princess Matilda."  
  
I gave the boy an acknowledging nod while he bowed politely. He gave a smile, which shockingly resembles his father's. "My name is Brian FitzCount, bastard son of the Duke Alan of Brittany." He motioned at his father. "And that is he."  
  
The Duke stepped forward. "We are supposed to be on our way to Windsor to see your father. I am to place my son at Court to be brought up for a title." He lowered his eyes to the corpse of the wolf. "My boy heard shouting and yelling in the distance and he stubbornly decided to follow it, knowing there was trouble about. This is how we have found you children."  
  
"No wonder you both resemble each other greatly," I finally spoke. "And he is a fantastic archer, I must say."  
  
Brian chuckled. "Why thank you. You seem to be a very interesting girl, a particular girl full of life."  
  
Heat crept upon my cheeks at his complimenting words but I returned a polite smile.  
  
Stephen gave a cough. "Shall we return to Windsor now?"  
  
"Oh yes, yes. I'll take you and the lady there," Duke Alan said. He turned to his son. "Perhaps you should take the dead wolf with us to prove how worthy you are to be at King Henry's Court."  
  
Brian knelt down to pick up the wolf over his shoulders to carry. Stephen and I walked towards the carts of procession, and we sat on the bales of hay.  
  
I looked at Stephen's shoulder and gasped. "You're bleeding!"  
  
"It's alright, Cousin, it's just a scratch."  
  
I rolled my eyes. "Really, because it's still bleeding until now."  
  
The wolf had indeed bitten his shoulder when it had pounced upon him, creating quite a large wound. I was rather uncomfortable at the sight of such a wound but thankfully it did not look too deep.  
  
"At least it is not a very deep wound," I added. "Do you want me to tie something around it?"  
  
"If you are so concerned then you may," he replied roughly, neither looking at my eyes or face.  
  
His tone was not the normal smoothness I had known, and I felt as the hairs on the nape of my neck arched upward. I pulled up my grey skirts very slightly and tore a long strip. Stephen still did not look at me as he unbuttoned his tunic and pulled his right sleeve down slightly to expose his bare shoulder. I wrapped the ripped fabric around the wound and fastened it.  
  
Brian climbed on the cart and sat on a bale across us. "So you have never told me your name yet, good sir."  
  
Stephen refused to even look straight at him. "Stephen of Blois, son of the late Count of Blois _and_ Adela of Normandy, daughter of William the Conqueror." He emphasised my aunt's name proudly.  
  
"Grandson of the Conqueror so you say? No wonder you are close to your little cousin," Brian said in a light teasing tone. "Come, Stephen, is something amiss?"  
  
"Nothing is amiss."  
  
The horse started drawing the cart as it followed the cortege.  
  
"Cousin, it is very obvious something is wrong," I said a few moments later.  
  
"It's just my wound," he simply replied.  
  
None of us spoke again as we rode away from the forests to the meadows. It did not take long for us to finally reach Windsor Castle. Brian was so astonished at the sight of the glorious and humongous castle.  
  
"It's beautiful, is it not?" I said.  
  
"Indeed! I would very much love to be apart of King Henry's Court already!"

The iron gates drew up and we all entered the courtyard. I felt my stomach grow sick with dread. I had forgotten the King would surely punish Stephen and I after missing the evening supper, perhaps even going to far lengths to whipping us.

I stepped down from the cart and said to Stephen, "How shall we explain to the King our absence? Surely he would have noticed it by now."

He shrugged. "I think I should leave that up to you. I should go to the infirmary." He walked away from me to ascend upon the stone steps.

Brian suddenly appeared beside me. "Really, Stephen ought to tell us what is wrong with him."

"I know not what is bothering him. And I don't understand why is he so cold to you."

"He'll be alright, just give him some time," Brian assured.

The Duke Alan waved a hand at us. "Come, let us greet King Henry."

We followed him through the stairs as we walked through different wings of the castle. Anxiety gripped throughout my entire being as we finally reach the door to the throne room, but I took a deep breath. Whatever must happen must happen, but let us hope Lord Father would not be absolutely furious.

The guards opened the door as one stepped in ahead of us. "The Duke Alan of Brittany!" he bellowed through the halls.

His voice interrupted the King and Queen's conversation, and they immediately turned their heads to face us. A shadow suddenly crossed through Lord Father's face when he saw my disheveled appearance. Then he gave the Duke a friendly smile, and the three of us walked forward to dais. Duke Alan and Brian knelt in respect.

"Ah, Alan! It is a great pleasure to see you after a time!" King Henry rose from his chair and took Duke Alan into his arms, patting him on the back.

"As it is to mine, my old friend," the Duke Alan replied. He turned to my mother and took her hand to politely kiss. "My Lady."

"Pleasure to meet you again," Lady Mother said.

Lord Father observed Brian carefully. "So this is your bastard son Brian eh? My, he looks just like you! There's no denial. How old are you, boy?

"Ten, Sire. I shall be eleven by January," Brian replied.

"You are about my own bastard son Robert's age. You should meet him." He waved at a squire close by. "Hamelin, fetch my son would you?"

"Yes Sire." The squire ran out of the room.

"And as for you, _young lady_ ," his voice became very stern and gruff when he turned to me, and I tried my best to maintain calmness, "where have you and Stephen been lurking around? You have missed the evening supper."

"We were at the gardens again," I suddenly blurted out. That was the stupidest lie; why did I say that?

I must had been too fearful for his wrath, but because of my ridiculous lie I may as well earn a whipping.

"Don't lie to me, Daughter! You would have heard the horn call for you two earlier. Explain why your dress is ripped and why you're sooted!" His face began to turn red. "Where is your cousin?!"

"He's at the infirmary," I said truthfully.

"Why? Why is he there? Did you hurt him? I know your attitude and temperament after all, because if you did I can arrange you to not have any meals for three days!"

"No, I swear I did not hurt him! W-we went out in the forests before Vespers and..." My voice then choked and I could not continue. Tears welled up my eyes.

"Sire, if I may explain they were in forests at sundown. I heard screaming and shouting from the distance while on the way here, and I found a large grey wolf approaching the two. I did see the wolf bite Stephen's shoulder. I believe they were trying to escape from the beast," Brian explained.

"But why were they in the forests in the first place?" King Henry demanded.

I was openly crying already. "Because... we were bored, and we were climbing trees. I got him a fruit." It was undoubtedly true but the explanation sounded so lame. I ran to my mother's arms for some comfort as she embraced me and ran fingers through my hair.

"My son shot an arrow to kill the wolf. He is actually a very skilled archer," Duke Alan added.

A silence flooded the entire room and I fought back the tears, hoping my father would not punish me when he heard the news. Brian held the corpse of the wolf forward as proof.

"Impressive," Lord Father finally said. "A great credit for the young boy as he has shown signs of courage to be a knight."

"I have great ambitions, Sire," Brian said.

"Brian deserves a place at Court indeed," Lady Mother acknowledged. "He is showing signs in perhaps earning a great place in history."

Her husband nodded and he gave me a death stare. "If you think that Brian had saved you would spare you from punishment, you are gravely mistaken." His voice was very soft now but it was dangerous.

"But I am here alive, right here in the flesh!" I pointed out.

Suddenly Lord Father grabbed my arm. I clung to my mother and she attempted to protect me from his true wrath.

"Let her go, Wife. A disobedient, insolent child deserves to be punished nevertheless," he ordered.

He used his strength to tear me away from her grasp as I was led from the room quickly. He did not care the Duke and Brian were witnessing the spectacle. Thank the Holy Mother there were no other guests, however. I was forced to walk alongside with him as we passed through different corridors. We passed by Hamelin leading Robert to the throne room, and at the corner of my eye I spotted Robert wordlessly look at me with question. Lord Father gripped his own hand tighter and walked quicker to escape my brother's suspicions.

We arrived at the stables and it was exactly what I had feared. The King walked to the wall to grab a leather whip hanging from a peg.

"Kneel," he commanded. "I will whip you but not so much to give you bruises and scars upon your back." He tore away Stephen's mantle from my neck.

I obediently knelt down on the straw floor. He raised the whip and slapped it on my back. I whimpered and seethed at the pain. I shut my eyes tightly and tried to think of a happy memory to ease myself. I attempted to keep myself still but I involuntarily moved my back.

"Stop moving, girl," he snapped. "I promise you will not give you too many blows."

Like that made me feel better.

I endured with a few more blows for the next several moments, the lashes growing more and more painful. I did not regret running into the woods with Stephen but rather I regretted we had to face a fearsome wolf.

After some time I opened my eyes and saw the King kneeling down to my level. I locked my eyes into the ones so similar to mine. He lifted my chin.

"I promise you shall never lie to me again, Matilda, correct?" he said in a gentle tone. "Such behaviour is unfit for a royal princess like you."

I nodded. "What will you do to Stephen? What's his punishment?"

"As he had merely and typically played the part of following your tail, he is to be confined to his chambers for the following three days."

Now that infuriated me greatly.

**~*~**

"You!" I shrieked when I marched into the infirmary. Stephen was sitting on a stool with a woman tending his wound. He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Yes?" he responded tersely.

"Leave us!" I commanded at the woman. She looked sheepish at the sound of my tone and glanced at me fearfully as she left the room. I turned to my cousin with a red face. "You brought a whipping upon on me!"

Stephen narrowed his eyes. "What are you talking about?"

"What am I— what am I talking about?!" I spluttered, disgusted. "The King punished me with a whipping and even went as far as to threaten me with no meals for three days, but his punishment for you is confinement for three days only! How unfair is that!"

"How does that give you the right to be angry with me?"

"Because you caused all this in the first place! You left me in under his hands because you were so afraid to even face the confrontation with him! You knew he would be furious with us, but to escape the whipping you went to here so I can carry the pain!"

Now it was Stephen's turn to be angry. "How could you accuse me for that? I had no intention whatsoever! Who was the one who planned to roam in the forests at a forbidden hour?"

I ignored the last part. "Do you know how painful a whipping blow is?"

"You know, I'd rather be confined than be whipped. And of course I understand, but did you get any deep wounds?"

"Never mind about that! You hardly cared of how should I explain with the King! Ever since Brian came into the scene, you have been cross. Sweet Marie, you never had explained why! And did you not say from your own lips you have promised to protect me? What a lying fool you are." I felt my eyes water again but I straightened my shoulders to fight back and maintain my morality. I did not want to cry anymore after experiencing too much for the day.

Stephen flinched as he was slapped on the face but refused to meet my gaze. However, I could tell through his lowered green-gold eyes he was still angry at me.

If I had gone on any further I would have completely thrown a tempestuous fit, so I threw his forgotten blue mantle he had given me to return to him before storming away through the door, slamming it loudly behind me. I could had sworn I heard a sharp cry in the distance, but I shrugged it off with insignificance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh no, little Matti is very angry but poor Stephen! Can't say I blame her ignorance and frivolity, however. Of course King Henry wouldn't be too happy about their brief disappearance after all, as everyone knew him for his iron will and lack of mercy.
> 
> Why do you think Stephen is annoyed at Brian?


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took longer than expected. I admit, I didn't have much motivation and inspiration for this chapter and I really wanted to get it done, so this is definitely not my best one.
> 
> If you know your history, Matilda won't be leaving for Germany for the next couple of years. I apologize if the story is slow-paced at the moment; however, part two is not far away from now.

✥ **CHAPTER VII** ✥

* * *

The following three days were quite boring as Stephen stayed confined in his chambers. The King forbade me from seeing him, but that did not matter so much because I was still angry at him. Thank the Holy Mother Brian and Robert were there for companionship.

"So Stephen is still angry at you eh?" Brian had asked on the last day, proceeding to sit next to me at the stone bench while I was watching he and my brother practice archery.  
  
"Even if he is still angry right now, it his own fault anyway in the first place," I muttered, "after all, he cowardly left me for the whipping."  
  
"Have you two ever quarreled before?"  
  
"Never until two nights ago."  
  
"And did you just call him a coward?"  
  
I blinked at him. "No."  
  
Brian kept his gaze upon me. "You said he cowardly left you to your father's wrath. That is simply calling him as one."  
  
"Even if he is not one, he still did something cowardly. How clever of him," I mocked.  
  
The sound of Robert's loud shout interrupted our conversation. For a moment I thought it was another of his frustrated outbursts in archery. When we turned we saw him jumping up and down, I spotted his mouth curled into a large grin. I glanced at the target hanging from a large hay bale, which had an arrow piercing at the middle. A bullseye indeed!  
  
"I finally succeeded in hitting the bullseye! I should fetch Father!" He ran through the arches, passing from corridor to corridor.  
  
Brian chuckled. "Is your brother always like this?"  
  
I shook my head. "He is so determined to hit the bullseye. Months ago he would sometimes throw a fit for not succeeding. Papa motivated him."  
  
"For certain he will grow up as a great warrior."  
  
"What about you? Don't you think you would too?"  
  
"Of course."  
  
The King strode into the courtyard with Robert following behind. Robert was grinning so widely and ridiculously I burst in laughter.  
  
He chuckled along. "What is so funny, dear sister?"  
  
I pointed a figure at his face. "Your smile!" I continued giving giggles and my forehead fell on Brian's shoulder.  
  
"Really, it is like my daughter is possessed by a demon," I heard Lord Father say. His voice was obviously in a teasing tone, and I felt happy tears emerge from my eyes.  
  
"By God, are you crying?" Brian yelled. "Robert, this is your fault!"  
  
Robert gasped between his chuckles that now grew into mad laughs. "Not that I'm sorry I have finally made my little sister laugh after two days of being infuriated!" I lifted my head up to see a playful smirk curled upon his face.  
  
"Well, it seems you have succeeded very well," I said with a genuine smile.  
  
Lord Father gave a loud clap. "Alright, that is enough fun. Robert, I am proud of you. And Brian," he fixed a stern look at the blue-eyed boy, "don't make yourself lazy and comfortable sitting down — do your work."  
  
Brian was about to protest in explaining he was merely chatting with me, but the King continued, "I know you are a skilled archer already after proving your worth with that wolf, but please, if you want to reach your ambitions to be a great lord then you must train more of yourself with other martial arts, not only just archery."  
  
"Yes Sire."  
  
"So that settles it. Matilda, please come with me."  
  
I was confused but I rose from the bench and walked toward him. He placed an arm around my shoulder as we passed through the corridors, which was really awkward because it was so out of his character.  
  
"Are you still angry?" he suddenly asked.  
  
I felt my back stiffen and I glared at him. "If Robert has made me laugh, what can I possibly be in what mood right now?"  
  
"Ah, now your mood has changed to aggravation." The King chuckled.  
  
"That is not funny!" I snapped.  
  
"Yes, yes, alright, it is not funny. But back to my question, are you still angry at your cousin?"  
  
I narrowed my eyes at him. Of course I still was despite the laughs I did earlier.  
  
"Seems that you are. You cannot stay angry at him forever," my father said.  
  
I stopped my legs. "I am angry for a very good reason, Sire, you know that very well! How would you feel if someone so close to you would betray you like that? And how could I trust him the next time?" I shrieked.  
  
The King gripped his two large hands on my shoulder and turned me around to face him. "Daughter, I know how it exactly feels for someone so close would betray you like that. Take my oldest brother as an example — and I am not referring to the rebellion of his claim to this land — rather I am talking about in the past whenever he would always make false promises of helping covering up my antics and taking the blame."  
  
"And he would tell Grandfather on you. But I had to take the blame instead of Stephen!"  
  
"You still planned to enter the forest at forbidden times in the first place. It is only a matter of fact your cousin followed you out of habit."  
  
I drifted my eyes away. "You surely have a point, Sire."  
  
"Very few people do deserve more than a single chance. Surely he had no intention of harming you. After all his wound still had bothered him. He is truly good boy."  
  
Stephen somehow managed to quickly grow his favour under the King, and despite his confined punishment, it would seem to look like King Henry only made the punishment light because he doted on my cousin. "But is he not supposed to apologise to me?" I asked.  
  
"He will, give him some time. Do not forget blood is thicker than water."  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
"He's family, your cousin after all. Even though I cannot trust your uncle anymore, I... he still my brother." He quickly walked away forward across the halls. Before turning his right to disappear from my sight, his head faced my eyes again. "And I still expect you act like a proper princess. Tame both that temper and stubbornness of yours."  
  
I merely rolled my eyes.

The next day was when Stephen was to be released, but I had not seen him around. After dressing for the day and breaking my early fast, I walked downstairs to the schoolroom to attend lessons.

Sister Edith and Anslem, the Archbishop of Canterburry, both stroded inside the room and proceeded to teach me in reciting phrases in Latin. Latin was not a difficult language for me as the pronunciations of the words were exactly heard as how they were written. Our eloquent Norman French also had words derived from the language itself, and I had been used to hearing Latin from church anyway.

"Very good, my lady, you almost sound as you are fluent," the Archbishop praised.

"Thank you, Your Grace," I merely replied.

"Now I want you to write and translate the text from the book to Norman French."

I sat down on my stool and looked down upon the text. _Si quis autem suorum et maxime domesticorum curam non habet fidem negavit et est infideli deterior._  But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. ***** I still have yet to forgive my cousin, but I had thought whether it was worth it or not? My uncle had been imprisoned for defying my father, but did not the King say he is still his brother after all? Of course in my heart I did not want to lose my dear friend, but he was still a traitor for his cause.

"Are you going to continue staring to space and woolgather or you will pick up the quill and write?" Sister Edith's clipped voice interrupted my thoughts.

"Yes, yes." I sighed, dipping my quill in the bottle ink and proceeded to copy and translate.

I could be damned to the fires of Hell for never forgiving Stephen, but I defended myself that as long as I confess my sins occasionally, my soul could still be saved. I wondered if he was avoiding me intentionally or went to attend his own lessons.

Or perhaps he feared the concept of never forgiving him?

 _He will apologise_ , a voice sounding like my father's boomed in my head, _he truly cares for you, and you were his first friend upon his arrival to England._

I groaned internally. But should I trust him again?

_Trust is earned as time flies, not as sudden as the stroke of lightning. This is only the first time he has crossed your lines greatly, but he will prove to you his remorse._

I suddenly stood from my stool and walked to the door.

"And where do you think you are heading, Princess?" Archbishop Anslem called from behind.

I twisted the latch down to pull the door open. "I must go, it is urgent," I said over my shoulder.

"But your lessons are not over yet."

I ignored him and sprinted down the halls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *1 Timothy 5:8 in the Holy Bible, translated from Latin to standard English.


	9. Chapter 9

✥ **CHAPTER VIII** ✥

* * *

I needed to find Stephen. I searched through rooms around the floor to no avail. Even he was not at his schoolroom. I decided to check upstairs. I nearly tripped on myself while ascending the stone steps, and Aldyth just had happened to be walking down at the opposite side.

"What is the rush? Should you not be at your lessons, my poppet?" she asked, her voice somewhat stern.

I clung to the metal railing. "I am sorry, Aldyth, I just wanted to find Stephen." She arched an eyebrow. "Do you happen to know where he is?"

"I have heard he has gone hunting with your father," she replied. "Matilda! You should wait until they retu—"

I quickly walked down the steps to escape my nurse and went through different corridors and sections of the castle until I found myself at the stables. I whistled at a stable boy to help me up on my pony. Pulling my reins, the pony sprinted through the meadows. I did not know how long have the King and my cousin had been out, so it could be difficult to find them at a spot.

I finally arrived in the woods and glanced about. No sounds came so I assumed the party were deeper in the forests. As I rode through the trees, I noticed deer and rabbits lurking. Odd it was the party never shot down creatures here. Perhaps these animals were not around earlier. I decided to dismount my pony and I tethered him to a nearby tree. I found myself trembling as I finally realised I had no cloak on. I was not in riding clothes either and the days have grown colder.

"How foolish of myself to be so careless in going out in the November chill like this," I muttered to myself. The brisk wind caused my russet hair to blow upon my face, and I impatiently pushed it away.

I sprinted forward as I leaped over fallen branches and climbed through rocks. It was not long until distant shouting finally began to reach my ears. I continued to run while nearly stumbling over a hole until I set my eyes on the hunting party. I peeked behind a boulder to look down and search for the King and Stephen. While I recognised many of the men, I did not catch a glimpse of tawny hair. However, the King was there. I sighed in dismay and waited at my hiding spot for the party to pass.

After a time when the party disappeared, I was about to emerge from the boulder when I heard the sound of horse hooves. I quickly stayed still behind the rock, thinking it was another man of the party. Out of nowhere a crow bird suddenly landed upon my head, causing me to scowl. It then proceeded nipping on my hair strands and I let out of a small cry.

"What was that?" a voice came from behind.

Perspiration fell from forehead at the possibility of being discovered. I jumped around, trying to shoo the bird away but it would not flee. I was involuntarily backing away, and it took me a moment to realise I was at risk of falling off the cliff.

But it was too late.

I shrieked as I tumbled down, but I did notice the bird finally spread its wings to fly away. As I fell I knocked over a horse and whoever rode astride it. The male figure moaned as he lay flat upon his face.

Stephen!

I scrambled on my feet and ran towards him. I overturned his body and he opened his eyes to meet mine.

"Matti, what were you thinking?" he whispered, his eyes looking dreamy.

"I'm sorry — for everything. For blaming you... for throwing a fit," I stammered.

His face suddenly became twisted. "Are you mad?! You're not appropriately dressed! It's chilly out here and you could catch a cold!"

I rolled my eyes. "Don't worry about me, I just came here to apologise. You're my dearest friend."

"But you did not need to run here alone and find me here! You should have waited! I am so angry at you, Matilda of England!" Stephen shouted. "And what would your father say if he finds you in this position?"

I smirked. "You are not angry, Stephen. Were your eyes not dreamy moments ago?"

He flushed a deep shade of pink. "I— I am j-just concerned for you, Matilda. I do feel guilty for leaving you whipped by the King. I don't want another happening to you again." He scowled. "You really have to stop being so rebellious."

I snorted and stood up to brush the dirt and strands of grass off my skirts and sleeves. "Whether I am rebellious or not, this is who I am."

"I daresay you are correct." Stephen held out a hand for me to help him to his feet. "And I actually picked these for you. My apologetic present." The blush returned to his cheeks but only faintly. He was holding a bunch of yellow roses, and I did not even notice.

I smiled widely and took the gift. "Thank you, Cousin, and I accept your apology." I grabbed him into a tight embrace. He returned it as I felt my shoulder growing wet. I was shocked because it was supposed to be unnatural for a boy or a man to cry.

"I am so glad, Cousin. I was afraid of losing our tender friendship," he sniffed.

I pulled away. "We won't. I should get back to Windsor before you and Papa return. Aldyth knows I am here, but I will deal with her." I walked away to jump and climb myself back towards the cliff. Thankfully it was not a high one or else I would probably had taken longer to return to the castle. I looked down at Stephen one more time. "I shall meet you again at supper."

He smiled and I sprinted away. I managed to find my pony and ride fast back to Windsor Castle without any difficulty. The hunting party did not return yet, so I was spared from placing myself under King Henry's wrath.

When I opened the door to strode into my chambers, I found Aldyth blocking my way, her arms crossed.

"Aldyth, you do not have to worry. I had found Stephen in the forest, and we have forgiven each other," I said, striding ahead of her to sit on the dressing table and to unbraid my hair. I found an empty jar where I placed Stephen's yellow roses.

"You are such a disobedient child. This is the second time in a week. You and that boy had almost gotten killed by a wolf already." Aldyth wrinkled in disgust and untied my girdle and my tunic. "And you have ruined your new gown!"

I rolled my eyes. "This gown isn't as important as to making amends with Stephen. I must also add I know how to be careful anyhow."

"You and Stephen are far too close as cousins," Aldyth said slowly, narrowing her eyes.

"Because we are the best of friends," I quickly responded. I sighed. "Have you told the Queen my whereabouts?"

"You are lucky I did not. I had to run to the Archbishop and Sister Edith to make excuses of your absence, but please go attend lessons again after the bath."

I stood up and shook myself off my garments, with the exception of my linen chemise. I walked to the washroom at the other side of my chamber, as two servants finished filling the wooden tub. I sat in the absorbing water as Aldyth picked a damp cloth and scrubbed it around my thin arms. I dipped both my hands in the water and splashed it to my face.

Aldyth glared at me. "Don't make such a big mess, Matilda! You wouldn't want to give more work to the servants!"

"But it is fun and refreshing to do that!"

She sighed and continued scrubbing on my neck and shoulders. I relaxed under her skillful fingers.

After she finished, she rubbed a rosy-scented oil upon my skin. I stepped out of the tub as she wrapped a long white towel around my body. We walked out of the room and I resumed sitting on the dressing table again. Since the fire brazier was close to the table, it helped dry my hair. Aldyth grabbed a comb to untangle my dark russet strands while I winced on the stool.

"Can you please not comb too hard?" I asked her.

"Dear child, your hair is naturally very thick," she replied.

When she was finished combing, she opened a jar of cream, dipped her fingers in and rubbed it around my hair. The cream was to give it a finished shine, and she combed it again in case. Then she proceeded to braid my hair.

"I doubt Mama and Papa would remember what I had worn earlier today, since they are engrossed in their own business. But perhaps you should get a gown that is somewhat of similar color to that green one," I said.

A couple of my ladies were unpacking my chests a few feet away to search for a fashionable tunic and gown similar to what I had worn before. After Aldyth finished braiding, I looked to upon the selections. I managed to find a forest green tunic and a pale green gown that were the closest, and my ladies helped me dress.

"There. Now you do not look as if you had gone to the woods again." Aldyth finished tying the gold girdle. My ladies behind her bowed as I opened the entrance door. I walked across the hall, going through several left and right turns. I encountered the stone steps descending to lead to the main floor of the castle. I stepped down the spiral staircase and jumped from the second to the last step playfully onto the ground.

"Ouch! Pardon me!" 

I felt my lower half of my body ache. I almost lost my balance and nearly yelped. I looked down and had not realised I bumped into something, no, someone. I looked down to see who it was.

The person was a short girl who looked to be three years of age. She had silver-gilt hair, the same color as William's. She had blue eyes and pale-pink complexion like him too, and her small mouth's lips were the color of rosebuds. Needless to say, she looked somewhat pretty and attractive. Her attire consisted a white gown and a pale blue tunic framing her slim figure, and a wooden cross adorned her slender neck.

The oddest aspect about this girl was she looked very familiar, but it was not because she shared the same features with William. She looked like a miniature of someone...

"Are you lost?" I asked politely.

"No," the girl replied, her voice very gentle, "I am looking around the castle. I have to say it is very beautiful." She stared at me curiously. "Who are you?"

"I'm Matilda, the daughter of the King and Queen. Simply, I'm a princess," I introduced.

She gasped, placing a small hand over her mouth. A white-cladded figure approached behind her, and I shrieked.

"Daughter, so you have met your other cousin!"

It was only Lady Mother. but I immediately noticed the facial similarities between the girl and her. I paled terribly, my body trembling in shock. The girl who supposedly was my cousin continued to stare at me, but with astonishment.

"C-cousin?" Sweet Marie, I hardly could get my words out! "Is she-?" I gulped nervously.

Lady Mother placed her hands on the girl's shoulders. "This is Mathilde of Boulogne, my niece. Remember I have told a little about her to you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapter has been late again! Again, not my best because I've been running out of ideas, am suffering through writer's block, am lazy and have been traveling through the addicting world of Tumblr (yes, it's addicting!) 
> 
> Anyway, I would like to thank Jessica for giving me the idea of having the young Matilda (or Mathilde as called here) of Boulogne meet young Matti. Good news is that Stephen and Matilda have finally made up! And aw, he gave her roses! Yellow roses are known to symbolize for friendship. Hey, don't you think Little Matti is too reckless for her sense of adventure? She seems to have a bad habit of going into the woods at the wrong time.
> 
> I've thought of switching point of views to Stephen's point of view (in 3rd person), so what do you think? Should I do that occasionally in the future?


	10. Chapter 10

✥ **CHAPTER IX** ✥

* * *

"She looks as she is exactly your younger self as a child!" I shrieked, still shocked from the impact upon discovery.

"Shush. Lower your tone, that is not proper for a young lady like yourself," the Queen said sternly. She still held her hands on Mathilde's shoulders. "Mathilde was wandering about own her own while she was accompanying her tour with me. She is a very curious child, I must say."

"So she is like me in some ways." I looked at this unknown cousin again. "You are very pretty, just like Mama."

A pink blush spread upon Mathilde's white cheeks, and she curtsied. "T-thank you, Princess. You are lovely yourself too."

I smiled. "You don't need to refer me as that title, Cousin. It's a true pleasure to meet you."

"Matilda, why don't you tour her instead so you both can get to know each other better?" Lady Mother suggested. "After all, most of your company near your age is consisted of boys, especially with Stephen." She clasped her hands. "I will be at the chapel if you girls need anything."

"But Mama, I was about to—"

"You need at least one friend that is a girl, Matti." She disappeared at the blink of my eye.

I sighed and extended my hand to Mathilde. She took my hand quite reluctantly, as we walked across the corridors. I observed her again, noting she had a rather timid expression. Was she frightened of me? Or was she shy? Perhaps I should groom her to be more at ease in my presence.

"So Mathilde, how old are you?" I asked.

"Three," she replied softly. I widened my eyes at her young age. It was odd enough she had wandered around the castle on her own because of her curiosity. She also rather did remind me of William for that. I can recall William always disappearing and running like the wind, especially in formal events.

However, Mathilde did not seem to be mischievous as he was.

"When is your birth date?" I asked.

"June. June 25."

I nodded. "My birth date is on February 7. Have you studied the astrological signs yet?"

She shook her head, but she stared at me as if she was expecting to know what they exactly were.

"Well, the astrological signs were made by the Ancient Greeks to predict. When you were exactly born, they use the planet alignments, along with the sun and moon alignments, to determine your future," I explained. "They also use certain symbols of animals to label horoscopes. Since you were born between June 21 and July 22, you are the sign of Cancer — the crab. I am the water carrier, Aquarius, as I was born between January 20 and February 18."

"Does God not hold our predictions for our future?" she inquired.

"He does hold our Fates in His hands. I am not saying what the Greeks had said are absolutely true, but matters have a funny, strange way in fulfilling our future." I paused at the door that held where I was tutored. "I had lessons earlier and I had to have my bath, so do you mind sitting at the back while I finish mine? It will take an hour."

"I don't mind. I like to learn," she replied with a meek smile.

"Seems we have more in common than I thought." I pulled the latch and walked towards my desk at the front, ignoring the ugly glares of the Archbishop and Sister Edith.

"Princess, I would highly appreciate you do not run out like that again," Archbishop Anslem sternly said.

"I apologise, Archbishop and Sister," I said, opening my book.

"Who is that young lady at the back?" Sister Edith asked.

I glanced at my cousin sitting at the back, staring at me. I blinked and returned to face the nun. "That's my cousin Mathilde of Boulogne. She's the niece of the Queen."

"I have met her mother Mary once upon a time. So why is she here in our presence?" Archbishop Anslem said.

"She actually enjoys learning like myself, so I hope you do not mind her being here."

The Archbishop walked towards Mathilde, observing her up and down. He clasped his hands. "So my dear, where have you been educated at?"

"Educated? Do you mean where I was taught my lessons?" Mathilde asked. The Archbishop nodded. "Oh, I've been taught at the Romsey Abbey. Mama sent me there since she was also taught there at my age."

"Tell me, dear, do you know the Ten Commandments?"

"Yes, Archbishop. _I am the Lord thy God_ ; _thou shalt not take the name of thy Lord God in vain_ ; _remember to keep the Sabbath Day holy_ ; _honour thy mother and father—_ "

"That is quite enough. You seem to be very intelligent. And I must say you look so much like your aunt."

"I said the same also!" I hollered.

"Princess! Act more ladylike," Sister Edith scolded.

I ignored her and stood on my stool. "Do you know the many kingdoms and empires about Europe, Mathilde? Perhaps we can challenge each other on our knowledge of geography! You do seem very intelligent like the Archbishop said."

The Archbishop turned his head towards me, ignoring at my improper manners of standing on the stool. "That is an excellent suggestion, Princess. It would be fun for you little girls to play a game. Mathilde, do you agree?"

She nodded meekly. She stood and took a seat at a stool nearby.

Archbishop Anslem strode to the front and cleared his throat, "What is the capital of France?"

"Paris!" Mathilde and I exclaimed.

"One for the Princess, one for her cousin," Sister Edith proclaimed, tallying on her wax tablet.

"What is the name of the river surrounding the city of Paris?"

"The Seine," Mathilde replied.

"The Rhine," I said.

"Two for Mathilde of Boulogne." Sister Edith tallied again.

I groaned internally. I had really thought it was the Rhine River.

"Where do Kings of Scotland get crowned at?"

I blanked out at the answer.

"Stone of Scone," Mathilde said.

"Three for Mathilde of Boulogne."

"Where is the most influential state of the Holy Roman Empire?"

"Mainz," I suddenly cried.

Sister Edith pointed her quill pen towards me. "Two for the Princess Matilda."

"Last question, which county is the longtime enemy of Normandy?" the Archbishop asked.

"Maine," I said.

"No, it's Anjou," Mathilde corrected. "Maine is a part of the lands the Count of Anjou can rule over because the old Count of Maine was forced to give it up."

"Four for Mathilde of Boulogne. I am impressed in your knowledge of that history," the Archbishop remarked.

While I could not deny Mathilde's extraordinary knowledge in her geography, history and religion, I felt as if she had knifed a dagger upon me. She was only two years my junior yet she could remember many names. When I was her age, I only had learned the simple terms of religious matters such as the Commandments, Sacraments and Beatitudes. It was not until I had turned four when I had received my own tutor.

It was if Mathilde of Boulogne was a prodigy.

"Matilda, you should study harder in your geography. You seem to had daydream too much during your lessons. It is very important for your future. One day you will be married to a foreign ruler, and you must get to know all the cities and lands of Europe to prepare for your role as a consort," the Archbishop commented at me.

I nodded lightly, fighting back the surge of resentment from my loins. It was true I had a habit of daydreaming upon my lessons. I did not want to show it to my cousin since I cannot find any fault within her. The nuns at Romsey must have been better in teaching then, but I did not want to say Archbishop Anslem and Sister Edith were incompetent teachers.

I sat again on my stool, awaiting for them to finish the other half of today's lesson I had missed early today. Mathilde decided to listen along with me, and while I did pay more attention more than I would usually do, I could not deny the disquieting feeling about my cousin's favour lingering inside.

We were dismissed by the two elders an hour later, and as we opened the door to leave, I saw Stephen leaning on the wall, fiddling with his fingers.

I smiled. "Hello Stephen."

He looked up and smiled at me in return. "Greetings. I trust your lessons have finally gone well."

I nodded. "They have."

Stephen darted his eyes down at Mathilde. "Who this lovely young girl next to you?" He crouched down to her level. "What is your name, fair maiden?"

I looked down at Mathilde and noticed her pale face flush pink and her blue eyes staring at Stephen as if she was searching through his soul. She also looked as if she was struck dumb.

She cleared her throat. "I'm Mathilde of Boulogne, the Princess' cousin."

"And I am Stephen of Blois. What brings a fairy lady like you to King Henry's splendid Court?" Stephen inquired.

"I am here to stay for one whole month. I have come from Romsey Abbey under Mama's instructions. She wants me to learn about the King's Court as early and quickly as possible."

He extended his hand, to which she took politely. They begun walking right, and I followed behind. "You have said you are Matilda's cousin. Are you another granddaughter of William the Conqueror then?"

She shook her head. "No. I'm the niece of the Queen. My mother is her sister Mary."

"I'm a grandson of the Conqueror by my mother's side. I'm also her cousin."

"Wow! I must say you look very much like a prince!" Mathilde exclaimed. "I know Matilda's brother is the Prince of England, but I would have mistaken you for him."

Listening to their conversation at their backs, I felt very uncomfortable at ease.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A happy late Easter to all my readers! :)
> 
> OOOOOH! There seems to be some tensions going between Matilda and Mathilde (while Mathilde is completely unaware of it, of course)! And it looks like they will heighten now that Stephen has met the new guest!
> 
> Just to clear some things about the girls' differed educations, Mathilde was taught more and much earlier other specific subjects unlike her cousin. She is also a naturally fast learner and a brilliant listener, but is not considered a true prodigy here. While there is not much known about her actual education, she is said to have been taught at Romsey Abbey, where her mother and aunt were both taught at early childhood. Her mother Mary was sent to Romsey at the age of 4 while her aunt was sent at the age of 6. **Both were sent at the same time.** Even though Princess Matilda is older and was taught later, her cousin pays more attention to her lessons than she does. This does not make the Princess Matilda any less intelligent, because she actually is very intelligent, just that she has a habit of not following the rules. I also used their age differences to purposely parallel to their mothers' age differences. I hope that makes sense, even if it sounds rather confusing.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are 2 chapters posted in this update as a treat for you all. Enjoy! :)  
> (See the end of the next chapter for [more notes](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2723771/chapters/8504542#chapter_12_endnotes))

✥ **CHAPTER X**  ✥

* * *

I was sitting at the great hall for the evening supper. Stephen sat on his normal spot next to me, but he paid more attention to his conversation with Mathilde on his left. Robert was flanked to my other side, so I chatted with him to keep myself engrossed during the meal.

"What do you think about Mathilde?" I asked him, while staring at my two cousins.

"She is very pretty, I must say. And she seems very kind too," Robert replied while cutting his beef on his trencher. He glanced at Stephen and Mathilde. "Ah, typical Stephen. Always eager to meet someone new."

The two suddenly burst into high-spirited laughter, and King Henry and the Queen smiled down at them.

Robert chewed his piece of beef and swallowed. "Don't be dismayed or angry at him, Sister. Stephen has known you longer than her, and he will never replace you. He is just one of those people who likes to socialise with others, even though he does not have a like to Brian for some reason." He lifted my chin. "Yes, I know you are upset."

I shook myself free. "It is not that I am upset. I just... I have this odd, uncomfortable feeling watching them. I don't want to think evil of Mathilde because she is nothing like Elfrida."

"Of course she isn't. Elfrida was just mad. Do not worry about Mathilde and Stephen, Matti, because it will bring more harm than good."

I smiled warmly. "You are right, Robert. Thank you."

Robert turned to have a conversation with Brian next to him as I took a bite from my vegetables. Food was always great way to take my mind off of bad thoughts, so I attacked my beef with my fork. I gobbled the rest of the meal in moments and gulped the whole goblet of water down my throat. I turned and noticed my parents staring at me with narrowed eyes.

Stephen and Mathilde also were observing me with strange fascination.

"What is with you and food?" King Henry said slowly.

I merely shrugged. "I'm just hungry, Papa."

The meal somehow came to an end quickly, and I walked through the different passages of the castle to go upstairs to my chambers. As I was about to turn on the spiral stairwell, I heard footsteps approaching behind me.

"Matilda, wait."

I turned around and saw Stephen running towards me. He met his green eyes with my grey ones, and like an invisible thread I somehow found my feet descend to the bottom of the stone steps.

"I know you had felt left out at the meal, and I want to apologise for that," my cousin spoke. He sighed. "I know we also recently had forgiven to each other from what had happened days ago, but Mathilde came and I wanted to make herself feel comfortable upon her first arrival to Court." He took both of my hands. "She must find the court an exciting place to be at, so I had to convince her otherwise. But that does no mean I will replace you with her. You are still my main priority, and I know you better than Mathilde. I truly have no intention in destroying our deep friendship."

I listened to his words carefully and deeply. I looked around his eyes to find any hint of falseness but found none. Judging from his apology, explanation and how he said them, he did truly sound genuine. If he had not cared for me at all, he possibly would had never spoken with me in the first place.

"I forgive you, Stephen. You're my family and dearest friend after all," I said.

 **~** ✥ **~**

**LONDON**

**JUNE 7, 1109**

The next two years helped improve my friendship with Stephen better than ever after those two bitter incidents. Mathilde still came to Court to visit every few months, and Stephen would have a few chats with her and I would too. I would not call her a "friend" at those moments, but she and I would talk to each other respectfully.

Stephen still disliked Brian, but they knew better to not begin arguments or use frosty words.

We moved the Court for a time being in spring 1109 to the capital due to my father's political affairs. I was quite glad to meet with my younger brother William again.  
  
Then came the tenth anniversary of Stephen's birth. I awoke at dawn in my chambers at the Palace of Westminster and tip-toed from the bed to the door, carefully not stepping hard on the rushes of the floor to wake Aldyth. I walked quietly through the corridors and ascended the stone stairs to next floor where Stephen's chambers held. I pulled the latch of the door quietly to enter.  
  
He was still asleep on the large bed. I tip-toed towards him and I observed. I had actually never seen him in his sleep. The scarlet coverlet was pulled to his shoulders. He was snoring but softly. His arms were flung over his head, and his honey-blonde hair was dishelved from his movements over the night.  
  
I poked a finger on his forehead, and he did not stir. I tapped again to no avail. Sweet Marie, he was a deep sleeper. A mischievous grinned crossed my face, and I leaped on the bed hard.  
  
Stephen yelped and quickly sat up. He turned and sighed in relief when he discovered it was only me.  
  
"Matilda! That was very rude of you!" he said.  
  
"You must have realised today is the day of your birth," I reminded. "This is my surprise for you."  
  
"Yes, I knew that, but you did not need to do that!" Stephen pushed up the sleeves of his chemise.  
  
I gave him a tight embrace and slipped something upon his hand. He glanced down at it and widened in astonishment. The item was a silver brooch seemed to depict a man riding horseback on the horse. But what it actually was was a centaur, those half man, half horse creatures from the Greek mythology. The centaur was drawing an arrow in aim.  
  
"It is beautiful. Why do you give me this?" Stephen whispered.  
  
I shrugged. "I suppose you are a great hunter. Well, you are really. I asked a blacksmith to fashion this for you at the London markets yesterday."  
  
He looked speechless. "T-thank you, Matti. I will always treasure this."  
  
Later at the breakfast feast, the King and Queen, Robert, William and even Brian greeted Stephen of his anniversary. Like every year since the day he had first arrived at Court, Stephen was simply spoiled with gifts upon his birth day. However, since he had first reached the age of double digits, he was given more extravagance. Robert gave him his old sword, which was adorned with rubies. The Queen lent new exquisitely designed tunics. The King, however, asked servants to bring a five chests, each containing a thousand Pounds of coins. Thus, they all equally summed to five thousand Pounds.

It was no surprise to me Stephen would receive a huge sum of money. King Henry loved him after all.

"Thank you all very much for the wonderful gifts," Stephen said. "You did not need to spoil me so much today, but I truly appreciate it." He faced the servants. "And I thank you for your loyal assistance to your lords. Uncle, I would like to give the servants one bag of 10 silver coins each."

A servant's face blushed pink. "N-no, you don't need to give us that. We are here to honor and serve your needs, my lord."

"I insist." Stephen turned to the King in expectation.

"I am a King and a man who keeps his word, so I promise I will send the bags of coins to each of you," King Henry said firmly.

The servants bowed in respect. "Thank you, Sire!" all of them exclaimed.

"A compassionate move you did there," Brian walked forward and commented.

Stephen merely gave a cool smile.

The double doors of the great hall suddenly opened as two men walked inside. They strode to the dais and knelt in respect.

"Sire, we come from a long journey across the North Sea," one man spoke. His Norman French was accented, so certainly he was no Norman.

"We are envoys of His Imperial Highness, the Holy Roman Emperor," the other man spoke. His accent was not as strong as the other.

"Ah yes. I have expected you two." Lord Father turned his head towards me. "Daughter, please come with me."

I was confused but I followed behind obediently. I glanced at Stephen, my brothers and Brian. Their expressions also revealed ignorance. Mother, however, had a rather grim look. I was not certain of what I was to be involved with.

"So this is the Princess Matilda?" said the first man who had spoken upon his and his companion's arrival to the great hall. He looked down and observed me while walking. "She will grow up to be quite a woman. A lovely woman."

I blushed at his sudden comment. I heard the King chuckle. "I know she will," he said.

We walked through different passages of Westminster until we finally reached a room filled with a large number of men. They all stared at me and murmured to each other, which caused me to shiver ever so slightly. I gave a shy smile.

Lord Father took my hand and led me to a high chair beside me to sit upon. He sat on a grander chair and cleared his throat.

"We are gather here today in this council to seal an advantageous alliance with the greatest empire of Christendom."

I widened my eyes. This was the first time King Henry had invited me to attend of one of his political affairs. 

"This alliance will strengthen my legitimacy of bloodline to the throne as I am the youngest son of William the Conqueror," King Henry continued. "The Germans will also agree to assist us in our battles with the French. Two envoys have thus journeyed to our native land to conclude our negotiation of the alliance." He gestured with his chin at the two foreign men. "In agreement, I must betroth my only and eldest daughter to the Holy Roman Emperor."

"Sire, what does the word 'betroth' mean?" I asked obliviously.

"You are to be engaged to the Emperor, Daughter, so you will have to marry him when you are older at twelve years of age," the King replied. I nodded. "The Princess Matilda will leave to journey to Germany on her eighth birthday to prepare for her role as an Empress consort. In return of her engagement, I will send a dowry of ten thousand marks to the Emperor upon her later departure."

Leave England upon the day I turn eight years of age?! That was exactly seven months away! I felt myself sick at the thought of leaving home. There would be no more days of spending time with Cousin Stephen, watching Brian and Robert practice their martial skills and bearing with the occasional annoyance of little William. I probably would never see them again, along with Mama and Papa. Would Aldyth come along with me, or she would stay behind too?

"This concludes our council meeting. You are all dismissed," King Henry boomed. He turned to me, "You may go attend your lessons."

I picked my skirts up and ran. The men stepped back to lead way for me as I reached the door to open and leave. I slowed my run to a walk, and I thought more about the betrothal.

Why would the King agree to such a deal, especially send a small child, still enjoying the wonders of adventure and play, away to a land she not knows of? I knew I was going to marry some day, but I did not expect the plans to be thrust upon me so early. King Henry said I would marry when I turn twelve, so perhaps I could persuade him to delay my departure for more years.

I passed through the open great hall as William and Stephen shouted out my name. I gestured towards them to signal I would be busy and gave an I'll-tell-you-later look.

Upon arriving at the Westminster schoolroom, Archbishop Anselm congratulated me for my betrothal. I thanked politely, but that did not diminish my resentment towards my father.

A few hours later, I met with Stephen waiting outside the schoolroom door. I took his hand and we ran furiously, leading him through palace and descending upstairs into my chambers. I closed the door behind for privacy.

"The King is sending me away to Germany," I started in a bitter voice.

Stephen's face twisted in shock. "You're leaving?! Now?! Why?! What has gone to my uncle?!"

I explained to him about the political advantage my betrothal to the Holy Roman Emperor England could gain and my departure planned for my eighth birthday, also adding I had thought of stalling my leave for some time. Telling what truly happened at least managed to calm him done. 

"It is not impossible, Matti. You do know your father loves you and cares for your happiness," he said.

"If he truly had loved me, he would not agree to such a plan to sending me away so young," I muttered. "Stephen, you have to help me. Use that charm of yours to convince the King to change his mind. He loves you like a son."

"You know I would do anything for you, dear Cousin."


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the last few chapters, I've asked if you guys want a chapter with an occasional 3rd Person POV of Stephen, and so this chapter has it!

✥ **CHAPTER XI** ✥

* * *

Stephen stood behind the door of the king's quarters. He thought of his plan to help his cousin in convincing his uncle. Of course, he wanted her to stay so he can live with more adventures of the spirited Princess Matilda, but was it possible to change the Lion of Justice's mind?

From his lessons, he had learned every person born of high status and nobility would have to be betrothed or married to someone of a similar rank for political advantages. Eventually he would have to marry someone noble to earn some great titles. He knew it was for the greater good, and it would make him feel proud to be a great lord or count. In his cousin's case, her status would bump into a greater level. She would be an Empress, the highest female position to possess in the continent. He actually felt a small discomfort at the thought of that, a discomfort of a tinge of envy. Princess Matilda of England would later become more powerful than he would ever be.

But he truly cared for Matilda, more than he thought would. She was his first friend upon his arrival to King Henry's Court, the first person he had full trust upon. She was one he could talk easily with, no matter how wild the conversation could be. He could not remember what was the main reason why he was drawn to her in the first place, but all that mattered was his genuine concern for her.

If Matilda were to leave England seven months later, she would never see her homeland again, nor her family. Not even her dear cousin friend Stephen.

That was when he raised his fist to knock on the door of his uncle's quarters.

"Who treads behind the door?" the King's rigid voice demanded. "I am not available at this time."

"Your nephew. It's Stephen."

"Come in, come in!"

Stephen pulled the latch down to enter. He saw King Henry sitting at his desk, piled with parchments. His uncle, writing something down with his quill pen, looked up and his harsh face softened at the sight of him.

"Ah, Nephew," he said. "What brings you here? Is it about the birthday presents?"

Stephen shook his head. "No, no. Mind if I take a seat?"

"You always can to make yourself comfortable." The King gestured at a cushioned chair at the other side of the room. Stephen went to make himself at ease, and the King sat at a chair across him.

"I-I just want to ask your point of view, Sire," Stephen began. "Please excuse my curiosity."

"There is nothing wrong of being curious about anything."

"What is your belief in marriage?" he blurted out. That was not what he truly had intended to say.

The King narrowed his eyes. "Belief in marriage? Where did that thought come from?"

Stephen felt his palms sweating, and he folded them together upon his lap. "I just learned of political marriages in my lessons today. My tutor William has told me of how it gives advantages in creating friendships with other governments. I know you married your wife out of political advantage since she is of Saxon blood, but what do you think of marriage?"

A long silence flooded, and King Henry poured wine from a jug into a goblet. He drank it in one gulp. "I have been involved with many women in the past, Robert's mother included, but it is rare for any political marriage to be arranged perfectly into a love match. Let me tell you a secret, Nephew. I do care for the Queen in a certain degree, but I do not love her. Who I truly loved is gone now. I could not marry her because... because she died giving birth to Robert."

The King looked down to the floor while Stephen laid back on his seat, listening deeply to his words. He felt sorry for his uncle and for Robert. To Stephen's shock, in some some way, the King knew how he himself felt. A dear friend would be gone soon, all his happy memories with her would crumble into dust. And it was really unfortunate Robert never got to know his mother, despite the Queen was actually lucky to love him as one of her own.

"Love is a beautiful experience but in this world, we have to sacrifice," the King continued. "Royalty and nobility must be concerned over the lives of their people, not so much of themselves. We have limits in this kind of life and starting from our birth, we must be bred to responsibility."

Stephen stood. "So I am to be bred to political responsibility also? Like I am with my cousin Matilda?"

"You will play some parts in political affairs once you are old enough when you need to, though you are given more choices because you will mostly have to watch over your lands and serfs benefiting the economy of our kingdom. My daughter will have to marry the Holy Roman Emperor to maintain the peace of England, whether she likes it or not. It is for our own good, it is for the people's good. Would you want an army more powerful than ours to attack and savage about our lands?"

"Of course not, Sire. I do agree that the marriage is for the good of all of us."

"Stephen, come closer to me. Please." King Henry raised his hand in a gesture for his nephew to approach. He obeyed and knelt on his knees. "I know very well why you have come here. I know you have come to persuade me in changing my mind about Matilda's betrothal. I know you do not want her to leave, but she must. If I do not send her to Germany sooner, she may not adjust to her future position quickly enough. She has to absorb the culture and surroundings of the Holy Roman Empire for her to play the part as an intelligent Empress. And like I had stated earlier, the Holy Roman Emperor's fury would be thrust upon us with his powerful army if she does not go. You have to accept that you will never see her again."

Stephen nodded. "You have a very good point, Sire. I have not seen my homeland for years now, and I understand why my mother sent me here to prepare for my ambitions."

"You are a smart lad, Stephen. You can grasp upon concepts quickly," King Henry commented. "But you must accept what will happen. I will summon for Matilda to come to me, so I can explain everything. I do not want you to tell her what I've just told you, so you can start a rift with her. I know she is very stubborn, but she must not bring disgrace upon the House of Normandy." He poured more wine into his goblet and drank. "You may leave now if you so wish."

Stephen stood and bowed before he left and closed the quarters' door behind him. As he walked slowly through the hall, he felt very disappointed. In fact, he never had felt very disappointed in his life. He felt disappointed to himself in not fulfilling Matilda's request, but he knew she would hardly be upset at him since she mainly resented her father for planning to send her away.

As much as he truly did love the King, he could not deny he also felt a stab of resentment towards him too in sending his own daughter to a foreign land so young.

 **~** ✥ **~**

**WINDSOR**

**7 **FEBRUARY** 1110**

Today was Princess Matilda's birthday, but it was also the unfortunate day of her departure to the Holy Roman Empire. Matilda's foster mother, Aldyth, emerged from the entrance with her hand upon the princess'. Stephen, along with Prince William, Robert de Caen and Brian Fitz-Count, walked beside her. The Queen also came outside. It had taken an hour for his cousin to finally come outside because she had dared to hide in the castle, hoping the ambassador of Germany would leave without her. King Henry had to pacify her tears and tantrums by striking her face to gather her into her senses. He had to remind her again of her duty in not disgracing the House of Normandy.

"Look, Cousin," Stephen lifted his chin, "you got a whole lot of it."

Matilda followed his eyes. There were many sumpter horses leading carts carrying bolts of silk and wool, pelts of fox and ermine, jewels held in chests and ivory caskets. There were also many other litters holding Matilda's retinue: her ladies-in-waiting, servants and a few clergymen. Another cart carried a large wooden chest holding her dowry of ten thousand marks.

"All of that is mine to bring to the Empire?" Matilda whispered.

"It's your dowry, Daughter." The King appeared behind her. He stared down at her for a long time and reluctantly leaned down to kiss her head lightly. "Goodbye, Matilda. Play your part well." He turned away and left abruptly.

A loud cry escaped Prince William's mouth as he embraced Matilda from behind. "I'll miss you, big sister!" 

His sister squeezed his hand affectionately and shook him away. Her mother knelt and hugged her daughter tightly as she cried silently. She also placed a silver crucifix into her hand as she gave her her blessing. Matilda's half-brother Robert kissed her cheek, whispering "farewell." Brian extended his hand for Matilda to shake and expressed how saddened he was to see her leave. All of the goodbyes from her closest friends and family caused more distress for Matilda, and more tears fell from her cheeks.

All the boys returned to the castle, but Stephen stayed behind. Aldyth narrowed her eyes down at him, expecting him to go, but he held a finger to gesture to have one last moment with his dearest friend.

"I'll wait in the litter," Aldyth said. Matilda nodded in agreement.

Stephen placed his hands on her shoulders. "Y-you will be alright, Matti — I promise you that. Just try to be worthy of your heritage and be proud. Use that intelligence and knowledge you have. I know you can do it. You will be... a great Empress. G-good luck, Cousin."

Matilda grabbed him in a tight embrace and sobbed on his shoulder. "I will. Thank you for everything, Stephen." She impulsively kissed his cheek and walked proudly with squared shoulders and a high chin to the litter.

Her cousin watched someone help lift her into the litter as he touched the spot where she kissed his cheek. He turned to walk back into Windsor Castle's grounds while he wiped his tears to maintain his dignity among the people passing by. Stephen needed time to be alone, so he went to the courtyard where he and Matilda would always chat alone at. He sat on the stone bench and dropped his head on his hands. He had fully accepted he would never see his cousin again but now that it had happened, he never felt so empty in his life. Tears slowly fell from his eyes and quickly turned into agonising sobs. A terrible ache pounded his chest, and he gasped between his weeps.

A few moments later, Stephen heard footsteps approaching behind. Fearing someone would see him in a weak state, he rubbed his face before facing whoever was there.

To his dismay, it was Brian.

"Go away," Stephen muttered.

"No, I need to talk to you. And I am not here to start an argument." Brian locked his cool dark blue eyes to Stephen. "Please."

A long silence filled about. Then Stephen reluctantly nodded, and Brian sat next to him on the stone bench.

"I know you truly care for your cousin, Stephen. I care for her too but I shall be honest here; she _always_ had talked about you to me," Brian said. "She would not even shut her mouth about how engaging in spending and the delightful fun times both of you had. She always goes in detail in her stories of you."

Stephen blinked upon listening to Brian's words. Was he even serious? Brian shot him a severe look.

"I am not jesting, Stephen. That was the only reason why I never argued with you or dared to provoke you. I trusted you were actually the charming, outgoing, tender boy she knows you of. In fact, I never disliked you anyhow." Brian then sighed. "Whatever I have done to displease you upon our first meeting, I apologise for it."

Stephen looked away and his eyes fell on the ground. "I'm very sorry, Brian... for treating you badly ever since we had met in the Windsor forests. I had thought of you as a threat to my plans for my future and a replacement to whoever would be Matilda's dearest friend. In fact, it was a very ridiculous excuse to dislike someone for those wild thoughts."

Brian placed a hand on Stephen's shoulder. "It is natural for us to feel a twinge of jealousy in those situations, so it is not ridiculous. We always want to be the better, do we not?" He smiled when the honey-blonde boy nodded. "And I don't think Matilda will ever forget about us. She cares too much of us to forget. The memories we all had with her are important to her, and important happy memories do not diminish as we grow older. She may grow content in her life as an Empress eventually, but there will be bittersweet times she would smile upon those memories."

Stephen lifted his head to look at Brian. "I never had thought you are so wise, Brian. But you are very right. She won't forget any of us."

"And you'll be alright yourself too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter concludes part 1 of _Blut ist dicker als Wasser!_
> 
> I have a several things to refer about the 2 newest chapters and of this part of the fic:
> 
>  **1.)** In the last chapter, I know most of you expected major drama among Matilda, Stephen and Mathilde. Originally, I was going to make Matilda scheme with Brian to make Stephen jealous at the same time and to get even, but I eventually dropped that since I didn't want anymore conflict to happen between them — especially so quickly after they had forgiven each other.
> 
>  **2.)** No one knows when Stephen of Blois was exactly born. In this fic, I chose June 7, 1099 as his birth date.
> 
>  **3.)** The centaur pin is inspired from the coat of arms of King Stephen during his reign. Picture here: <http://www.englishmonarchs.co.uk/images/various2/stphn5.jpg>
> 
> **4.)** In this fic-verse, Robert's mother died from childbirth and King Henry always had raised him in his Court. There is not much known of Robert's mother in history, so I've used my own creativity to add a bit of his back-story. And as much as I do ship Henry I/Matilda (Edith of Scotland), I'm sorry to say I had to write Henry not actually love his wife here for the sake of this story. :$ I actually have had an idea of writing a modern AU fic of that pairing, but never got the time to start it yet.
> 
>  **5.)** You probably may have thought why I wrote 10 chapters of part 1 that tells of the childhood of Matilda and Stephen, along with other main characters like Robert, Brian and Mathilde. I have a few reasons why I've done so instead of showing beginning the story of them as adults: 1.) I wanted to give very major character development to the 2 protagonists, 2.) I've always wanted to write of them as kids, because not so much is known about their childhood, 3.) You can see how they will very gradually fall in love until the time they reunite in adulthood.
> 
> Now I don't know when I'll upload the prologue and/or 1st chapter of part 2, so please do not ask when it will be posted. It all depends on the motivation, inspiration and time I get while I have to juggle through social life, online life, school, laziness and other hobbies. I really have enjoyed writing this fic so far despite finding it difficult to write, and I thank you all for the lovely comments and kudos. :) ♥


	13. Chapter 13

✥ **PART II** ✥

✥ **CHAPTER XII**  ✥

**APRIL 1110**

**LIÈGE, LORRAINE**

* * *

The journey to Germany was melancholy. I got seasick while sailing through the English Channel to Normandy, and I had fears of the ship possibly submerging something like a rock. I was very exhausted upon crossing through regions like Flanders. It was my first long-term journey, so I did not enjoy it at all.

I did not arrive in the Empire until April. My retinue arrived in the city of Liège, and I was told this was where the Emperor would meet me. Unfortunately, he was not there, and I was lead to my appointed chambers in the palace. I then noticed the absence of Aldyth, but I assumed she was preparing to bring my belongings inside my chamber.

My first impression of my new home was not exciting. Many of the people surrounding were dressed in somber colours, and they had severe expressions plastered upon their faces. When I attempted to speak to them, they replied in a language I could not understand. For dinner, I was given a chunk of black bread and warm milk. I frowned at the choice of the meal as it was not fit for a royal princess. Then I was tucked in bed by a rather frightening woman who frequently glared at me.

Aldyth still did not return, so I began to fret. I stayed awake for about an hour in the darkness, waiting for the door to open revealing her. She did not come, and in the despair of my loneliness and my homesickness, I cried myself to sleep.

I awoke the next morning and there was still no sign of her. My worries transformed into fear, and I hid myself under the coverlet, whispering to myself wishing I was back in England. The door opened about an hour later, and the same woman who tucked me in last night appeared to dress me. Afterwards, she lead me to my breakfast. I saw the Emperor's ambassador upon arriving, and I was greatly relieved he could speak my language.

"Where is everyone?" I asked.

"Gone," he replied. "The Emperor has dismissed them to return to England."

My retinue left me alone in this strange land? How could the Emperor do that?!

"W-why?" I blinked my eyes repeatedly to prevent tears falling.

The Graf von Hannstein sighed. "He believes you will adjust quickly to your new home if you are not constantly reminded of England."

I tugged on his tunic. "Can you summon Aldyth back? Please. She's my foster mother."

"I'm sorry, but I cannot. You must eat to maintain your strength." He was about to turn to leave my presence until I impulsively clung to his leg.

"Take me home! I want to be with Aldyth and my mother!" I cried. "I don't want to be an Empress!"

" _Prinzessin_ , get a hold of yourself!" He tried to pry me off, but I clung tighter. The tears now were falling onto the floor, and they soaked somewhat onto his hose. The frightening woman who had dressed me walked towards me and tried to pull me off him as I continued to sob.

"Are you hungry?" the Graf asked. "The food will make you feel better. The Emperor is arriving today from Mainz, so you must not be in a sorry state."

I wiped my tears with my sleeve and lifted my chin defiantly at him. "I will not eat until I have Aldyth back."

The Graf looked at the woman expectedly, and she grabbed my shoulders in attempt of sitting me down on the embroidered stool. I stubbornly refused as I stepped on her foot to free myself. She cried out in pain and I sprinted towards the door. I was lucky to escape from the chamber, and I ran across the passage and sped down the flights of stairs. I looked about to find if Aldyth was still in the palace, and with no sign of her, I dashed through a hall that led to the entrance of the palace. People in the background spotted my presence, but I did not care.

I realised I was now in the courtyard, and to my dismay, the gates were closed and surrounded by guards. I decided perhaps there was another exit in the back where the walls surrounding the palace were. There were vines and thickets blocking the ground, so I pushed them aside upon walking. For the next several moments, I explored the area in search of the possible existence of the exit. As there was no visible door anywhere, I laid my hands on the stones of the wall in thinking the second exit is hidden. None of them were movable.

Was Aldyth far away from where I was now? Was she possibly away from the Empire's territory?

I leaned on the stone wall and sunk to the ground. I wrapped my arms around my knees to cry again.

Stephen suddenly crossed in my mind, and I wondered how was he doing. Was he still the favoured nephew of my father? Did he and Brian now fight openly now I was gone from home? Does he still miss me or remember me? I hoped he was not lonely. I was probably more lonely than he was at this moment.

The King probably hardly missed me anyhow; he sent me to this strange land after all. And he also chose to send me here. Ever since the announcement of my betrothal to the Empire, I lost my respect for him. I even found myself very near to hating him.

Why, he was the only one who did not care of my leave either.

I heard a loud growl, and it took me a moment to realise it was coming from my stomach. I sighed and wished I should had eaten the bread from upstairs. I supposed I should return to the courtyard and wait until the gates open to allow me to sneak away, then perhaps I could try stealing food from the markets upon my search for Aldyth and my entourage.

I stood on my feet to walk back to the courtyard. I peeked from the side of the palace wall to check if anyone is entering the palace property, and to my luck a litter was about to enter. I noticed there were carts and large boxes near the gates. If I were to run and hide behind those upon sneaking to the gates, no one would notice me. I bent down to sprint quickly behind the carts and boxes towards the gates.

The entering litter came to a sudden halt. I was very near the exit until the call of demand for the litter to stop distracted me into tripping on myself. I laid on the dirt ground breathless, and as I stared upwards, I found myself facing a rather tall man. The stranger was wearing a cap set with pearls on his long mousy brown hair. He was wearing a richly embroidered blue mantle lined with white ermine over his dark blue tunic. His dark, rigid eyes stared down on mine with intense curiosity... and amusement? His face looked young despite his austere expression.

This must be the Emperor!

A smile crossed the man's lips. He began to speak in the same language of that woman who had dressed me earlier, but I impulsively interrupted in my own language that I could not understand him. Despite what I did was quite impertinent, he nodded understandably.

"You are far from home, are you not, _mein Kind_?" he then said in a heavily accented Norman French.

The mention of the word _home_ from his lips was like a stab to my body. I felt the tears emerge again. Holy Mother, this had to stop.

"There is no shame in crying, _mein Liebling_. As long as you do not make it a habit." He paused briefly. "You are the little _Prinzessin_ Matilda _von_ England, correct?"

I nodded slowly. "How... did you recognise me?"

"Ah, my envoys had told me a description of your appearance." He ruffled the end strands of my russet hair. "You seem to be very spirited for a redhead. Tell me, what brings you to lurk around by yourself here? You should be acquainted with an older figure in this place unknown to you."

His voice was surprisingly gentle, and I found myself telling the entire story of my horrible experience upon arriving to the city, including my feelings of loneliness. The Emperor seemed to listen to my words thoughtfully. "... And I hoped to find Aldyth. I won't stay in a place where everyone treats me so badly, especially for a granddaughter of William the Conqueror."

He nodded again. "I'm impressed. A girl full of pride, determination and strong will. I admire you, Liebling. You're attitude is very fit for a consort for an Emperor."

I blushed at his compliment.

"We should go inside now." He outstretched his hand in request for me to take. I stared at his hand for a moment and reluctantly took it. We both walked inside the large double doors of the palace silently, passed by different corridors and entered the great hall.

"Have you eaten yet?" the Emperor asked. I shook my head in response, and he lead me to the high table. I sat in a large chair at his left.

"I thank you for the kindness, err..." I began, then realising I never knew his name. What should I refer him to? Your Grace?

"Heinrich. My name is Heinrich. German for Henry, so I hope the familiarity will help you feel at least a little at home."

"Thank you... Heinrich."

A short while later, a servant brought a platter of bread with a cup of milk and broth for me to eat. Eagerly, I munched on a large bite of the bread.

"About your foster mother, we could make a deal," the Emperor said. "In one condition, if you really desire for your Aldyth to stay with you, my future bride must learn basic German in four months. If you fail, she must return to England. The rest of your entourage must still go in order for you to adjust to your new surroundings."

I swallowed my food and thought about the deal. Basic German in four months? If I could learn Latin quickly back home, then this may not be so bad after all. And Mother also had taught me some Saxon.

"Sounds like a fair deal, Heinrich. I accept."

I must make the House of Normandy proud while it stands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUESS WHO'S BACK?!
> 
> I'm mostly unsure how part 2 will most go along since I don't want to focus too much on Matilda's life in the Holy Roman Emperor. I really do want to get to the main point of the story where she and Stephen finally fall in love though. But you'll see! The next chapter will focus on Stephen after his cousin's departure.


	14. Chapter 14

✥ **CHAPTER XIII**  ✥

**NOVEMBER 1120**

**BARFLEUR, NORMANDY**

* * *

Stephen stood at the edge of the docks, watching his cousin Prince William conversing with his companion, including Richard of Lincoln and Mahaut, the Countess of Perche. The two were another of King Henry's large span of royal bastards, and they were invited to board _La Blanche-Nef_  with their half brother.

 _La Blanche-Nef_ was a vessel owned by Thomas FitzStephen. Thomas offered Stephen's uncle to ride when he returns to England, but King Henry had other plans and arrangements so he suggested his only legitimate son to perhaps ride on it instead. Prince William had become Regent in England after Queen Matilda died two years earlier, so he had his own responsibilities to deal with there. He agreed to the suggestion and invited a large retinue of the royal court to aboard the vessel, including Stephen. Stephen himself also had his own duties in England after he was bequeathed the Honour of Eye seven years ago.

"A beautiful ship, is it?" Whirling about, he came face to face with Brian, now Lord of Wallingford upon his marriage to Miles Crispin's widow. He stood next to him to stare at the large vessel with awe.

Despite their initial hostility, Brian miraculously grew to be a very dear friend of Stephen after Princess Matilda's departure ten years earlier. It was luck for Stephen to realise Brian was a forgiving person who gave second chances, and he eventually learnt to not judge others and first impressions very easily. This benefited him more to growing more popular among his peers. There was an occasional event where he would ponder his bittersweet memories with his enthusiastic little cousin. She married to the Emperor four years after she left, and he prayed at least once a month for her, hoping she was faring well in the Empire. Despite he was fully convinced they would never see each other again, a wishful thinking and form of hope laid in his heart she would visit England some day.

He and Brian, along with Robert and Prince William, became a very close knit group who hardly separated from each other except on times of responsibility and being with their wives. While both Stephen and Robert had grown more powerful over the years, the Prince did not feel threatened by their power. In the end, everyone knew William would still be the most important and authoritative as heir to England and Duke of Normandy. Out of the four, Stephen remained the only one unmarried. A year ago previously, Robert married to Mabel FitzHamon, the wealthy daughter of the late Lord of Gloucester, and William married the Count of Anjou's eldest daughter to seal peace an alliance between the Angevins. Stephen knew he would marry some day, but he felt very relieved he was not at the moment.

"Indeed," Stephen replied. "It is supposed to be the most modern ship out of Europe. I wager not even the French King Louis would compete with outranking it." He paused. "It must be the most wondrous vessel I have ever laid my eyes on."

"And it's supposed to be the fastest. It shall only take two days until you all land upon Dover," Brian added. He decided to not join with Stephen and William planning to aboard as he had to stay in Normandy on the King's orders.

Stephen glanced at Thomas FitzStephen, who was now approaching to join the Prince's group discussion. "I daresay you're correct."

"Everyone," Prince William began shouting. He stood on a large box to stand out. The crowds and barons caught the attention of his voice to listen, "I would like to thank Thomas FitzStephen for the presentation of _La Blanche-Nef_. Is it not a beaut? Tell me you think so!"

There were cheers of agreement.

"FitzStephen is the son of Stephen FitzAirard — you all must have heard of him, yes?" Many nodded in approval. "Good. His father was captain of the _Mora_ , the ship my grandfather had used to land in England more than fifty years ago. We shall relive history with sailing on the most modern European fleet. We must celebrate for this event and thank FitzStephen for commissioning it."

Everyone roared praises for Thomas, chanting his name.

"Serve us all some wine!" William exclaimed. Moments later, several people brought boxes of bottles of wine and many took one each. Feeling thirsty, Stephen took a bottle and sipped on Norman cider. It tasted bitter, but he was not very selective of what to eat or drink. He spotted his cousin laughing gaudily as he poured his cider straight down into his throat. Stephen dreaded for him, as the Prince was notorious in falling in a drunken state quickly and when so, he commits into doing the most bizarre acts. To many, seeing William in such a state was hilarious, but Stephen would naturally be worried for him.

"I pray he does not shame himself in front of all these people" Brian commented, watching the scene. "Do you remember what had happened the last time he drank?"

Stephen chuckled nervously. "We had to search him about Rouen in the dark practically the entire night after he stripped himself naked in a local inn. And he only had finished one glass! Robert was lucky to discover him before dawn!"

"I wonder why he cannot take caution on his habits. The King himself can, and when the King is drunk, he is not mad like his own son."

"My uncle seems completely oblivious to William's drunken state. I shudder to think of his reaction if he ever discovers it." Stephen gave a mock shudder.

As the hours flew, the party grew wilder. Much of the crew became so drunk, including Thomas FitzStephen himself. To his relief, Stephen never saw William disgrace himself in public with nakedness throughout the event. He hoped he would grow sober soon.

It was already dark and very chilly when it was time to board _La Blanche-Nef_. Suddenly, Stephen felt a strange feeling about his body as the passengers boarded. For whatever reason, he abruptly had the urge to prevent his cousin board the vessel, so he ran to block his entrance. Prince William was stumbling, so he was still tipsy.

"Why are you in my way, Stephen?" William slurred.

"I cannot let you on this ship! Something is giving me a message stating you shouldn't board!" Stephen exclaimed. At least his cousin was aware of his surroundings.

"You sound demented. Are you possessed?" William proceeded to give an obnoxious laugh and fell forward on Stephen, to whom he held tightly.

"William, this is no time to jest! Now listen to me. William?" Stephen smacked the back of William's head as he began to dose off.

"Sorry, I am listening. What?" William hiccuped.

"I can feel a danger if I board this ship, and I want you to get off. Get your half siblings off too, and I also shall get my sister to leave."

Stephen's younger sister Mahaut was also invited to join with the crew. She had become apart of King Henry's court several years earlier and eventually married to Earl Richard of Chester. While she and her brother were never close even before Stephen had joined his uncle's court at the age of eight, he wanted to protect his family.

"My lords? Sire? We are leaving soon." It was FitzStephen. The good news he seemed to be in his right mind.

"Prince William is not boarding!" Stephen shouted.

FitzStephen widened his eyes. "What do you mean he is not boarding? Did he say so?"

"I am still boarding, Stephen, there is nothing to worry about!" William snapped, now sounding deliberate. " _La Blanche-Nef_  is a fast ship, and the waters are still for the night. God shall spare us from an accident, I promise you!" He sighed. "If anything were to happen to me, then you must be King, yes? But I will be fine!"

Stephen still was not entirely convinced. "I-I cannot board this ship. I have a queer feeling and I do not feel well, so FitzStephen, please excuse me. I know it is the last moment, but I cannot stay."

FitzStephen sighed. "If you say so. Many had actually changed their mind last minute out of concern of the overcrowding. But I promise you by the Saints he will land safely in Dover. You may leave."

"Stephen, whether you like it or not, I am still boarding this ship. I have a duty as Regent in England," William said obstinately.

"I shall see you perhaps in the next two weeks with the King then," Stephen replied reluctantly. He gave a quick affectionate pat on William's shoulder as a gesture to say goodbye, and turned to return to walk down the bridge to the docks.

Some time later when it looked all the intended passengers were aboard, the vessel proceeded to sail. He watched it leave and pondered in deep thought. Glancing at the waters, William was right they were calm. And staring towards the heavens, there was a clear sky revealing twinkling stars. The moon was even shining at the horizon. Definitely no signs of a possible storm approaching. Logically, it did make sense why William was too stubborn to change his mind. And he was a Regent of England for Christ's sake! He was needed by the English while his father will stay in Normandy longer!

He gave a silent but quick prayer for  _La Blanche-Nef_ 'ssafe journey.

 **~** ✥ **~**

Stephen rode through the nearly silent streets of Blosville, searching a specific building. It was late, yes, but he decided he had an important visit to attend. Luckily for him, whom he would visit did not live far from Barfleur.

It did not take long until he found the building. He dismounted his horse, tethering it on a wooden post, and walked towards the wooden door and knocked gently. A few moments later the door revealed a young slim woman who immediately smiled up to him.

"Stephen! It has been a while! I thought you were going to _Angleterre_!" The woman gave him a tight embrace, to which he returned. "Come, come. You must be freezing."

He entered the house, which was rather small but cosy. He sat on a wooden stool near a circular table, and the woman sat at the opposite side.

"How are Gervase and Ralph faring?" Stephen inquired.

"They are doing well. Gervase is being taught at the local monastery and he is already learning how to read and write Latin. He loves learning. Ralph will be going in a year to join his brother for schooling, and he is seems eager to learn also." She smiled warmly at him. "They miss you."

"I know they do, Damette, and I do love them. With all my heart. They are my own flesh and blood." Stephen took her hand gently and gave it a gentle squeeze.

Damette was a daughter of a furrier, but she was orphaned at the age of twelve after her parents died of fever. She took upon the business immediately to earn her way in life, and she sold her furs at market stall in front of her home. Stephen had first met her when he was sixteen. She was about a year older than he. They both had met when he accidentally bumped into her while he was searching for a nearby inn to stay for the night during his journey from Rouen to his lands in Mortain. Smitten by her beauty, he used his natural charm to have a casual conversation with her. As he proceeded in delving her stories and persona, he found himself feeling the familiar positive feelings he once had when he had spent time with his cousin Matilda as a child. And he eventually noticed similarities between both females. She had reddish hair like hers, except it was darker in a chestnut colour. Her eyes were grey like hers too but tinted with green. Damette seemed to have a form of enthusiasm more or less similar to Matilda's, and she was eager to hear some of his stories. Even after ending the conversation by asking for directions to the nearest inn, he could not deny it had been a long time since he had felt such delight.

Weeks later, he willingly decided to return to Blosville just to see Damette. As he grew closer to her, eventually his lust had began kicking in. Damette was quite easy to seduce. She was not the first woman to have carnal relations with, but she did satisfy his lusts every now and then.

Despite she would remind him of his cousin, he did acknowledge later in truth, he never felt completely fulfilled nor happy around her. He could not pinpoint what and why exactly, but perhaps it was because he did not love her. He never missed her much nor felt heartache when she was not in his presence. He was aware he was mostly using her for quenching his thirst, but he was content she did make him happier than most days and was understanding.

It was not long until Gervase was conceived. Gervase was simply a miniature of Stephen, but his personality was his mother's. Ralph was about a year younger than his brother, and he had his mother's hair and his father's eyes. He significant personality trait inherited was Stephen's charm. Despite not seeing their father frequently, both bastard sons doted on him dearly, and Stephen would at least attempt to visit them twice a month unless he had business in England. 

"I will tell you why I am not on a ship to England," Stephen said to Damette, "but will you come to bed tonight?"

Damette nodded in consent. "Quietly. Don't wake the boys."

 **~** ✥ **~**

"You may kill my curiosity now, _chéri._ I am interested to hear why you left the ship," Damette said, lying her head on Stephen's chest in the aftermath of lovemaking.

He sighed. "Have you ever had a strange feeling tugging around your body signaling you take action? It gives you a silent warning, yet it is loud at the same time. You feel you have to react to it, and sometimes you hear a tiny voice behind your head, giving advice."

Damette thought about his words for a moment. "Ah yes. You are talking of your gut feeling and your instincts. Yes, I have had felt those familiar feelings before."

Stephen stroke her hair gently. "So you do know. When I was beginning to board  _La Blanche-Nef_ ,I suddenly had felt my instincts signaling me a warning to not get on the ship. I had the sudden urge to take my cousin Prince William, his bastard half siblings and my own little sister off the ship."

"Which siblings were aboard the ship?"

"Richard of Lincoln and Countess Mahaut of Perche. Before everyone was boarding, everyone was partying and celebrating until dark. Many were flown with wine, including my cousin. Perhaps that is why I had feared for the safety of the ship. I tried talking to Prince William so he would not board, but he stubbornly refused so. He told me the waters were calm and reminded the ship is fast, so they would reach England alright. But I insisted to him and the captain I still did not feel comfortable to ride, and he also reminded me of his duty as Regent in England. It is understandable because he cannot be absent for too long." Stephen paused. "I had taken the time to ponder over his words, and I thought they were simply sensible."

"It does make sense. But are your gut feelings usually right, my lord?" Damette asked.

"As far as I can remember, yes," Stephen replied. "But I feel troubled for what I did and letting William committing his stubborn decision. You know well I don't enjoy forcing my will too far."

"You had said most of the crew was mostly drunk, yes? Let us ignore the logical part of this because, that gut feeling you had was truly right, my lord, because they are never wrong. Drunk people tend to do the most foolish mistakes.  _Chéri_ , they are doomed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finished at 2:40 AM in the morning, whoop!
> 
> I skipped to 10 years later because the _White Ship_ is a major incident and event, especially since it questioned who would wear the English crown after King Henry's death. And you know it was often thought Stephen would succeed him.
> 
> Instead of using _White Ship_ for the name of the vessel Prince William died with, I decided to use the French translation. And poor Willie! Stephen's sisters and half cousins also die too! :(
> 
> Please don't be upset that I portrayed Stephen having a mistress before falling in love with his cousin. It is historical fact he had at least 3 acknowledged illegitimate children by a woman named Damette.
> 
> Blosville is a real town not far from Barfleur in present-day the Lower Normandy region.
> 
> If I remember from the novel _The Pillars of the Earth_ , which takes place in Stephen and Matilda's civil war, one of the main female characters Aliena becomes a wool merchant to support herself and her brother financially after their father, the fictional Earl of Shiring, loses his fortune while imprisoned for supporting Matilda. So I decided to use it for some basis for Damette and changing it up a bit while retaining the sole female ownership idea in a financial business. There is nothing known about Damette in history other than her name, so her character here is a product of my imagination.
> 
> Next chapter will skip to Matilda's POV upon hearing the news of her little brother's death.


	15. Chapter 15

✥ **CHAPTER XIV**  ✥

**DECEMBER 1120**

**LIÈGE, LORRAINE**

* * *

I sat at the palace library, flipping through the pages of a mathematics book. It was written in Latin, which I now understood and could speak fluently. Over the last ten years inhabiting the Holy Roman Empire, I had learnt quite a variety of knowledge. I studied law, philosophy and history too. And I was taught German, some Italian and basic Greek and Arabic. The Emperor believed it was best for a consort to be very proficient in many subjects, and I was very eager to commit. I even learnt how to play chess!

How very interesting where I was now was the exact place I had come upon my first arrival in the Empire. After the betrothal ceremony, I was placed in custody of Archbishop Bruno of Trier. We would converse in basic German twice a week while he taught me the language. About the deal I had agreed with the Emperor when I had first met him, Aldyth returned to be my nurse, but I was very determined for her to remain. I even had advanced myself with the language by borrowing some books from the library about the German language and studied during my bedtime in the candlelight. It was not long until I began to earn a habit of speaking in German with other peers, along with thinking. In addition to learning the language, Archbishop Bruno had taught me the culture, manners and the government of the Empire.

Four months later, I was summoned by Heinrich to have a simple, casual conversation in German. I was nervous of the possibility of committing foolish mistakes. Before I was allowed to enter when fully ready, I was suddenly thinking and muttering to myself in Norman French, but Aldyth reassured me I would do fantastic as I grew a habit of conversing her in the other language too. I had discussed with Heinrich for a half hour in the simplest German, telling about myself, asking him questions and answering to his questions while showing me objects. I answered to all his questions quickly, and towards the end, I proceeded to speak in an advanced manner. He was actually very impressed at my skill, and was relieved he could not speak more freely and easily to me. I still had much to learn, however, but now I had grown to be a fluent German speaker.

With Aldyth permanently staying by my side, I had told her I would appoint her my chief woman attendant after I married. It was not another four years later when my marriage with Heinrich took place as my father had promised. Before the ceremony, I was fearful that after the marriage, I would be doomed to the life of weaving tapestries, managing, servants and childbearing. In truth, I always had found that lifestyle rather dull. I enjoyed adventures and new discoveries. But thankfully, hardly anything changed.

The library door opened, and I lifted my head to see my husband standing against the door frame. He smiled at me affectionately, which I returned. "What is the book you are reading, _Liebling_?" he asked.

"Mathematics and writings by a Greek philosopher named Pythagoras. I'm much interested in his concept called the Pythagoras theorem," I replied. I suddenly felt warm arms enveloping on my shoulders. I looked up towards him, and he gave me a simple kiss on the lips. 

"My little Empress can never just satisfy her hunger for books," he teased.

"Nor can you!" I giggled in return.

"But I never have time for them anymore because of my fighting with the Pope and the Controversy! And he excommunicated me."

"At least I've got to see you again after my regency in Italy."

Heinrich squeezed my shoulder. "I am proud of you, _mein Liebe_."

It was initially odd thinking he was my husband now instead of a mere mentor, but I grew accustomed to it. His natural grave features made him look somewhat older when he was only twelve years my senior. Heinrich doted on me affectionately while I admired him greatly, but he was unlike most men. He did not seem to have any interest on the matters of flesh or anything carnal. When I married him, he firmly stated he would not consummate the marriage until I reached sixteen. The night of the consummation was actually very peculiar; he had dressed in his heavy woolen nightshirt he wore all year long, and there was a torn hole placed at the area where his member was located. When he mounted to enter me, he had blown all the candles so I could not see anything. The next I knew, I felt a spasm of pain. The consummation had ended so quickly I could not comprehend what had happened.

Ever since that night, rarely would he ever exercise his conjugal duties. Whilst it was no issue for me, I concluded he acted differently from most others in favour of his role as a major religious leader. I was quite satisfied he did not look towards me mainly for my physical features, hearing him say many times my mind and attitude fascinated him the most.

About my Regency in Italy, two years ago, Heinrich had to suppress rebellions in Germany so he had given me the responsibility of governing in his absence. I was enthusiastic upon hearing, especially I had always wanted to prove myself with my skills. After all, I did not want to use my hard work of learning for nothing.

Of course, it was not easy managing a government. There were occasional pressures and difficulties I had to face. And while I was generally respected and liked (I was referred to by the public as "Matilda the Good"), I knew not everyone approved of my position and my accomplishments. I had heard gossip and intrigue among the Imperial court, whispers of criticism over my "unwomanly" activities. It was a woman's main task to raise children, but I did not necessarily agree with it fully. I did not care for their scandalous chitchat, what only mattered was committing to my duty as long as my husband approved of me.

A steward suddenly appeared in the library while my husband and I were enjoying our solitary of peace. "Yes?" Heinrich inquired him.

"Your Imperial Highnesses, there are visitors and are inquiring the both of you to have an audience with them," the steward replied.

" _Danke_." Heinrich walked towards the door and waved a hand off shoulder. "Come, Matilda. I wonder what this is about."

"Sweet Marie, I hope it is not any more rebellions," I replied.

I followed him through several antechambers with the steward leading us. When we reached the main part of the chamber, there were two men with grim expressions plastered upon my faces. They bowed as we entered. As I proceeded to sit on a cushioned stool with my husband on a wooden armchair next to me, I noticed one of the men, a young man with wild curly brown hair, had his mouth dropped open while staring towards me. His widened brown eyes flickered back and forth from my face to my chest. I knew exactly what he was doing and felt myself flush in embarrassment at his observation.

When I had turned thirteen, I noticed boys and men peering at me. More than a common person would. At first, I thought it was because I was becoming more acknowledged as an Empress, then Aldyth told me I was blossoming into a young woman. I was instantly reminded of the several times in my past when some barons and my father would compliment I would grow to be a very lovely woman. There were some men, especially those who were Italian and Roman, who had the audacity to comment about my appearance, and I sometimes would wonder if I was truly beautiful. There were times I would observe myself through a mirror and feel uncertain. Regardless, I would feel flustered when it came to males staring around me.

"Greetings, is the news urgent?" my husband asked.

The young man's companion, a middle-aged Benedictine abbot, stepped forward. "My name is Abbot Peter, and I am from the See of London. And my traveling companion is Count Auberi of Erveux from Normandy." He gestured towards the young man.

Visitors from my homeland? Did something happen at England or Normandy?

"This news is for my wife, yes?" The men nodded at the Emperor. "Go on."

They turned towards me. "Your younger brother, Prince William, was drowned in the channel last month," the abbot spoke gravely.

My brother?! William?! Dead?! I could not believe what I was hearing, and I felt myself stiffen my frame on the stool, my mouth open in horror.

"W-what happened?" I stammered.

"A boating accident, Domina," the Count Auberi replied. "We assume not after departing Normandy to England, the ship submerged a rock. Only a butcher from Rouen and Geoffrey de l'Aigle survived.

"Thomas FitzStephen had a vessel called _La Blanche-Nef._ He was the son of Stephen FitzAirard, the man who captained your grandfather's ship _Mora_ on his journey of conquest. He had offered the ship to your father but he had other arrangements, so he suggested your brother to board it. Prince William had invited more than three hundred people to come along with him. Those who attended the celebration of _La Blanche-Nef_ but did not disembark with the ship departure recall many, including your brother, were flown with wine. We suggest alcohol was involved with the tragedy."

Still stunned by the news, I knew I felt saddened inside my dear brother was gone. Despite I was never close to him since we had long separations, we did truly care for each other. Memories of William nagging me with his obnoxious loud voice and playfulness flashed through my head. Before I knew it, my eyes moistened and I quickly fought the tears back, at last signing myself.

"May God assoil him. He was a beloved brother," I said in a choked voice while signing myself. "What will happen to the English throne and Duchy of Normandy? William was his heir."

"I imagine all of Europe is asking that very same question," the Abbot said. "Most unfortunate that your brother was King Henry's legitimate child."

"Except my wife, of course," Heinrich interjected.

The Abbot and Count Auberi stared at him with a look mixed with surprise and disinterest.

"Who will inherit?" I mused. "Definitely not my half brother Robert. He is a bastard and the Holy Church would never accept him as king."

"Lord Gloucester has qualities that deem to be a decent ideal candidate. If only he were legitimate." The Abbot darted his gaze towards the chamber window.

"But surely there are other candidates mentioned, yes?" Heinrich inquired.

"We can only speculate," Count Auberi responded. "There is Count Theobald of Blois as he is the King's nephew by his older sister. And there is also Theobald's younger brother Stephen, the Count of Mortain. He is mentioned most frequently."

Stephen. It had been quite some time since I had last thought of him. I wondered how he was faring now, and in truth I still missed having the fun and making joyful memories with him. But Stephen had his place at home while I had mine here.

_"Having the power to do whatever you want and be rich, it would nice to be a king too. Perhaps I could conquer land like our grandfather did to be a king."_

What a dream that may possibly come true. He must be ecstatic at the idea now.

"The people adore Stephen," the Count continued. "According to many others and myself, he is a very charming, friendly and outgoing man. He stands in high favour of the King, and with the exception of Domina's half brother Robert, no man has been granted greater wealth and honours than Count Stephen.

"Everyone agrees he would be an excellent choice for the throne," the Abbot added. "You know, Stephen was intended to board _La Blanche-Nef_ but he suddenly changed his mind as soon as the ship was about to disembark. According to him, he was not feeling well, but some perceived he looked quite fearful. A few recalled he and Prince William had looked to be arguing over something before Stephen returned to the docks."

"That is an odd incident," Heinrich mumbled.

"There are various rumours questioning what exactly had happened between them, but Stephen never has given an official comment. Interestingly, his younger sister Mahaut, the Countess of Chester, actually drowned with the ship. But nevertheless, one can clearly see this all happened under God's hands; Stephen was meant to survive, William was not."

"It is a shame the wreck was caused by the crew's intoxication of wine. If only they were more cautious."

"Well, Stephen is only a nephew and I imagine my father would want an heir of his own flesh and blood," I simply said. "What will he do?"

Heinrich turned to me with a sly, proud smile. "What do you advise him to do, Matilda?" He leaned the side of his cheek on his hand.

The answer instantly came to me. "Marry again, of course. My father must search for a wife as soon as possible so that he can gain an heir before grows too old."

The Abbot agreed with a nod. "That is exactly what his closest adviser, Bishop Roger of Salisbury, has told him."

"My little Empress has crafty political skills and wisdom of advice," Heinrich praised, taking my hand and giving it an affectionate squeeze. "If you were to ask, she would be able to tell you the best alliance for her father to make. And she also knows every important house of Europe."

I blushed at his boast. I looked back and forth from our visitors, and it seemed they had nothing else to say. "My husband is feeling tired, so if you will excuse us, our steward will lead you to your quarters."

"We look forward to seeing you both again at Vespers," my husband added.

The steward entered the chamber a few moments later to escort the men out. We both arose from our seats and walked by an antechamber that lead to our bedchamber. I sat on the foot of the bed as Heinrich lied himself to rest.

I heaved a long sigh. "I am still shocked by the news. My poor little brother," I buried my face in my hands and sob escaped my lips, "I cannot believe he is gone. He was rather troublesome when were children, yes, but it was just fun to annoy him too. And I cared for him."

Heinrich placed a comforting hand on my shoulder and sat up to embrace me. "You were lucky to have to siblings who cared for you. My older brother Conrad and I had never gotten along well. Your childhood was happier than mine, in truth."

I wiped my tears as I eased myself in his arms. His older brother had resented Heinrich for being elected Holy Roman Emperor despite Conrad was the oldest. Conrad suddenly died three years later, so there was no bloody competition planned to be ignited quickly, but Heinrich always wished they would had been close.

"Do you miss your home?" Heinrich abruptly asked me.

"Perhaps I seldom think of England, but why do you suddenly ask?"

"Would you like to visit? I have never traveled there, so I must confirm if its beauty and nature is truly as wonderful according to you. It would be nice to stay there as I no longer grow younger."

His last words sent shivers down my spine. It made me uncomfortable when he talked about death. Ever since the physicians concluded of he had an inflammation in his liver, he grew a habit of musing over the subject, which grew bigger overtime.

"You do realise you are not old, Heinrich. Don't speak of such things," I reminded him. About the main topic, I pondered of it deeply. It would give me the chance to see Stephen, Robert and Brian again, but I was not looking forward to seeing King Henry. Yes, I still resented him for sending his own daughter away so young despite I grew to love my new life. Betrayal still scars deeply. And you know, he never had sent direct letters to me asking how I was faring in the Empire, so that proves how much of a loving father he was.

"My health is declining, Matilda. A physician yesterday has told me my liver is growing worse. God knows how long I shall remain. But you have not answered my main question yet, _meine Liebe_."

"I suppose why not. I would like to see my half brother Robert and my cousin Stephen again. We can discuss about the inheritance of the English crown with my father," I decided. Then I took his bony hand and laid it on my cheek. "You are a strong man, and I pray to the Holy Mother you shall last longer." I paused to lock myself towards his dark brown eyes. "But  _you_ are my home, having adventures and traveling around the Empire. I don't want to lose you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is loosely based on chapter 3 of _The Fatal Crown_ , so you can bloody sue me now for ripping off some of the dialogue! (^▽^;) Disclaimer, disclaimer again. I wanted to write more about Matilda's Regency in Italy, but there is not much documented and recorded of it. But hey, at least the chapter has helped me improve my writing somewhat.
> 
> I always had imagined Emperor Heinrich and Matilda's marriage to be rather fluffy and cute filled with affectionate teasing, so I just had to add some of it here. They're actually both quite adorable together. (♥▽♥)
> 
> It is historical fact Matilda did attempt to visit England. That actually happened in 1122, but the journey was blocked by Count Charles of Flanders. She would have needed to pass his territory. Too bad, she would've been happy to see Stephen at least in this fic-verse.
> 
> Next chapter will be how Stephen reacts after the _White Ship_ accident.


	16. Chapter 16

✥ **CHAPTER XV** ✥

**FEBRUARY 1125**

**WESTMINSTER, LONDON**

* * *

" _Numerabis quoque tibi ego sed Count Stephen et Countess Mathilde, vir et uxor."_ *****

Stephen stood and leaned over to receive the kiss of peace from the bishop. He then placed his arms on Mathilde's shoulders and leaned to give a kiss on her lips. He gave a small smile and took her hand to face the crowd of Norman barons nodding or cheering in approval.

His uncle approached him first for a quick embrace and pat on the back. "Are you happy to be a Count of Boulogne now?"

"Yes, Uncle," Stephen replied. "Thank you."

He turned to Mathilde. "Ah, my Lady Mathilde, you're blushing, my dear! You seem very happy yourself too. You are truly a lucky bride to have Stephen."

"Thank you, Sire, for the arrangement," Mathilde replied.

"And my, you remind me so much of your aunt. May God rest her soul, you have grown as beautiful as she was. Similar face, similar hair, similar nature," King Henry murmured astonishingly. "Stephen, you best take care of her well."

"I shall, Uncle," Stephen agreed.

"Now let us all go dine at the wedding party! You will enjoy the Wedding Cup, you two." King Henry turned to leave.

During the wedding feast, Stephen and Mathilde sat together on a dais. They both drank the traditional Wedding Cup, but Stephen did not like the wine so much. It was too spicy for his taste. As the food was served and the nobles had their good laughs, he observed at his new wife. He supposed he could call her a childhood friend, but in truth he only saw her every few years. The last time he had seen her, she was only fifteen years of age. She was rather petite and did not have many mature features upon her, but now she did. Although still very skinny, she indeed was a beauty with her prominent blue eyes, high cheekbones, pointed chin and an upturned button nose.

Stephen took Mathilde's delicate hand and squeezed it gently.

"It's been so long, isn't it?" he spoke to began a conversation.

"Aye, it has been. Six years wasn't it?" Mathilde replied, smiling.

"Five. Tell me, what have I missed during the years we have been separated?"

Mathilde placed her chalice down on the table. "You may have heard my father decided to retire to the monastic life. This is the reason why we have married today."

Of course Stephen knew he was to marry this woman months ago, but his uncle only told him it was about time he should settle down for a wife. "Ah, I see. Did he not recently return from some trip to the Holy Land?"

"Hardly. When my uncle, his youngest brother, died a few years ago, he was offered the throne of Jerusalem. Father was not interested at first, but he was persuaded to go so he did. When he was on his way to the Holy Land, he learnt eventually one of our distant relatives was crowned already so he was forced to turn back. He was relieved he did not want to handle so much responsibilities there, but during the trip he thought so much of his faith. He already had gone on a crusade before we were both born, and he wanted to dedicate his life again to God before he dies."

"You never told much of your family to me actually. It seems your parents seem to be a equivalent couple as both have dedication to God and to the Church."

"Yes. And I want to follow their footsteps. I'd like to follow to my aunt's and saintly grandmother's footsteps too. My grandmother Queen Margaret of Scotland may have been queen, but my aunt had told me she always had wanted to be a nun initially because of her strong devotion to God."

The newly wedded couple continued chatting. During the feast, Mathilde eventually got to meet some nobles she had never encountered before and some of Stephen's family. His mother was also invited to the wedding too, and she was glad to see her third son there. Stephen's older brothers William and Theobald merely congratulated him. His youngest brother Henry, now the Abbot of Glastonbury, however, was eager to meet the new bride. Mathilde and the Abbot got along immediately.

Since Mathilde seemed to have an apt body and frame to bear him heirs and children, he assured himself he was thrilled to bed her. And she fit the conventional personality beauty standards with her docile, modest nature, calmness and her devotion to religion. Since Stephen did not love Damette despite she was the opposite of Mathilde, he believed he could love her and be a devoted husband. He had already broken off his affair with Damette a month ago when he told her he was to finally marry. Damette accepted and while she did admit she as aware Stephen never truly loved her, she wished him good luck and thanked her for being a good father to their children. Stephen promised he continued visiting his bastards and appoint Gervase as Abbot of Westminster some day.

Stephen knew that his marriage to the Countess of Boulogne was very likely a huge step in his quest to the throne. While he indeed was ecstatic about possibly becoming King of England someday, he was saddened by the fact William did perish with  _La Blanche-Nef_. He felt he was responsible for his death, after all, he was the one who permitted him to sail. Why did he not listen to his gut feelings completely and did not continue to persist?

His uncle never fully recovered from the tragedy. He married again to the beautiful Adelicia of Louvain a few years ago, but she still never had conceived. Clearly he must know everyone turned their eyes toward his nephew to be a candidate for the crown, being the favourite and all. However, the succession still remained unclear as Stephen's older brother Theobald was also another suggestion, along Robert of Gloucester. But Stephen knew Robert would never become King with his bastard status. Out of all, Stephen felt he was the one who mourned the most out of regret. He remembered the words William had told before boarding.

_"If anything were to happen to me, then you must be King, yes?"_

Perhaps William must had still been intoxicated by wine a little to say that. But if he had said those words, surely he had meant it? Stephen knew he could never forgive himself for causing Prince William's death indirectly, but becoming King of England would make up for his sins and live up to the words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***** I now pronounce you Count Stephen and Countess Mathilde, husband and wife.
> 
> AHHHHHHHH, OH MY GOD, I'm so sorry for not posting in 3 months! I actually had beginning drafting this chapter as early as late July. I know I promised (@Jessica) I would update before I started school but I got so busy! Returning from a road trip to Florida (I went to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter in Universal Studios Orlando, and it's absolutely worth it!) on the last few weeks of August and then starting 11th grade happened. I'm currently taking AP U.S History and AP Government & Politics this year, and I'm still trying to keep my grades up for my other subjects too. If you're not American, AP means "advanced placement" and high schoolers can take such college-level classes in either 11th or 12th grade for more chances to get accepted into specific colleges and possibly earn scholarships. AP U.S History _is_ hard as fuck, harder than I thought. Currently struggling with it, and this is coming from a history lover. ): Also trying to balance my hobbies, catching/watching TV shows I want to watch and reading books I like.
> 
> This chapter is short since I struggled writing Stephen's feelings about after William's death and his reaction to being married Mathilde now. But at least I've tried! ^_^; I apologize for the short length, and I may go back to revise it at some point to make it longer (along with other chapters' problems I dislike. I've noticed my writing style has changed.) I'll try to have the next chapter up before Christmas. And the 1-year anniversary of this fic is on December 5! :O Perhaps I may post 2 chapters on that day then!
> 
> Since I'm not always active in writing fics, you may find me more active on either [Tumblr](http://game-of-slytherins.tumblr.com/) or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/itsAttieee).


	17. Chapter 17

✥ **CHAPTER XVI** ✥

**MAY 1125**

****UTRECHT, LORRAINE**  
**

* * *

"Husband? Heinrich? You should stop now. It is almost Matins." I took his cold hand gently and gasped. "Your skin looks very yellow!"

Heinrich let go of my hand and continued to scrawl on the parchment. " _Liebling_ , I am fine. Don't fret."

It was already late, and my husband and I were still awake nearly three hours after Compline. Heinrich wanted to finish filling out documents, and he still had not completed them. For some reason, he had been working too hard recently.

I did not think the overworking has drained him more than his usual fragile health. For the past few months, I also had noticed his movements and habits changing. He would very much often sleep more and wake up later than dawn. Most of the time, I assumed he was tired from overworking, so I let him sleep and I handled some of his duties until he finally awoke. Heinrich also grew to have trouble walking properly, and sometimes I would had to help him walk on the steps to go upstairs or downstairs. In March, he had started to lose his appetite and I would often encourage him to eat some thing to get energy.

A nagging voice was constantly in the back of my head, telling me to prepare for something. I was aware of this, but I continued to help my husband and care for him so he could complete all his duties well without having him worry. I certainly hoped the worst would not strike upon him, but I often prayed to the Lord, asking him to recover and to forgive his sins. Was all this a punishment?

Heinrich, King of Germany and Italy and Holy Roman Emperor of the German Nation, was thirty eight years old. Most rulers and those of nobility were expected to live up towards between the ages of forty eight and fifty one - if God were to destine so. Death was the farthest thought of my mind as I was now merely twenty three. A fifteen age difference between my husband and I was not an issue for me to ponder such thoughts either. A physician, Dietrich, came for Heinrich twice a week to inquire about his longtime liver problems and tried to help him with the current situation he was now, but as days - no, months - passed, the Emperor seemed to grow weaker than stronger.

He often ignored the physician's and my advice to sleep earlier than his usual retirement and to not work too hard. Many times he would stay awake until midnight or an hour after midnight to perform his... responsibilities. I would be asleep most of the time, but sometimes I would just observe him to attempt to figure out why was he truly overworking his much. In fact, before, he would balance his duties decently for the day.

I took away Heinrich's quill and pulled his parchments away, rolling the parchments and placing them in a small shelf on the desk. "Please come to bed. You can finish them at dawn." As I was about to return to the bed, I noticed he suddenly stayed frozen on the chair, seemingly staring into space. I felt my blood froze too.

"Heinrich?"

Silence flooded the bedchamber for a moment. Then another moment. A third moment. Heinrich suddenly bent forward and clutched to his right side as in pain. Then he collapsed from his stool onto the floor. Liquid suddenly fell from his mouth, and I realized he was vomiting. More bile emerged from his throat and I cried out. I instinctively rushed to his side. I tried to lift him and bring him to lie down, and he continued vomiting. It was late, but I had to call a physician. After laying Heinrich down on the bed, I ran out of the chamber and shouted for Aldyth and a maidservant to summon Dietrich.

Dietrich rushed to our chamber as soon as possible. Heinrich was very pale and unconscious by the time he arrived, but at least he had stopped vomiting. As he was being examined, I frantically asked Dietrich if the Emperor would be alright, but he did not answer. I noticed Heinrich's breathing was very audible and loud. His mouth was opened and it seemed he was struggling to breathe. I felt beads of perspiration on my forehead, and I clutched his thin hand tightly.

"Domina," Dietrich locked his somber eyes on mine firmly, "I do not believe your husband will survive the night. I believe his liver inflammation and stress has overtaken him."

"No!" I cried. "Heinrich is a strong man despite his fragile health! He always believed he would become better and had strong hopes God will be good to him!" Although his internal strength was true, I knew I was exaggerating it too much. His habit of talk about death grew stronger in the last several years.

There were stories of physicians' negative cynicism that such a patient would not survive the night, but the patient would eventually recover and live for more years. I learnt if a person were to have strong will power and belief to survive, then they shall. Hopefully Heinrich will either awake later and gain such mindful power or in his dreams, he is thinking such.

I continued to have my eyes open to watch over Heinrich, hoping he would awake. If he were to awake and vomit again, I would be there to help him. But as hours passed, his eyes never opened. I would lay my hand on where his heart was located to check if it was still beating. It pumped fast but faintly.

 **~** ✥ **~**

Somehow, I had fallen asleep during the long night. I awoke to see the shutters and curtains opened, the bright sunlight streaming over my eyes. I was supposed to awake at dawn, but it seemed as if it was almost noon. As I sat up, I noticed Heinrich was not on the bed. I grinned, swung my legs on the side and ran from the chamber. I called for his name whilst running through many of the antechambers looking for him until I met with Aldyth. She looked at me with a blank expression.

"Where's the Emperor?" I asked her excitedly.

She walked in silence through the antechamber where the entrance of the actual entire chamber located. I followed and we walked through the palace halls and down the stone steps. I was hoping my husband was at the great hall, but Aldyth took me to a dark, windowless chamber at the far side of the palace, one I never entered before. There laid a bed and something was lying there covered by a long white sheet. I stared intently. Then I felt something caught on my throat and I drew my breath sharply. It finally hit me. The Holy Roman Emperor was dead.

No tears emerged from my eyes, and I knew not why. I supposed I was too shocked, but the realization my husband's spirit had left his body meant I was no longer the Holy Roman Empress either.

And Heinrich left me without saying a proper goodbye.

A wild thought of myself crossed my mind, pulling the sheet down and shaking Heinrich, hoping he would open his eyes. But oh, how that was just a part of my wildest dreams for him to still be alive. I fell to my knees in despair, and I felt my life was virtually over.

"I am so sorry, Domina," came Dietrich's voice behind me. He was about to place a comforting arm on me to help me stand up, but I pushed him away.

"Don't touch me!" I snapped.

The former Holy Roman Emperor's funeral was hosted a few days later in Mainz. I still never had a single tear fall from my eyes for some odd reason, but what I did feel throughout the rest of my days was numbness and emptiness. I felt I had nothing else to look forward too. Yes, it was worth a whilst I reigned as his consort and Holy Roman Empress for eleven years and truly grew to love the empire, but now I was just a childless dowager and could not have any other major role to play.

After Heinrich died, I handed his insignia to Archbishop Adalbert of Mainz, a former enemy of his. I knew of his ambitions to weaken the German monarchy, but at the time of handing it to him, I was too melancholy to care. He led the imperial elections for the next emperor, and another of Heinrich's former enemies, Lothair of Supplinburg, became the new Emperor. Although I supposed the two were my enemies at the time I reigned, I did not have to deal with them anymore as I was no longer allowed to take a major part in the empire's politics.

Wearing the Imperial crowns and diadems were now futile. They were just small expensive objects. But I was left property and some other riches according to my late husband's will, and I retired to a castle in Bavaria. All I did there was needlework and create black mourning gowns or just stare outside the window for long hours. I lost my appetite and spent sleepless nights, constantly thinking about the fact Heinrich never said farewell to me and regretting I did not help or care for him enough to prevent him from entering death's door.

"You should not waste time in foolish regrets and wishing what should you had done," Aldyth scolded at me one morning whilst I was picking at my breakfast.

I sighed and placed my head down on the table and on my crossed arms. "You do not understand, Aldyth. I made him some ailments hoping they would give him at least some strength to no avail. I tried taking care of him well as a wife should when a husband is ill, but he still grew weaker. Dietrich tried his best to help too, but it did not work. Mayhap he feels the same way as I do now, failing his duty to find a cure for him. Heinrich was only thirty eight when he died, and that is shorter than the life expectancy of a ruler." I paused for breath. I felt something wet falling from my face, and a loud cry came from my throat. The tears had finally come. "I failed, Aldyth, I failed Heinrich. And I failed very much because I did not bear an heir, a prince to continue his line."

Aldyth draped her arm around me, making gentle circles around my back. "Matilda, I know it is difficult to move from the loss and regret, but you are still young. Twenty three years of age and you still have more ahead of you. You are lucky you are a healthy woman who hardly catches illnesses. There's always finer fish in the sea, and you have requests for many German princes asking for your hand."

"Why should I marry again after Heinrich?" I muttered.

"You don't have to, dear, but God may have something far more exciting prepared for you soon. Now eat your salmon, Matilda."

"No."

"Please!"

"No!"

"I am certain the Emperor would have wanted you to eat and continue to live. Do you want to starve to death?" Aldyth lectured. "You have grown pale and lost some weight, Matilda. Just please eat. You would even try to persuade him many times to eat anyway, so he could have the energy."

I lifted my head and reluctantly took a bite from the loaf of bread that was also served first. Although I still did not have a good appetite, I tried my best to eat the entire the bread and the salmon. I asked a servant to bring some wine, but Aldyth protested.

"No, I do not want you to drown your sorrows into wine. It will worsen your anguish," she said.

 **~** ✥ **~**

"You should get some fresh air, poppet. It has been a weeks."

Aldyth continued to advise me to help myself for the next week, treating me as I was someone who had been sickly for too long. I would repeatedly rebuff her advice, but eventually would give in as I had nothing else to do. My appetite had slowly returned and I did avoid chugging myself down with wine. After stepping outside for the first time since arriving Bavaria four weeks ago, I suddenly wanted to remain in the outdoors all day. I would ride on my mare around the countryside and explore the nature. The nature did calm me and make me feel much better.

My former nurse was right. I was still a young woman who may have so much ahead, but I wanted to do _something_ of myself instead of doing needlework and wandering around as an ordinary lady who should be content with her allowance and station. I did not want to marry again as I knew these princes will just want me for my former status to parade with, along with the properties and riches I owned. I was glad to marry a great man like Heinrich, but I still could not bring forgiveness upon myself for everything. Even when I tried helping, he was still in pain.

But I often prayed to God, hoping some excitement would come along the way.

One day, after coming back to the castle after my daily outdoor adventures in late July, I was in my chamber removing my riding outfit, and as I finished donning myself indoor clothing, I decided to wear some jewelry after not wearing any since Heinrich's death. When I opened my a specific box that had an ornate gold cross set with pearls that my late husband had once given to me as a gift before to wear, I noticed a piece of parchment folded inside. I was confused as to why it was there, but curious of what it would possibly say, I picked it up to unfold. I caught my breath upon reading the first sentence.

_Matilda,_

_I know you shall be confused of why I have chosen to write this instead of speaking of it to you directly before my passing. I did not want you to worry of me, but I have known I was dying all along for the past months. I hid this message in the box of where the cross I gave you lay, so you can eventually find it after I am gone. But I am very much sorry for not telling you. I know you truly care for me, but I hate to see you be in fear._

_I want you to be happy,_ Liebling _. Please do not mourn for me for the rest of your life. I know God is destining you for even more greatness than just being a Holy Roman Empress. You have done very well as one, and I am proud of you. Wherever I am right now, I shall always be proud, smiling upon you. You never failed nor ceased to amaze me with your mind. I am happy you did take care of me well while I suffered, but God would have to take me soon despite you and Dietrich's attempts to find cures. I do not have any purpose in this world anymore, but you do._

 _Matilda, do you remember when we had tried to visit your father in England to discuss about the royal succession, but we could not because of Charles of Flanders? Your father and I had been in contact for the past months before I wrote this and as his wife seems to be barren, he plans to nominate you as his successor if Queen Adelicia were to never ever conceive before his death. This matter will remain a secret from the general public and society until he decides to officially announce it. Only Aldyth must know about all this from your words, do not tell of it to anyone else. King Henry is aware of your political talent and skills so whilst I am gone, you are to go home to Normandy and England._ _You are King Henry's only legitimate child now, and I expect you to live up to my words as I doubt Queen Adelicia will conceive. You will be a great Queen, I know it. And I know you and your father are not on good terms, but please have some respect towards him as he will groom you to be the first sole female ruler of England and Normandy. Remember all the subjects and skills I have taught you too._

_That is what God is destining you for, my little Empress._

_Heinrich_

I was too stunned that the parchment fell from my hands onto the rushes of the floor. King Henry nominated me as his heir? This had to be too good to be true. But this definitely explained why Heinrich had been constantly writing so much before his death. I could not believe Heinrich never told me all this in person whilst he was still alive, and I wanted to rage and be angry for being so secretive to me. Heinrich and I always promised to each other to never keep anything from each other!

But I suppose he had a good reason to. I was astonished my father never wrote to me yet as surely he must had heard of my husband's passing by now. But messages take some time to deliver anyway. Either that or he is waiting for my arrival, expecting me to learn of his plans from my husband eventually. I suddenly felt myself beaming now, a trembling of excitement in my blood boiling. I grinned foolishly and I clasped my hand on my ornate cross tightly.

"Thank you, Lord. And thank you, Heinrich," I spoke softly.

I called for Aldyth to come into my bedchamber. The smile was still plastered upon my face and she looked at me, confused and bewildered. 

"Tell Truda and Gisela to come here and pack my belongings. We are heading to Normandy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Heinrich! He died from liver cancer (yellow skin is a major symptom of it actually.) Don't worry, Matti, he wants you to be happy. He knows you will be bestowed greater responsibilities and plans for the future.
> 
> I enjoyed writing this chapter. It's fun writing about Matilda's personal feelings and thoughts again after a while, as I missed writing in first person point of view. I think is one of the best chapters I've written so far.
> 
> I always thought Matilda returned back to her homeland because she was aware she may be nominated as her father's successor later on, not like in _The Fatal Crown_ where she is forced to come back home against her will and her father keeps the plans for her secretive from her and everyone else until later on. I'd like to think either her father (or her husband before he died) had told her about all the potential plans first before telling the public. Although it is fact Matilda chose to return to Normandy and remained there while knowing her father was still hoping Queen Adelicia will conceive an heir.


	18. Chapter 18

✥ **CHAPTER XVII** ✥

**AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 1125**

**JOURNEY TO ROUEN, NORMANDY**

* * *

In the last moment, I proceeded to back my trivial things in small boxes and bags. Servants were also carrying remaining boxes to the courtyard. About a week ago, I wrote a letter for my father to notify I would be journeying to Rouen in Normandy. As I thought about the fact he was nominating me as heiress presumptive, I felt a stab of pity for his current wife. Poor Queen Adelicia for never conceiving a child. I wondered what she must be like. I had heard of praises for her despite she was assumed to be barren. She was known for her gentle, pious, compassionate nature - which sounded familiar to the thought of late dear Lady Mother. I so hoped we would be good friends, but of course she never shall replace my beloved mother.

"I admit, I'll miss this beautiful land too," Aldyth spoke, glancing about the empty chamber.

"Aye, but I am glad God has answered my prayers," I replied.

My female attendants were bawling their eyes out with their tears, and I walked towards them to embrace and give them comfort. Actually, I could not see Gisela and Truda as only my female attendants; they were my dear friends too. My dearest friends in my own sex really. Gisela was a young widow who was about a year older than I. She came to my service about a year ago after her husband, a minor Count, who shortly died from an illness a year after of their marriage. Truda was four years my senior, and she was widowed after her husband died from a campaign in the Holy Land a three years ago.

"You shall like Normandy and England, I promise you," I said soothingly.

Drogo, my bodyguard, entered my chamber and bowed. "Domina, your escort is ready."

"Thank you, Drogo," I replied. Releasing from Gisela and Truda, they both took my bags to leave. Aldyth followed. Drogo somehow remained. "Why do you stare at me like that?"

"I was thinking, Domina, of how astonished you choose to return back to your native land now after many years," the white-haired knight replied. "If your husband were not to have passed, may God assoil him, you would have remained here and perhaps bore an heir. I thought you would not want to return to Normandy or England because of your father.'"

"I doubt much it would have happened anyway," I murmured vaguely. "But what else would I be of any use here?" Noticing his confused expression, I proceeded to leave the room.

As my entourage waited outside, Drogo helped me mount my black stallion, Dancer. A crowd of common German folk nearby were in tears upon seeing myself about to leave, and I waved towards them and gave a warm, sad smile. I was touched by the sight and my heart went to them. Never I shall return nor see my beloved people again. I would miss the beautiful nature and countryside and the food of the Empire. Glancing towards Drogo, now on his horse, I raised my right hand. He saw my signal and saluted, thus leading the entourage. A stream of tears fell from my face to both mourn for leaving the home of my heart and to excitedly anticipate a greater destiny and a duty for the crown of England.

 **~** ✥ **~**

The journey across the continent took about month to finally reach the Duchy of Normandy's borders. Now, we were about thirty four miles from Rouen in the village of St. Clair. One more day to finally reach our destination. As Aldyth, Gisela and Truda unpacked certain things for tonight at the inn we all were staying at, I pulled my cloak hood up and decided to stroll around the village alone. I had spent my earliest eight years of my life entirely in England, so I never knew what Normandy truly looked like upon exploration.

The village was, I supposed, a quaint place. There were markets selling crops and accessories, some monks and nuns walking to the local chapel to pray at Vespers, a group of children playing with a cat and regular villagers chatting about. The people generally seemed to be in happy spirits, and I saw no sort of discord. A typical village if you asked me, but it was rather nice.

Wanting to explore the nature too, I passed by several houses to stroll through the meadow of overgrown grasses located near a river stream. I found a large boulder where I could sit and I watched the later afternoon sky. After a while, I leaned against the tree behind me and closed my eyes to feel the warm breeze. It was quite nice to find some time alone for myself to absorb the lovely late summer weather.

I began hearing a noise after a while and widened my eyes open. I looked again towards the sky to now check the time, seeing the sun beginning to set. Sweet Marie, I must had dozed off for about an hour! My entourage must be worried of where I was! But I turned back to my thoughts towards the fact there were noises of... sloshing water?

Now my mind was conflicted whether I should head back to the inn or follow the noise since it was growing late. I then shrugged to myself; it would not hurt to linger about for another short while. If anything were to happen, I knew how to handle myself. Besides, the sloshing water probably came from ducks or geese flapping about, and I always enjoyed observing those birds. I rose from the boulder and proceeded to follow the noise at the right. After walking a few feet, I noticed something on - or in - the water as I approached the noise's orign, and I stopped and raised a hand over my forehead to try to see it clearly. It was clear it was no bird, but...

Wait, was that a person?

As I stepped closer to discover whatever it actually was, I now saw arms spread wide and legs moving up and down the water. It was a muscular man with honey-blond hair, and his eyes were shut, seemingly to relax under the stream. I took note he had a long but straight nose, an arresting face with high cheekbones and dark tawny eyebrows well-shaped like hawks' wings. It took me a moment to realise my face was heating up at the sight of this handsome man. Then the man opened his eyes, the color of peridot, and locked them towards me. Suddenly, the gold man let out an involuntary scream and ducked underwater. And I felt my foot move forward somehow, and little did I know I tripping myself on a rock onto the stream. I shrieked out of fear as the darkness flooded through my sight.

As I sank underwater, I felt my heart thumping too fast and uncontrollably and a wave of intense fear and panic spread. An intense numb feeling coursed throughout my body, and I felt as if someone froze into ice after staying out too long in very cold weather. An image of Elfrida wrapping tight arms around my throat and pushing my head up and down the water while I struggle to free from her grasp flooded my head. Then it changed to the time when I was delivered the news of my little brother had died with the _La Blanche-Nef_. An imaginary representation soon developed in my mind of a seventeen year old William crying out for help and then succumbing to the cold waters of the English Channel. I screamed painfully at the memory and the imaginary illustration, and I was extremely fearful of drowning like he did. The stream's cold waters then began to cause me discomfort on my skin as if I was stabbed.

Then strong arms gripped on my waist and pulled me up towards the surface. I waved my arms and legs uncontrollably while continuously screaming as the man who was swimming peacefully carried me. He set me on a large rock to sit on and removed my dark wet cloak. As I shivered uncontrollably with my eyes closed, I heard his footsteps fade for a moment. He then returned and draped something over my body as I whimpered. I refused to open my eyes out of uncertainty.

"Shush, shush, Lady. You're on the surface now. Everything is alright," the man said softly. He placed his hands on my shoulders. "Look at me."

I slowly opened my eyes, looking at a concerned face. As I scrutinised him, I realised there was something familiar about this man. His face, his gold hair, his green-gold eyes...

"Stephen?" I whispered.

His eyes widened in surprise, glancing about my face to take account in. "Matti? Is that really you?"

A loud cry escaped my lips and I sobbed uncontrollably. I shivered and gripped my arms around him. He slowly embraced me in return and rocked me softly to comfort. Stephen of Blois, my dearest cousin and childhood friend, saved me from a terrible fate. And I was shocked of the fact he was the handsome man who was swimming naked in the stream.

Wait, he was still naked...

I widened eyes in realisation. "C-cousin, your clothes?" I let go from his arms, and I could not tell if I said that out of nervousness in terms of propriety or out of still being chilled from the stream.

I saw his face turn pink and he walked away to don his clothes. After he was finished, he knelt in front of me.

"I remember now you have a fear of drowning in waters and you cannot swim. But I am still surprised to see you again, especially in this sort of situation," Stephen said.

"I-I am sorry for causing you a stir and disturbing your peaceful swim here, Stephen," I apologised. "I did not know you were here. What was the main reason you were doing here?"

He brushed his fingers on his tawny wet hair. "I was on the road to Rouen as King Henry called me for attendance. I am staying here for the night, and I wanted to have some moment of relaxing and bathing in the stream here alone. Your father did not explain why, but being a loyal subject and nephew, I decided to go anyway. Now I see why he had summoned for me." He smiled. "I've missed you greatly, Cousin. And you did not know it was me bathing, so you don't have to apologise. It is me who should apologise for causing your fall."

"It's not your fault. Truly. It's just my clumsiness got the best of me somehow and sweet Marie, how I hate it!" My face fell on my hands. "I've come to Normandy to start a new life as there was limited options in Germany after my husband died. I could've become a nun or remarried to someone there, but I chose neither."

Stephen nodded. "I'll take you back to the village inn. I'm staying there too. Aldyth is still with you, yes?" I nodded at his question. "She must be worried sick about you now. How long have you been out here alone?"

"I have no idea. Perhaps an hour? I somehow fell asleep while I was originally spending some alone time in this lovely weather until I heard you swimming." I pulled Stephen's mantle closer around myself to feel warmer and rose from the rock. "I am a little better now. Thank you, Cousin."

As we walked through the village square to return to the inn, Stephen would tell me funny true stories to cheer me up from the stream incident, and I would genuinely laugh along. He was good at relieving people from their problems indeed! Sweet Marie, he never truly had changed. All the accounts I had heard while I was still Empress were right. Even while we were returning to the inn, he would greet the village people briefly and wished them a lovely evening. The sight I saw made me admire him more.

The familiar excitement and enthusiasm I had whenever I was around him remained, but I acknowledged there was something different. Somehow, I felt nervous despite we had known each other since we were very young. My heart also pumped faster, even though there was no plausible reason it should had happened. But whatever the case, I could not identify the other wave emotion I had felt.

When the both of us arrived at the inn, I was greeted by Gisela and Truda's gasps.

"Lady, we both were worried!" Gisela exclaimed. She removed Stephen's mantle from me and my cousin extended his hand to signal it belong to him, thus giving it. "You should get off from these clothes before you catch a cold."

"Who's he?" Truda asked, gesturing at Stephen before I entered our room.

Before I could answer, Aldyth came from the room and curtsied to him. "Stephen of Blois, you hardly changed."

"Pleasure to see you again, Aldyth," Stephen greeted. He returned my wet black cloak to her. "I'll explain what happened to the Lady Matilda." He proceeded to tell the tale of the incident, and I closed the room door.

Gisela and Truda helped me out of my black tunic and gown. I pulled my chemise over my head.

"Gisela, the robe please. And Truda, call for the servants to draw my bath," I ordered.

When Truda left the room, Gisela began to giggle. "That cousin of yours, he's rather handsome, don't you think?"

I blushed furiously. "He indeed is." She noticed my dark pink face and proceeded to giggle even more. "What's funny?"

"I find it amusing you are blushing since you are not the sort to blush."

Before I could respond, there was a knock behind the door and Stephen peered inside.

"Matti, if you need anything of some sort or someone to talk to while you are bored, I'll be five rooms down at the left," he said. "Also, do you mind if I accompany with your entourage tomorrow on the road to Rouen?"

"Yes, yes! It would be a great pleasure!" I agreed excitedly.

He smirked. "Excellent. A great pleasure with a lovely wild lady like you indeed." He winked and closed the door, leaving me laughing out loud at his playful remark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goddamn, it's been a year since I've begun this fic! I know I said I was probably going to update on December 5th, but since I posted this on New Year's Eve, consider this both a late Christmas and a New Year's present.
> 
> So Stephen and Matti have finally reunited! Originally, I was going to have them reunite in a funny situation or comedic way, but I decided to make it a rather awkward and scary one.
> 
> Drogo is based on Drogo, Matilda's bodygaurd, from _Lady of the English_ by Elizabeth Chadwick. Gisela and Truda, while they were minor characters in TFC, are going to play major or supporting roles in this fic.
> 
> Have a happy New Year and 2016, readers! And thank you to all those who are still reading! :) ♥


	19. Chapter 19

 ✥ **CHAPTER XVIII** ✥

* * *

Stephen sat on his bed, pulling his brown leather boots off his feet. He placed the pair under a table next to the bed. Standing up, he unbuckled his belt and removed his tunic. He was about to remove his hose when a knock interrupted. He walked to the door and pulled the latch open, finding himself faced to face with a strongly built white-haired man. He had a severe face and dark eyes staring intently towards his own green as if he was searching the depths of his soul.

"My lord, my name is Drogo. I am Domina's personal bodyguard. May I come in?" the man said.

Wondering why Matilda's own bodyguard wanted to speak with him, Stephen permitted him inside his room and gestured at the wooden stool near his bed. As Drogo sat there, Stephen sat at the edge of his bed.

"So what brings you here?" Stephen asked.

"You are Count Stephen of Mortain and Boulogne, yes?" Drogo inquired.

Cocking his eyebrow, Stephen nodded. "Yes, I am." He held his hand up that showed his signet ring for proof.

"So you are her dearest childhood friend after all." Drogo did not blink as he continued staring. "I have accompanied with Domina since the day she had left Windsor. King Henry had assigned me to be her bodyguard ever since. Now I think of it, I actually recall seeing you as a young boy. I don't know if you can recall seeing me when she was about to depart, however." He paused for a long moment, narrowing his eyes. "I definitely hope you do not hurt her."

Stephen abruptly stood. "I never would do anything despicable to hurt her. She was my dearest friend!"

Drogo stood also, arms crossed. "That is not the only reason I am here either. Despite you had known her as a child, you have not seen how she has transformed during the missing years. I witnessed her grow into a woman and wield power as a consort to an emperor. She has a great spirit and will inside her. My mistress may have her pride as a shield and sword, but there is fragility and vulnerably in her character. Clearly you have seen it when she was very frightened of drowning just like her late brother. Since you are her _dearest_  friend, I presume you will help and care for her tenderly with devoted loyalty."

"Of course I will." Stephen raised his chin. "The lady is in safe hands with me."

"And since she still misses her husband, I expect you to bring some happiness to her again. She may be thrilled to see you for the first time after many years, but she still mourns for the Emperor. She did care for him very much." Drogo walked to the door and opened it. Before he was about to depart, he glanced one more time at Stephen. "It was a pleasure to see you again, my lord." He bowed and left, closing the door behind.

Stephen sat back down again on the edge of the bed. Although the Empress was enthusiastic to meet him again, he could not see what the bodyguard saw in her. But he knew the Princess Matilda, Drogo knew the Empress Matilda. Since he was her cousin, he expected her to still trust him like before, but would she truly?

The manner on how he and his cousin reunited was frightening. She almost died drowning! He blamed himself for causing her a fright when he saw her hooded face. Initially, he thought it was a witch or even Melisandre, a supposed daughter and a spawn from Satan, because she was covered head to toe in black. But it was definitely Matti for certain once he had the chance to observe her facial features closely and glance at the colour of her hair. With a pang, he was astonished on how beautiful she had blossomed. Her chubby cheeks had shrunk and her high cheekbones became prominent; her curly russet hair was no longer frizzy but tamed, now also falling to her waist. She had grown to a rather tall slender woman with a graceful carriage and a high bosom. Stephen never thought she would become so lovely.

Something suddenly stirred from the depth of his emotions, but what was it exactly? He felt his palms sweat and his body trembling. Heart pounding heavily, he quickly raised himself from the bed, picked up a lit candle and walked out the room down the hall to where Matilda's room was located. He stared at the door. Then the bells rang, signifying Matins and fully awakening him to his senses. By God's teeth, what was the matter to him?! Why was he feeling this way? Why did he choose to walk to her room at the middle of the night? Stephen was sure Matilda was asleep right now and he did not want to awake her.

Mortified with embarrassment despite no one was around, Stephen returned to his room quietly. He placed the candle back onto the table and removed his shirt and hose. He laid on his side on the bed and snuggled under the coverlet, pulling it close to his mouth. Closing his eyes, he took deep breaths to calm himself down from the intensity that occurred. Then at last the feelings finally passed and wave of sleep began to take over him.

 **~** ✥ **~**

The bells of Prime rang through Stephen's ears as he groaned, wanting to sleep more. Pulling an extra pillow on his face, he intended to doze off for another short while. He despised waking up early and enjoyed sleeping for long periods of time. Then after an indefinite time, a knock disturbed his sleep. Remembering last night, he groaned again. "Drogo, I need half the hour."

"Stephen, open up, it's Matilda."

The sound of her voice jolted him up immediately from his bed and he struggled to find something to conceal his half-naked body. He found his mantle on the peg behind the door and spread it around himself. Pulling the sides tightly over to hide his torso entirely, he pulled the latch and saw Matilda fully dressed. She was wearing a burgundy kirtle over a surcoat, along with a silver girdle fastened on her waist. Her russet hair was combed into a long single braid.

"Good morning, Domina." He bowed to her.

"Oh, don't play coy with me, Stephen." She scrutinised him. "You still haven't changed your sleeping habits."

"Matti, don't tease me. I hate waking up early, you know that."

"I remember. It is already an hour after Pri–"

Stephen's eyes widened. "It's been an hour?! Matti, would you please give me a moment?" 

He closed the door and quickly grabbed a bag hanging from a hook at the side of the room and opened and rummaged through it, various clothes spilling onto the floor. He found a white linen shirt and a black tunic on the floor, both unused. Unpinning his navy mantle and placing it aside on the bed, he slipped the shirt and tunic over himself. He glanced around for his hose and found them on the door peg. He slipped it over his legs and linen drawers. Stephen then grabbed his brown leather boots from under the bedside table and placed each foot inside the pair. Glancing at the small mirror hanging on the wall above the table, he ran his fingers over his curly tawny hair to tidy it.

After finishing his toilet, he packed the clothes that fell onto the floor into his sack and slung it over his back. When he opened the door again, Matilda looked up and down to observe his appearance.

"I liked it better when you hair was messy." She tousled his hair playfully.

"King Henry always hated when my hair is disheveled," Stephen attempted to fix it again.

"That is his problem. You seem more playful with that hair, and it suits you." She paused. "We should go and continue the journey to Rouen." Matilda turned to cross the hall and Stephen followed. "Are you hungry by any chance?"

"No, I'm fine."

"I have some green apples if you want any. And pomegranates."

The two cousins gave their room keys to the innkeeper as they took their leave. The morning sun shined brightly and not a cloud was in sight. What a beautiful day! Drogo was already standing next to Matilda's stallion, and he helped her mount onto the saddle. Stephen found his Flanders mare tethered at the other side of the inn. He trotted his horse next to his cousin. Matilda then raised her right hand to give the signal to her bodyguard allowing the entourage to move.

As they rode passed through forests and towns, Stephen and Matilda would enthusiastically talk and talk. Just two of them. Matilda would laugh gleefully at the jokes her cousin cracked, and she actually nearly fell from her horse!

"Sweet Marie, I should take caution of myself!" Matilda clutched her reins. Her stallion raised his head up and snorted. "There, there."

"What's your horse's name?" Stephen asked.

"Dancer. He was given to me when I was twelve and when I married Heinrich, the Emperor. He was a wedding present from Heinrich. I named him Dancer because he is always moving his legs even when tethered, and he would look like he's dancing." Matilda giggled and spread her arms around Dancer. "I refuse to ride any other horse because of him. I'll be taking him to England. What about your horse?"

Stephen glanced down at his mare. "Her name is Audrade. King Henry gave me her when I was sixteen. I truly have no idea why I named her that, I suppose she looks like an Audrade to me." He pet Audrade's mane. "How was the Emperor? I presume he was a good husband to you."

Matilda nodded. "He did not make me miserable. I grew to love the Holy Roman Empire, thanks to him. He did not make me feel unneeded or unwanted, and he inspired me to work hard and learn more." She gave a sad smile. "Although it is a pleasure to return to my native land, I do miss him. Without him, what am I to linger about Germany? I don't feel called by God to be a nun, nor do I desire to remarry."

"You wish to remain a widow for a lifetime?"

"Why not. Heinrich was enough for me." Her face fell, now looking at her hands. "But I cannot take any part of politics anymore at the Empire, so I've come here."

A silence flooded. Although Matilda seemed to be telling the truth, there was something else besides her explanation of her return, as if she was hiding something from him. Was she keeping a secret? If so, what? Then he remembered Drogo's words and that it may take some time for her to trust him entirely like she once used to.

Matilda eventually recovered from her sad disposition within a moment. Stephen continued to converse by talking of the land of Normandy as he remembered she never had truly explored the Duchy's borders anytime as a child. She only came to Normandy when she was on the journey to Germany at the time of her betrothal. Stephen would explain of the local and lesser gentry and nobility living in Normandy's counties. Hours passed while talking on and off and at last, they all finally reached the city of Rouen. Stephen pointed to the wooden houses of the common folk and the main shops of the city. He talked of the Jewish population that lived in Rouen, comprising about six thousand people, and they had a _yeshiva_ there. He also showed her the city's cathedral and mentioned its history, adding it was once struck by lightning fifteen years ago.

The entourage entered the precincts of the ducal palace, and a groom took Stephen's bridle as he dismounted. When his cousin also dismounted from his horse, the two were greeted by the palace castellan. Then a small, stocky, dark haired man walked down the stone steps from the west side of the courtyard. Stephen immediately recognised him.

The man was smiling at Matilda, his arms outstretched. Matilda saw the man and stared at him for a moment with confusion. Then she widened her eyes. "Robert?" she whispered. Then a happy cry escaped her lips. "Robert!" She ran towards him and embraced him tightly. She wheezed on his shoulder, and Stephen could not tell whether she was laughing or crying tears of joy. He smiled at the affectionate scene.

"Yes, it is I, Sister." Robert let go and placed both his hands on his younger half sister's temples. "Oh, how I missed you dearly! By Mass, Matilda, you have grown beautiful!"

"Thank you. And you are still the same warm Robert I knew as a child," Matilda replied. 

Robert cocked his head to the side. "Stephen! I did not expect you to accompany with Matilda. How did you meet her?"

"She was stopping at St. Clair for the night yesterday, and I happened to stay at there at the same time. King Henry had summoned for me to come for an unknown reason, and I realised it was because of her arrival." Stephen gave a bright smile. "Her father wanted to surprise me."

Robert grinned. "I am very pleased you two have rekindled your friendship. He is even my dearest friend too." He took both of Matilda's hands. "I am so sorry for your loss, Sister."

She sniffed. "I deeply miss Heinrich, but I must look forward to the future and move along towards life. There is no use of me back in Germany now, and I chose to return here to find another purpose."

Her brother nodded. "Father and your stepmother would want to see you after you change from your riding attire. You'll be lead to your newly appointed chamber. Stephen, I will tell him you have arrived with Matilda's entourage." Robert turned around to walk up the steps and take his leave.

"How is the Queen Adelicia exactly?" Matilda asked Stephen.

"I think it's best you find out yourself."

 **~** ✥ **~**

Stephen changed from his journey clothes to a more luxuriant outfit in preparation to see the King. Although he normally preferred to dress simply, he felt the need to wear something more appropriate for the meeting, especially since his cousin would be dressing sumptuous for her official entrance. Better off matching instead of two different fashion styles clashing as if it were a wolf and a deer acquainting together. After slipping on long blue tunic embroidered with red and gold and tan boots of Spanish leather, he adorned his blue mantle and pinned the centaur brooch that Matilda had given to him many years ago for his tenth birthday on. Although he had not been wearing it for the last two days, he would actually wear the brooch often, and it was like a talisman to him. Before slipping out of the chamber, Stephen tamed his curls to look even more presentable for King Henry.

He walked downstairs to the hall where the throne room was located. He stood at the front of its double doors to wait for his cousin to arrive. Matilda arrived a few moments later, and his eyes widened at the sight of her. She wore a long ivory gown and linen tunic with hanging sleeves. A broad girdle of pale gold was fastened on her midriff, emphasising her narrow waist. A purple mantle embroidered with gold eagles and vines was fastened around her shoulders. Around her neck and on her bosom laid an ornate iron cross set with pearls. Her copper hair was plaited and coiled around her ears, and an ivory veil held by a jeweled coronet fell behind her head. Indeed, she looked every inch of her title as an empress. Stephen felt his jaw was about to drop and his heart pounding — again.

Restraining himself, he approached Matilda and bowed. "Domina, y-you look very fair." He took her hand and gave it a polite kiss. But once he did the deed, he felt the deep flicker about his body. There it was again! What was wrong with him? Then he locked his green-gold eyes onto her blue-grey ones, and at the straight gaze, he now felt a flicker coursing. There were servants, two guards standing in front of the double doors and Matilda's attendants, Gisela and Truda, surrounding them, but himself staring towards her was if the two were the only people in the hall. Stephen released her hand as the palace castellan opened one of the throne room doors' slightly to slip inside.

"The Empress Matilda!" the castellan boomed. The guards opened the doors, revealing a long wide hall, crowded with nobles and courtiers. King Henry and Queen Adelicia were sitting at the far end.

Stephen stood behind Matilda to follow as she walked forward elegantly, her chin held high and shoulders squared, reflecting her pride and dignity. As he walked slowly, he felt tense and out of sorts. He was worried if the others could detect it, but his hands continued to tremble and the palms sweated.

As he drifted to his mind in wondering what sorts of emotions were dashing throughout, he acknowledged there were more than one emotions causing his symptoms. They were heightened even more than they were the night before. But then, he recognised there was an intense emotion among the array he had experienced before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First chapter of 2016! :D I realized the chapters since chapter 12 (or 13 if you count the prologue as chapter 1) have been alternating from Matilda's to Stephen's point of views from every other chapter. I'm not going to make the future chapters like that. Since the fic is mostly told in Matilda's POV, majority of the chapters will have her POV. But Stephen's POV chapters are there occasionally.
> 
> We all can relate to Stephen with his sleeping habits and his love for sleeping in. xD
> 
> Dancer is the name of Matilda's horse in _The Forgotten Queen_. Audrade is the name of Stephen's horse in TFC.
> 
> It is fact 20% of the population of Rouen in the 12th century was Jewish. And it is supposed there was a Jewish _yeshiva_ , an institution in studying of Jewish texts.


	20. Chapter 20

**✥ CHAPTER XIX ✥**

* * *

I held my head high with dignity as I strode gracefully through the throne room. On the corner of my eye, I spotted the nobles and ladies bow their heads or curtsy in respect. I felt my pride beam even more at the sight of their respect towards my rank.

Looking towards the two people sitting on their thrones, King Henry caught my eye first. Indeed, he looked so much different from the last time I had seen him. Of course it was because it had been fifteen years. His face had many creases and lines, especially around his eyes. His hair was almost completely grey and he sported a long beard. Before, he would have a stubble and faint mustache as he enjoyed maintaining youthful looks. I supposed Will's death affected him so much — well, it was supposed to anyway. I felt rather melancholy at the thought of my little brother again.

On his left sat the absolutely stunning and beautiful Queen Adelicia. With her gold locks and doe-brown eyes framing her oval face, I supposed she was the loveliest woman I had ever seen. I noticed she gave a friendly smile, which sent me relief as it was truly genuine and was eager to meet me also.

When I approached the dais, I bowed and curtsied out of respect. On the corner of my eye, I saw Stephen's face was flushed and his frame remained standing. I gave him a look and it took him a moment to realise. his mistake. I noted he quickly bowed in a bit of an awkward manner.

"Daughter, it is a great pleasure to see you again after more than a decade, but there is no need for that," King Henry spoke. His voice was the same natural gruffness as I remembered. "You're a royal princess and my flesh and blood after all." He turned to my cousin. "Pleasure to see you again, Nephew."

I stood on my feet immediately and curved a smile on my lips. "A greater pleasure to see one's father again."

"Hm, so you have not forgotten your native Norman tongue. This is something to be thankful for." He placed his strong hands on my shoulders, and I heard a twitter of approval from the audience. He placed both of his hands on my cheeks. "And I would never forget that hair of yours. You've grown beautiful, Daughter... your face is your mother's." He kissed my cheeks and patted them. I could not help but smile at his words.

I turned to my stepmother and curtsied. "Lady Mother." It sounded very awkward saying that to a woman some months younger than I.

The Queen widened her eyes slightly, and her mouth was clear she was attempting very hard to not giggle. She must have perceived through my words. "You do not have to call me that, dear, but I hope we shall become friends."

Stephen approached Adelicia and took her hand to give a respectful kiss. "Lady".

"Hello Stephen," Adelicia greeted

"I find it interesting Stephen somehow met Matilda whilst she was journeying to Rouen," King Henry mused quietly. "Well, I am pleased to see a childhood friendship rekindle again."

"Stephen would talk favorably of you many times of your happy childhood days, Matilda." Adelicia grinned.

Stephen suddenly burst into a rather strange, obnoxious laugh that startled me. "Sire, I think you should introduce your daughter to the great men of the Court," he said quickly. Too quickly.

What was with him? I even saw odd looks from the nobles surrounding. I felt myself flush a bit.

King Henry led me around the throne room with his arm wrapped around me. Only a small handful of the nobles were here as the many others were busy with their important duties and lands in England. I was especially introduced to Stephen's brothers Theobald, the present Count of Blois, and Henry, Abbot of Glastonbury, whom I both had never met.

"Domina." Both of them bowed respectfully.

"My lord," I said to Theobald. I turned to the Abbot. "Benedicte."

"Welcome to Normandy, Cousin," Abbot Henry said in a clipped voice. "I am sorry for your loss, but may God assoil your late husband. I shall pray his soul finds his way to the Lord."

They both had the handsome Blesevin facial features like Stephen. I thought Stephen was the most attractive out of the three. Sweet Marie, why did that suddenly cross my mind?! Well, I supposed it was not wild to think of that, but it was true in my point of view. These two unknown cousins gave me respectful smiles and greetings, but I noticed especially Henry of Blois' eyes held a form of coldness. Even his words about Heinrich gave me shivers across my spine. Was he mocking him? And why was he being cool when he only had just met me? Not that I was really concerned but it was peculiar. Perhaps I should ask Stephen later.

 **~** ✥ **~**

I was satisfied with my new appointed chamber in the ducal palace. The hangings, bed coverings and curtains I brought from the Empire were all arranged to give comfort. The rest of my large baggage were also placed to where it would suit my interests, such as my preference for the casket of the relic of Saint James and an altar at the right side of my bed. As Gisela, Truda and Aldyth unpacked the rest of my lighter baggage, Queen Adelicia walked into the chamber.

"You have everything you need?" she asked.

I nodded. "It's enough. I'm pleased that this chamber makes me feel as if I am at home in the Empire."

"I understand. I can remember when I had difficulty adapting to my new surroundings after marrying your father." She smiled. "But I brought many belongings from my native land to feel even more content."

"Do you miss Louvain?"

"I still do sometimes, but I am happy I've grown to care for your father very much." A tinge of blush crossed Adelicia's cheeks.

"The Holy Roman Empire has been my home for majority of my life. It is still rather odd to even think of Normandy and England is where I have come from. King Henry has plans to appoint me as his heir, but I've returned as a foreigner."

"I believe he did the right choice. He has told me of your accomplishments as an Empress. We are truly impressed. I understand this breaks tradition, but you truly have the heart, soul and mind of a Norman."

That compliment warmed me greatly. "You are very kind, thank you, Adelicia. But who only knows of these plans?"

"Just the three of us, your German ladies and Aldyth. I know not when he will finally tell everyone else, however." Adelicia strode to sit down on a cushioned stool. "For certs, I know there will be major opposition from many as you are a woman, that is what I am concerned of, but do you think you can face that?"

I bit my lip. "I am not ignorant to believe everyone will support my claim, but I shall prove I am capable to govern England and Normandy just like my father."

Adelicia's eyes drifted to the altar with interest. "Matilda, is that what I think it is?"

Gisela overheard our conversation. "Oh yes, indeed! That is truly the relic, my lady."

I stood to go unlock casket, presenting a left forearm adorned with a jeweled sleeve.

"They allowed you to keep it?" Adelicia asked breathlessly.

"Yes. The new emperor knows I have it."

"I heard tales that it has healing powers. Could it heal a barren wife?"

I gave a sad, sympathetic look. "I don't know."

A throb of compassion coursed throughout my being for my stepmother. How could God not bless a beautiful, young, fully formed woman holding kindness, humility and the gracefulness of a queen with at least one child? People have been looking month after month at her belly in hopes she would bring another son of Normandy. Yet, naught has come to bring about a savior to the crown and duchy. I even felt I could relate to her, as we married older men who did bear illegitimate children (except Heinrich rarely showed interest of bedding with me.) A wave of resentment followed through now, as it annoyed me to no end women were pressured mainly to be breeding sow.

"I do pray you will conceive some day," I said genuinely.

Adelicia sighed. "I doubt so. We have been married for four years already."

"Let us not lose hope and remain optimistic for the future."

An awkward silence then flooded between us, the only sounds including Gisela and Truda shaking out some of my clothes. Then Truda spoke up, "Matilda, were my eyes deceiving me or your cousin Stephen was acting like a clumsy sheep today?"

I could not help but giggle at how she referred to him. But she was right. What was going on with Stephen lately? "He was even stammering when we were walking down to enter the throne room. I have seen him nervous before when we were children, but... it seems his behaviour today has more to being nervous."

"I know Stephen well so I can confirm this is not his usual charming self," Adelicia added. We all looked at her for expectancy. "It is quite rare for him to be nervous over anything actually."

"Should I be concerned anyhow?"

Gisela shrugged. "I do not think it should be too important. Perhaps he drank some wine before your audience."

"Stephen is not habitual drinker, Gisela. He seldom does it. And he did not seem to have drunken any when we saw him," Adelicia pointed out.

Another awkward silence. "I know not then."

"Alright, enough about Stephen. Let us talk about something different," I suddenly exclaimed. "Gisela, Truda, what do you think of Normandy so far?"

"Lovely," both of them replied.

"And Aldyth?" I realised Aldyth had not spoken at all during all the talk. "Just so you know, we are going to England in a matter of two weeks."

I saw her blue eyes grow shine and heard her whisper in Saxon how happy she was to return to her native land.

 **~** ✥ **~**

For the next several days, I took the time to explore around the ducal palace and Rouen. Robert and Adelicia would mostly accompany me and take up most of my time to tour me around. I had seen Stephen around but I noticed he had been... avoiding me? Whenever I would approach him, he would barely speak and then get distracted by either his noble friends or his brothers.

"Let us stop by the fabric stalls. I need more threads for a new tapestry I've been working on," Adelicia suggested as Robert and I walked through the Main Street.

"I'm thinking of making a new gown, so I'll buy some threads I need," I replied. I followed her through the crowd to one stall. The merchant bowed to both of us politely and I browsed through the selections. I picked up a green bolt of silk and examined it. Satisfied, I draped it over my shoulder and picked up another bolt, this one of silver color.

"How much total?" I asked the merchant.

"Three silver coins, my lady."

I reached my pouch belt for my bag of coins and placed three silver coins on his hand. He nodded with thanks, and I drifted to the side of the stall to wait for Adelicia to finish. I observed about the street, smiling at the sight of two small children chasing each other around the fountain of the square. I then looked up at the sky, noting a large swarms of clouds passing.

A loud voice suddenly broke nearby. "It is the Count of Mortain!"

I saw Stephen walk through the streets, greeting and waving. He gave his typical charming smile and then I heard loud shrieks, realizing there was a small group of young women swooning over him. I truly felt surprised at the sight.

I heard Adelicia giggle next to me. "This is not surprising, but you can expect more people hailing at Stephen when at London. This is just something small."

Stephen found the group of squealing women. He whispered to his squire next to him to get something and gestured at a particular — the prettiest — woman to wait a moment. The squire returned with a flower and Stephen handed it to the woman. She smiled and thanked him, and Stephen walked away, blowing a kiss towards her. The woman's friends squealed even louder.

"Ah, typical Stephen," Robert chuckled.

I rolled my eyes. "Brother, Adelicia, can we walk to another section of the city?"

Adelicia nodded, and I followed behind her while Robert walked next to me and gave me a concerned look. "Sister, what's amiss? Your arms are crossed."

I did not realize that. My arms then fell immediately back to my sides. "Nothing, nothing. The sudden loud commotion just annoyed me quite a bit."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Fathers' Day!
> 
> Again, I apologize for the long wait for this chapter! School, AP exams, finals and other real-life issues prevented me to work on this. I also recently just turned 17 back on June 10th! One more year till legal adulthood, holy crap! :O I can't be any more happier that school finally finishes soon on the 24th. I'll try to update this fic as much as I can during the summer so don't expect another chapter uploaded very fast, as I'm actually going to be looking for a job and _might_ travel soon ~~and party~~
> 
> So we finally got Queen Adeliza/Adelicia officially introduced! I decided to use her alternative name Adelicia and base her off from _The Forgotten Queen_ 's Queen Adelicia appearance and personality-wise. 
> 
> We know historically Stephen is known to be handsome and popular by the people, so I don't blame the group of chicks or gal pals fangirling over him when they see him. xD


	21. Chapter 21

**✥ CHAPTER XX**   **✥**

* * *

What was going with Stephen?

His behaviour had definitely grown odder. I would frequently see him around at the Court but he would not approach me. I waved at him at one point where he most definitely would notice me but we did not meet eye contact. Another attempt to gain his attention was talking loudly with Adelicia whilst he would be earshot of my voice. Nothing. He would continue ignoring me.

When I would approach him to chat, he would hardly say anything. Stephen would turn to the person nearby to muster an actual conversation, then ignore me again. How rude of him!

“It’s so strange, Gisela. First he laughs obnoxiously during my entrance to the Court and acts like a bumbling fool. Then he avoids me! Why is he treating me with coldness if we talked so much together on the way here?" I paced back and forth, muttering my complaints. I flung myself backwards on my bed, groaning.

“Calm down, Matti. Has he even looked at you at all?” Gisela replied.

“He barely looks at me! Only he would in my few attempts approaching face-to-face contact,” I huffed.

“Well he’s popular among the court after all. Everyone knows him,” Truda pointed out.

“Yes, but I’ve known him even before he grew prominent at my father’s Court.”

“You do realise because of his prominence, it’s basically a habit of his to get along with everyone. Of course he has made some friends and acquaintances he spends time with over the years. He grows busy.”

“Just do not take an offence over this and overreact, dear child,” Aldyth advised. She sighed. “You take matters too much at face value. You both were catching up on your journey here to Rouen, now he needs time to catch up with other friends he has missed over the course of months since his time in Mortain. Perhaps you should get along with his brothers to pass the time, and then Stephen will talk to you again.”

“Theobald seems alright. But his younger brother Henry?” I shuddered at the thought of him. “I do not know why but he does give me a tense feeling around him.”

“Have you ever met him before?” Gisela asked.

I shook my head. “He was educated at Cluny since he was small. Stephen came to England when he was six so he would not talk much about Henry. But I’ve noticed they are both close in the present.”

“They both look very similar actually,” Truda added. “Except Stephen is the much handsomer one.”

“I honestly think Theobald looks better. Those dark curls and dark eyes, sweet Marie…” Gisela sighed dreamily.

I stared at her. “You do know he’s married, yes? To the daughter of the Duke of Corinthia.”

She shrugged. “A girl can dream, can she?”

It was typical for my ladies to talk about handsome men about — actually, most women enjoy talking about this sort of topic. It can be something fun to talk about really. Sometimes, when Heinrich was still alive, I’d chat about how he treated me well, fair and as an equal as a way for them to find these sorts of qualities in a man. Although not the best looking, I was thankful to be married to a kind, intelligent and honest man.

I grew bored at the topic about Stephen and handsome men. Now what was I to do to keep myself productive?

I suddenly sat up from my bed. "I'm going to see Brian. I haven't had the chance to speak with him properly ever since I've arrived here."

My ladies waved goodbye and I walked out of my chamber. I strolled through the hall to the spiral staircase, rushing down through the many corridors of the palace until I found the way to the courtyard. Brian was there... with my cousin. My eyes had to be deceiving me! They were both talking amicably and Stephen was laughing cheerfully with him! I thought they hated each other?

I approached Brian after Stephen walked away and lifted himself on his horse. I greeted him, and he smiled at me and kissed my hand courteously.

"Well, well! This cannot be the little mischievous redhead from my childhood! I did not remember her to be this beautiful." Brian gave me a quick embrace. "It's gracious to see you again and have a proper meeting after all these years. I am sorry for your loss, Domina."

I laughed. "You don't need to call me that right now. I'm still plain old Matilda. But thank you. You look fantastic, Brian." I ruffled his dark curls playfully. "Don't tell Stephen I did this, you know very well how he is."

Brian waved his hand as if that was unimportant. "Do not worry, Stephen and I are the best of friends now. Our differences are in the past."

My eyes widened. So it was true! "When did this occur?"

"Upon your departure to Germany, Stephen sobbed heartbrokenly when you left and I comforted him. He apologized for treating me like chattel since we had first met, and I forgave him, giving him a second chance. He hasn't treated me poorly ever since. We go hunting together and stroll around London or Rouen. We spend time together whenever we are both able to see each other at King Henry's Court." He locked his blue eyes intensely on me. "He was jealous of our friendship."

"Stephen jealous? That's surprising."

"Everyone has encountered the green-eyed monster at some point or another."

I hummed. "I suppose you're right, Brian." In my mind, I was debating whether to ask him if I was being a bother to Stephen. He may as well have an answer to my questions. "Is something amiss with Stephen? He has been avoiding me lately."

Brian looked away, pondering over my inquiry. I noticed he tapped his fingers on his hilt. "I actually haven't really took heavy note on whether he's been interacting with you lately. But that's strange because he was with you when you arrived here. You both did seem to have gotten along well on the reunion. I could ask him for you, or do you want to approach this subject to him yourself?"

I am not the type to be nervous but confronting this to Stephen for some reason made me anxious. A part of me was tempted to have Brian do the job, but something in my head told me to not to do that. I decided to be logical about the situation.

"I shall talk to him."

"That's reasonable," Brian agreed. "But I can still ask him about you."

"No, no, you don't need to. It is quite alright, Brian."

A loud crash interrupted our conversation and I whirled my head to see the King falling backwards on a cart, causing an effect of it rolling about, crashing into boxes that toppled over some bystanders nearby. I instinctively rushed to his side to help, along with attendants and servants. Others helped those who were affected from the fallen boxes. The King was pale, shaking violently with white foam drooling from his mouth.

“M-Matilda?” his choked voice cried, looking at me.

“I’ll call a physician,” I managed to say despite my shock. I was about to leave until his hand stopped me.

“Don’t… Roger went… fetch him.” Roger was the Bishop of Salisbury and my father’s chancellor, the chief justiciar. “Stay.”

 **~** ✥ **~**

“How’s Papa?” Robert asked, rushing towards me after he had returned from hunting.

“The physician is bleeding him. He’s alright now,” I replied, leaning on the doorframe of King Henry’s chambers. “Apparently, he ate some spoiled lampreys.”

My half-brother shook his head. “Again.” He sighed. “I’ve advised him over and over to avoid eating those lampreys. Does he want to risk being poisoned to death?”

“It’s always been his favorite dish, Robert. Perhaps it was just unfortunate he ate a spoiled dish of them.”

“This is the second time he has had problems with lampreys. I need to talk to the steward about keeping an eye on those who bring food to the kitchens.” Robert walked past me and disappeared down the corridor.

I re-entered the royal chambers, and the physician was wrapping the King’s bled leg. I wrinkled my nose at the fowl overwhelming smell. My father tried to sit up comfortably on the bed, with Bishop Roger propping up the pillows to give him support.

“Dear daughter, would you mind pouring some Norman cider for me?” he asked.

I etched myself to one of the nearby tables that had a silver jug and poured a cup of wine. I handed the goblet to him, to which he stared at me intently.

“Leave us,” he ordered the physician and the bishop. Once they were gone, he drank the wine in one gulp.

“Robert has inquired of your condition. Stephen, he hasn’t returned yet. I am not certain of his whereabouts,” I told him.

“Ah, Robert. He’s always been the son of my heart. It’s a shame he’s illegitimate, he would’ve been a great candidate to the throne.”

He continued staring at me, which eventually annoyed me. “Why do you look at me like that?”

“You remind me so much of your grandmother. Yes, you do resemble your mother greatly but I see the same determination and spirit of my mother.”

Now I was the one staring. His words piqued my interest and I sat at the edge of the bed. “Tell me about my grandmother… Papa.”

“Mathilda van Vlaanderen,” he pronounced her name in her native Flemish, “was one of the fairest maidens of Flanders at the time — also one of the most educated. She descended from Charlemagne herself. But she had a high pride. She initially refused to marry your grandfather, claiming she was too high-born to marry a bastard. When he received that as a response, he found her leaving church one day and grabbed her by her long blonde braids to the ground in front of her attendants. Then he simply left without a word. Her father — your great-grandfather — naturally took an offence to this and threatened to attack him.”

My eyes bulged at his words but continued to listen.

“Yes, it sounds like a brutal beginning but she changed her mind eventually, refusing to marry anyone but your grandfather. He never laid a hand on her ever since. The Church did not approve of their marriage because they were both third cousins. They excommunicated them until a papal dispensation was finally given. But your grandmother grew to love your grandfather deeply, remaining loyal and devoted to him until her death. She was the one who inspired him to conquer England, pointing out he had claim to the crown because of his great-aunt. She had a great political influence on her husband that she was entrusted to be regent for the Duchy of Normandy whilst he did his conquest. She did not offer mercy to those who committed treasonous acts. One time, an English ambassador tried to take advantage of her, and she threw him in prison where he was tortured and left rotting in his dirty cell until he died. She governed so well that no major uprisings or unrest occurred locally.” King Henry smiled. “She was a small woman too, only five foot, but no one dared to underestimate her strong will and wrath. She was well-matched with the tall, ruthless and strong William the Conqueror.”

I was very impressed at the accomplishments of my namesake. She truly was a fascinating character. “How come you never told me in detail about her when I was small, Papa?”

“You were too young. And I never had thought you would eventually inherit my crown after I’m gone. But I am grateful to have you, Matilda. You are my mother all over again. I am very proud of you and of all your accomplishments as an empress. You will certainly make a great queen. History will remember you as the great Queen Matilda, the Lioness of Justice.”

Tears glimmered my eyes. At that point, I never had heard of my father complimenting me. Growing up, I was more or less like a distant relative of his than a daughter. A pawn groomed to be used and disposed in political intrigues. I had resented King Henry for so long for causing me to grow up too fast. Reading the letter from my late husband was something but hearing actual words of confirmation from my own father brought me so many emotions. I embraced my father affectionately.

“Thank you, Papa, thank you.” I laid my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat and tears falling. Despite his current age, I prayed those beats will continue on for a long time.

The door suddenly burst open. “Uncle! How fares you?”

I turned to see Stephen running to the bedside and grabbing a wooden stool nearby to sit on. I observed that my cousin’s tawny hair was disheveled, his face streaked with dirt, his cloak torn. What in God’s name happened to him whilst he was gone?

“I’m fine, Nephew. Just ate something that did not agree with my stomach, nothing to worry about.” King Henry licked his fingers and ran them through his nephew’s hair, arranging it to look neater and presentable. “What did I tell you about appearing to me with hair like that?”

I tried to hold in my laughs at the roll of Stephen’s eyes and his annoyed look.

“I’m sorry, Sire. I’m happy that you’re recovering. I just wanted to check upon your state.” He paused for a moment. “I can see you are busy having a private discussion with the princess, so I shall come visit later.” He got up, bowed and then left, closing the door behind. 

I took note Stephen was not looking at me when he was about to leave. A part of me was tempted to run after him to confront him like I told Brian earlier, but I decided to leave off the situation for another time. After all, I had many more questions to ask my father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, I'm not dead, don't worry!
> 
> I had major writer's block for about a year and aside from being so busy with my final year of high school, a lot of things were going on my life, causing difficulty writing new chapters for this fic. But do not worry, I will not discontinue writing this. Ever. I promise you all. I already have a bunch of ideas in my head for the next several chapters, it's just my fingers can be difficult in typing the words.


	22. Chapter 22

**✥ CHAPTER XXI**   **✥**

* * *

Stephen was flighty and fast as the wind. His desire to flee from the King’s chambers was tremendous. In truth, his desire to flee from his cousin was even more. He ran down the stone steps through the many corridors of the palace to the stables, calling for the stable boy to lead Audrade out. He quickly mounted the horse and pulled the reins. He felt his tawny locks whipping about his forehead, the overwhelming feelings of satisfaction and relief overpowering throughout his body.

He could not bear to look at his cousin. She was too lovely. He cursed at himself, going as far as one thought of punching himself in the face for a mere moment. Guilt along these strong emotions towards Matilda would appear.

_I should not be feeling like this, I should not be feeling like this. Dear God, why does she have to be so beautiful?!_

The russet waterfall of her curls, those wide grey eyes sparkling blue flecks, the oval face and high cheekbones, the swanlike neck, the elegant carriage, the high bosom… the gay, melodious laughter and alluring voice… Matilda had cast a spell on him. She drove him mad, made his palms moist, his voice deepening while unwittingly attempting to seduce her. He had thoughts of pulling her into his arms and their lips meeting. However, his rationality would come back and remind himself that this is his own first cousin and also the King’s daughter. The Lord knows what would happen if he ever kissed her, especially if caught.

He had to avoid Matti as much as possible, so he would not outwardly show signs of being attracted to her. Stephen already cursed at himself many times for bumbling around in front of her and being flirtatious towards her.

 _Does she feel the same for me?_ With his charm and golden, handsome looks, he knew exactly when a woman was swooned by him. With Matti, he could not tell. She gave no hint or any sign of being attracted towards him. In truth, no, she would never feel that. _Mary’s tears, I’m her cousin! I’m her childhood friend. She would never see me that way!_ Stephen shook his head dismissively.

Regret filled him for purposely staying away from Matti. He was certain she was wondering what in God’s name was he doing. Perhaps she is angry at him already. He definitely needed to apologise to her eventually, but how would he control himself around her?

Stephen really needed to see his brother. His zealous attitude could help damper him.

**~*~**

“Oh here comes my older brother the peacock who struts at Court with his gracious charm as a free giveaway,” the Abbot Henry of Blois cooed upon the sight of Stephen.

Stephen rolled his eyes at his brother’s bantering. “Oh here is my _little_ brother, Mama’s favorite pet.”

The abbot snorted at his returned jest. “So what goes now at Rouen? Is our dear cousin being an annoyance to you?”

Stephen cringed. “No! She’s never an annoyance to me! Anyway, it’s our uncle. He ate lampreys again.”

Henry looked up and turned to face him immediately from his desk at the last sentence. “Oh? His current condition?”

“The physician has bled him and given him a remedy so the King can dispel the poisonous contents out of his system as quickly as possible.”

“Hmph. King Henry is too headstrong to even listen to someone who knows more about these sorts of situations than himself. You see Stephen, when you become King, do not behave towards that way to the physician when you fall gravely ill. Kings don’t know anything about medicine and health.”

“And do you know anything about the Church? Are you aware of how absurd some their rules are?” Stephen retorted.

“Blasphemy! You make the sign of the cross right now, Brother! You ought to see a priest and confess later.”

Stephen and Henry, although they were brothers, they did not exactly grow up together throughout most of their childhoods. Henry was sent to Cluny at three for his clerical education when Stephen was five. They only saw each other a few times a year. Then at seven, Stephen was sent to England. He did not see Henry again until he was around seventeen when Henry was summoned to meet the King of England.

The brothers loved each other but there were at times heated tensions. Henry was Countess Adela of Blois’ favorite child. Adela adored him for his prodigy and cleverness. As far back then, Stephen would vaguely remember his mother scolding him for not being as fast as Henry and for being a reckless, hyperactive child, compared to the quiet, bookish youngest son. Dear Mama would always compare him to his younger brother. It was annoying. Even at England, reports of his lessons and behaviour at Court would come to Adela and she would complain and compare him too to Henry. By God’s existence, it was difficult to please Mama.

Since Henry was the smartest man he had ever known, he was the go-to advice for anything but religion. Stephen especially disliked on his views on women just because the Church would teach that women are to be a blame for Eve being responsible for original sin. Yes, they had some reason but women are still lovely and appealing creatures. 

Speaking of women…

“Speaking of faith, I need to talk to you because I’m having problems controlling my lust for this one particular woman,” Stephen said.

Henry’s eyes narrowed towards him and then they rolled. “Here we go again with these women. You’re giving more stains to your soul with those impure thoughts.”

“Listen, this is very important. I cannot ever let her know what I’m feeling towards her.”

“Who is she?”

Stephen went completely still. “A married woman from Rouen.”

Henry stood from his stool and walked towards him. He placed his hands on Stephen’s shoulders. “I shall remind you of Mathilde. I know it has been very long since you have seen her, but you made a vow on your wedding day to her. You are supposed to remain faithful towards her. She would want that. If you were to bed this whore…”

Stephen wanted to punch him for calling Matti that, despite he was not aware he was talking about her.

“… you would break her heart. And you will not just hurt her but also your children.”

Stephen nodded. “I have not bedded anyone outside of the marital bed throughout my marriage, in truth.”

Henry’s eyes widened. “Really? But before, you would take so many mistresses, especially— what’s her name again? She gave you Gervase.”

“Damette. Speaking of Gervase, how is he faring?” Stephen smiled at the thought of his bastard son.

“He’s actually doing well in his lessons! Speaks very good Latin,” Henry beamed proudly.

His brother returned the same prideful look. “Tell him I am a proud father and that I am proud to have him as my son.” He walked towards the door. “Thank you for the advice, Brother. I am taking it very much in my consideration.” He turned the knob and opened it. “By the way, what do you think of Matilda?”

Henry’s expression suddenly changed into distaste. “She is… something. She is a very interesting woman. But I sense she is hiding something, and I intend to sniff it out.”

Stephen held out a pointed finger out. “You are not the only one! I swear by the Saints, she is hiding something! She is very vague when it comes to why she has decided to return to her native land. But I understand she is not mentioning something because she only has just first seen me again after many years.”

“I want you to find out and tell me. Use that charm of yours, Brother. She may know something regarding the… succession.”


End file.
